


The Path That Leads to You

by Whatsastory



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: AU, Angst, Bottom!Link, Bottom!Rhett, BoyxBoy, College, Experimentation, M/M, Switch!Rhett, Top!Rhett, pining!Link, pining!Rhett, rhink, switch!Link, top!Link
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2019-10-16 04:22:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 57,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17542607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whatsastory/pseuds/Whatsastory
Summary: Rhett and Link are going through a lot of changes. Moving out and going to college. New city. New this and new that. There’s only one constant; each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Enterthetadpole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enterthetadpole/gifts).



It takes a lot to ignore a force of nature like Rhett. There's a lot that goes into it. Like, really a lot. There's a whole process. First, there's keeping your eyes shut, because if he sees that they're open, he's gonna start running his mouth. Next, there's ignoring him, because again, that mouth is always moving, always trying to get Link riled up. And third, there's avoidance. Because if he gets his hands on Link, Link's gonna go under water, and he's gonna get mad. They're gonna wrestle, and Rhett's probably gonna win, and Link's just not in the mood for that. 

That's why he's found a little spot, just off the shore, where he can lay on his back and float with his eyes shut tight. He can pretend that he's there alone, and maybe he'll actually start to loosen up a bit. Thing is, college is starting up real soon, and he's not quite ready to leave home. But Rhett is. Rhett's ready for new girls. Ready to be able to bring those girls back to their shared dorm and "Show 'em a real good time, buddyroll." 

But Link, Link's a little more reserved. He's gotta take a little more time to process. Gotta adjust his brain to being away from his mama every night and feeding himself every day. Link's stressed, and he wants to settle down a little before he's out in the real world on his own. 

"Come on, man. This is the last week before school starts. We gotta get our shit to the dorm. You really just gonna float there like a... like a log? Or better yet, just a piece of dog shit driftin' through the waves."

Link chooses to ignore him, knowing that indulging him would only keep the banter going, and he has more important things to do. Namely, pretend that Rhett's far away from him so that he can maybe, just maybe get his muscles to stop being so tense for fifteen fucking minutes, please. 

"Link," he says again, and again Link is quiet. "Link. Linklinklink." The waters lapping at Link's skin now, wetting the spots that the sun had mercifully begun to dry, and he knows Rhett's swimming over to him. He can hear the coordinated splashing and hear the way his name gets louder with each passing second. Well, shit. 

He waits for a beat, letting his predator get a little closer, waits til the last second and ducks under the water and moves his limbs with all he's got to swim away. He feels a hand grab at his foot, and shimmies it out his grasp before surfacing and using his reach to sail across to the other shore. 

"You can't get away from me, Neal," Rhett teases, closing the gap quickly with his much longer reach. 

"Not for lack of tryin'," Link yells back and drags himself up on the muddy bank of the river. 

He flops on his back and breathes hard, resigning himself to the fact that Rhett's right on his heels, and he's too tired to fight back now. Sure as shit, he's there before Link can even blink, planting his fists on either side of Link's head and grinning down at him wickedly. 

"Gotcha." 

"Getchur stinky ass breath out of my face, man," Link whines and swats at Rhett's arms to make him move. His only answer is a fresh hot blast of air to his face, and obnoxiously loud laughing. 

Rhett's body mimics Link's and settles in the mud, finally quiet for a reprieve, if only for a moment. Link chances a glance over, one eye shut and the other barely cracked open. Rhett smiles back in his direction before returning his gaze to the blue skies above. 

"That cloud looks like a boob," he mentions and points haphazardly at the puffy white semi-pornographic image. 

"Why you always gotta make everything dirty?" 

Rhett rolls on his side and props his head on an opened palm. Link chances a look over, but the look on  Rhett's face, the look that says he's about to go on an overly detailed spiel, he turns back away just as quickly. 

"Why you always hangin' around me if you don't like what I got to say?" He fires back, and Link rolls his eyes with a grunt. 

"Well, if you'll recall I tried to ditch you just a minute ago and you chased me down. Been that way since we were six. I can't shake ya. You're like herpes or somethin'." 

"Yeah, well you would know."

Link's sends a smack to Rhett's exposed stomach and can only feel pride at the heavy grunt he gets in return. A mirrored hit is sent into him, but he can't be mad. It's an unspoken rule. You touch, you get touched back. It's the way it's always been. 

Link's quiet again after that, settling his thoughts back to the upcoming week. He's making a mental checklist of things he needs to do, and it's stressing him out. His lips dip down in a frown, his brow furrows in concentration. Rhett sighs heavily next to him and lays down again, one arm tucked beneath his head, the other draped across his middle. 

"It's gonna be okay, bo," he tells him, his voice softer now. 

"I know that." 

Link is defensive. He doesn't wanna be talked to like a baby. He doesn't need Rhett to coddle him. He never has, and let's be honest, it's annoying that he's always done it. Going back to grade school when he felt it necessary to punch the kid that had the nerve to pick on Link during a soccer game. 

"Okay." 

Rhett's patient, to his credit. He knows Link is freaking out. But he also knows that if he pushes, Link will clam up and never talk about it. He just needs to give him a minute of silence and Link will tell him. Tell him that he's just worried because of this and that, and once he opens up Rhett can tell him all of the reasons he doesn't need to worry. 

"It's just that..." 

Rhett smiles to himself. There it is. 

"... it's a lot of change, ya know? We're leavin' everybody behind. It's just gonna be us..."

"It's always just been us, brother." 

Link gives him that same side eye again, but chooses not to comment on it. Sometimes, he's not really sure what it is, but sometimes Rhett does this thing where he's too serious. He's too much and maybe Link likes it, maybe it makes him uncomfortable. He can't really tell. And Link's a practical guy. He doesn't like what he doesn't know. 

"Yeah, well it'll be us until you have a parade of girls in and out of the dorm. Then it'll be me. Third wheel. You'll be livin' it up and I'll be there by myself."

"Link..." he's feeling sorry for himself and Rhett's not gonna stand for it. "You worried I'm gonna forget about you? I couldn't if I tried. All my stories have you in 'em. And I can't imagine that's gonna stop anytime soon. We're gonna be fine, brother. We'll carry each other through." 

Link's eyes are starting to burn, and it's not cause he's crying. It's not, really. It's because there's a lot going on, okay? He doesn't care that Rhett's being sentimental. He doesn't care that Rhett always knows what to say. He only cares that he feels a little better. And it's not a moment too soon because he's felt bad for a while now. So, no, it's not because he's relieved that he and Rhett are gonna be fine. 

Rhett's decent enough not to mention it.


	2. Chapter 2

The wind is whipping through the cab of Link's pickup, his music is turned up to an ungodly volume, and he's feeling pretty good. His boxes are packed and strapped down in the back, he's organized a decent amount. As organized as a big move can be, anyway. Luckily they didn't have to move furniture, so his bed and dresser are still back in his room at home, and while he'll miss them dearly, especially his bed, he's okay with having new things. 

Rhett's in the Dynasty behind him, and he can see through the rear view that he's singing, too. His face is red and he's really going for it. He wonders if Rhett's singing the same song that he is, and honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was. He knows he's not alone in this drive, not really, but still. He thinks if Rhett's back there singing along to 'Neon Moon' then he'd feel a little better. A little more connected. And because of that, he decides that it's absolutely not weird that he's imagining Rhett's voice harmonizing with his own. No, it's just one guy, musically involved with another. It happens. 

Link's driving along at an okay clip. Not too much over the speed limit, but slower than he normally would. Don't get him wrong, he's not one to be overly cautious usually, he's a teenaged boy and teenaged boys pride themselves on their immortality. He's no different, it's just that there's a lot in the bed of his truck, right? He can't be flying around and losing boxes. That's just stupid. 

So when, on a flat stretch of country road, he hears Rhett's car rev behind him and he looks in the rear view again and doesn't see shit, he's not surprised. Rhett's played this game before. Stupid fucking chicken, Link had called it the last time he was in the passengers seat and they'd swerved to cut around traffic. Rhett's car paces his just long enough for Link to get a big middle finger blasted in his direction, accompanied by a shit eating grin that Link's just itching to smack off of his face. His finger goes up in retaliation, and with his other hand he blasts the horn. This idiots gonna get himself killed and Link's gonna have to explain that to Rhett's mom. Selfish prick. 

Luckily for the both of them, Rhett's car finds its way in front of Link's truck, and Link's gesture of 'fuck you,' hasn't gone anywhere. He'll keep it up all the way to NC State if he has to. It's not like it's a long drive. He can hold it up for that long. Soon enough though, he forgets it and focuses on getting there in one piece. 

"Look who finally made it. Welcome, Grandma," Rhett exclaims as Link pulls in next to him. 

"I was right behind you, jackass. And let's not forget that I was weighed down with half'a your shit." 

"Yeah, Yeah. Don't worry grandma. Let's get this shit up to the room, less you think you might break a hip?" 

No one thinks Rhett is funnier than Rhett does. He's always so proud of every little lame ass joke that comes out of his mouth, and Link can't help but roll his eyes. Honestly, if he had a nickel for every time he did it, he wouldn't even need college. He'd be set for life. 

Link carries box after box, heavy thing after heavy thing. He's sweaty. He's sore. And he's... he's doing most of the work, because Rhett 'heart eyes' McLaughlin is too busy stopping to chat up every little brunette he sees. It's disgusting, really. His mama raised him better than that, Link thinks, and thinks again about how his own mother must be so much more proud. 

Link's adjusting his tv on his dresser when Rhett walks in, whistling and grinning like the Cheshire fucking cat. He sets a box down amongst the others and pats at his stomach. 

"Man, I'm hungry. Think I'm gonna go grab some supper. You want anything?"

"You're hungry? Really now? Must have worked up quite the appetite leanin' against that wall talkin' to that girl. You spit so much game that your breakfast came up?" 

He's irritated, and Rhett knows it. It's why he offered to get Link dinner in the first place. But Link's not taking the bait, and honestly, so be it. Rhett couldn't care less, he tells himself. This is college. It's what you're supposed to do. 

"Got her number, so my game must have been just fine. Thanks for askin'. Now about that food... Big Mac, or..." 

"Whatever man. Just go get whatever you want. Leave me to unpack all'a this. I moved it myself. Might as well do this, too." 

He's pissed. Rhett's an inconsiderate asshole, and Link's blood is boiling. It's their first day there, and Rhett put a girl before him, just like he promised he wouldn't. It's too much and maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Link should have stayed at home. 

Rhett pauses when he sees the daggers that Link's piercing blues are stabbing into him. If looks could kill and all of that... He shifts uncomfortably on his feet, trying to think of anything to say that might make Link feel just a little better. 

"I'm sorry," is all he can really think of. It's weak, okay, he knows that. He knows. But he means it. He's not playing anymore. He fucked up and he gets it. 

"It's exactly what I was worried about." Link voice is so soft and small, barely above a whisper and Rhett feels weird about it. There's this little spot in his chest, well, right under his chest maybe? But there's this little spot that hurts at the sound. And it's never done that before, and he's not real sure what it means, but he knows he doesn't like it and he wants it gone. 

"Link..." he reaches a hand out to him, but Link shakes his head and takes a step back. And that little spot gets a little bigger. 

"Just go get us some dinner, please. I'll be here. Maybe don't leave me hangin' this time, okay?" 

Okay, so moving is exhausting. Like, unless you've moved on your own, with very little help from your friend, you can't know how tiring it is. There's boxes stacked along the walls, and it's really driving his OCD crazy, but he can't really make himself get up to start unpacking. 

Rhett's gone, and without him there to stake a claim, Link climbs in the bottom bunk to make a home. It's comfortable, if you consider prison cots comfortable, he guesses. But maybe once he puts his own sheets and blankets down it'll offer a little something more. His eyes are heavy and he can close them for just a minute, just until Rhett gets back. And that's the last thing he remembers before the door slams shut and he hears a shuffle of paper bags and gets a whiff of delicious grease. He doesn't move, though. For some reason his body's telling him to 'stay asleep'. Maybe he just wants to see how Rhett interacts with the room when he's basically alone? Probably. 

Rhett doesn't interact with much, though. At least there's not a lot of time between the sound of the bags getting dropped off on their shared desk and the mattress dipping next to Link. 

"Hey, Link. I'm back," he whispers, and for whatever reason, Link still doesn't move. There's a hand on his shoulder that shook him a little, but the hand is gone now and instead there's fingers pushing Link's messy and sweaty hair off of his forehead. It's weird. God, it's so weird. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. It's nice. It's comforting. And a little embarrassing. He imagines opening his eyes and seeing Rhett look like a deer in headlights, but that'd probably make him stop what he's doing and that's the last thing Link wants. It doesn't matter, though, it's over all too soon. 

"Link. Eat." He says it louder this time, but only after he's stood back up and has a good amount of distance between them. 

Rhett doesn't wait for long after Link's eyes are open before he tosses him a burger and takes a chomp out of his own. 

"Bottom bunk's mine," he says with a shrug, and Link glares back at him. 

"That's funny. Cause it looks like I'm already here." He chews a little harder, just to make his jaw pop. Rhett hates that. Link thinks it's hilarious. 

"No, man. It's mine. I'll take it by force if I have to." 

"Kinky." Link grins, and finally Rhett does too, and it feels like they're on the road to recovery. 

"I mean it. That's my bunk. I ain't climbing up top, Neal." 

He takes a menacing step forward, and Link sets his half eaten food down, because he knows they're about to get physical and he doesn't want to ruin it. It's a good burger. Rhett leaves his on the desk before he takes another step and another and then he's at the side of the bed, bent down and peering in. 

"Last chance, brother." 

"Fuck you." 

Rhett smiles like he was hoping for that answer the whole time. He ducks his head below the frame and he's invading Link's space like no other, and normally Link would care, but this is a turf war, and he's not gonna give in that easy. 

Link kicks at Rhett's thighs, hoping to push him backward, but instead he falls forward on top of Link. It's a struggle as soon as skin touches skin, with Link trying to land an elbow against Rhett's ribs, and Rhett trying to pin Link's wrists down so that he arms are no longer a threat. 

There's a minute where Link thinks he's got this. He really, really does. He's got his feet pressed flat against Rhett's belly, and he's ready to drop him off the side of the bed like Scar to Mufasa. And Y'know, it's not a moment too soon. Link's only won a handful of times in the twelve years that they've been laying hands, and he's ready for a triumph. 

But then there's that gleam in Rhett's eye and Link's stomach sinks. 

"Hey, Link?" His voice is too calm. Dammit. 

"No. No, don't you dare." 

Link's teeth are gritted and his thighs are starting to burn with propping up Rhett's weight. 

"I'm-"

"No. Nonono." 

Link's fighting with everything his has to topple Rhett, but fuck, his legs are damn near a mile long and he's already got toes on the floor for balance. 

"Dead." 

"Get offa me." Link's pushing at Rhett's chest, and Rhett's just giddy. He's the victor, as always. 

"I would. But I can't. You know. Dead n'all." 

It's so fucking annoying that he's so calm. Link's struggling hard. He's mad. He's red and sweaty and fucking mad. But Rhett's having fun. 

"Rhett I swear to god." 

Rhett doesn't answer this verbally, instead he settled his weight down more and tucks his face in the crook of Link's neck. 

"I need the bottom bunk, bo." 

"Get off of me and give me a detailed explanation of why. And maybe I'll consider it." 

"Don't like heights." 

Okay, well, Rhett's being a little vulnerable now. Link guesses that's a start. 

"How's that my problem?"

"I'd do it for you. To keep you safe." 

Link's head is spinning. Rhett's voice is too soft to be teasing and it's really throwing Link off. That, coupled with the fact that Rhett still hasn't made a move to get up, it's just, like a lot, you know? 

"Okay." 

"You'll let me have the bottom?"

"Sure, Rhett. I'll top for you anytime." 

It's a stupid thing to say, but he just feels so awkward that he has to break the tension somehow. And he hopes the little suggestion is enough to get Rhett off of him. But it's not. 

"Hey, now. Don't tempt me with a good time." 

Link's mouth is dry. Why is he playing along? Usually by now Rhett would at least have been tongue tied, even if he tried not to show it. But he's still breathing normally and his voice is steady as ever. 

"You gonna get off of me anytime soon?" 

"Maybe I'll get off on you instead." 

Link's breath hitches and his body is as tense as anything. He doesn't like this, this joking around. It's making him really uncomfortable, and his face shows it. When Rhett looks at him he breaks out into a smile and finally sits up. Link scrambles from the bunk and busies himself with looking for his bedding. 

"Thanks, Link." 

"Yeah. Yeah no problem, brother." 

What the hell?


	3. Chapter 3

A month has gone by already. Link is shocked at how easy it was to fall into his daily routine; wake up, maybe grab a quick breakfast, class, break, more classes, lunch, home to study. It's a lot easier than he imagined, becoming accustomed to something so new. 

He doesn't mind that Rhett's dating the brunette from the first day, Amanda. She's alright, he guesses, if he has to think about her at all. But there's this thing, like, her voice is too high pitched, maybe? She's a little nasally, and he's not trying to judge anyone here, but, it's... not great. The way she giggles from the bottom bunk when she's over, it kind of is like sandpaper to his eardrums. Or fingernails on a chalkboard may be a better analogy? It doesn't matter, the point is, she giggles a lot. 

And Link gets it. They've only been dating for a few weeks. They're in a honeymoon phase. They probably haven't even made it past first base, maybe second if Rhett's played his cards right. And Rhett's a funny guy, Link can concede that much. So it makes sense that she spends a lot of her time doing that shrill little laugh. It's okay, really. But he wishes he could drown her out when he's studying or when he's trying to relax or when he's trying to watch tv. She's just, she's there a lot. She might as well pay for part of their dorm fees as much as she's there. 

But she kind of gets Rhett worked up while she's there. Link can hear them kissing, damn man, he's only a few feet away and he has ears. So she'll kiss him for way too long to be comfortable, and then she'll leave. And then Rhett, well, he's different? 

It's like the testosterone goes to his head and he's a little short with Link. He snaps a little too easily. He's too quick to resort to wrestling to get his way. And Link doesn't mind rough housing, he's used to it. They've done it since they were little. But it's just, just the idea of why it's happening? It makes Link feel a little weirded out. Rhett's, gosh, he's turned on? And it's making him a little crazy? 

Now, Link's a man, too. He understands having needs. He does. He's only eighteen and he's in his prime. He's in good shape. He's healthy and he has hormones. But, maybe being cooped up in a room with barely any ventilation and dim lighting is a little too close for comfort. Especially when Amanda leaves and Rhett focuses on Link. 

Link's glad that their friendship has remained in tact nonetheless. He's got a busy schedule and Rhett has a busy schedule. So even though things have changed, and maybe Link isn't quite as comfortable around him, he's glad that they're in it together just like Rhett promised. 

But right now, with Link sitting on the top bunk with his nose in a math text book, he wishes Rhett were far, far away. Like maybe at her dorm for a change? Maybe in his car or hell, even in the nearest pay by the hour motel. 

Because it's hard to read equations with the sloppy wet sounds of pent up frustrations going on. The lip smacking and the clothes ruffling and every now and then the little moans that Amanda lets out. They're just, they're loud. And they're distracting. And he's trying to concentrate. Maybe Rhett knows what he knows, but Link is studious, and he's taking it seriously. 

"God, you're so sexy," he hears Rhett groan, and then there's that cackle of a giggle, and his stomach bottoms out. 

And it's because it's gross. He doesn't wanna hear that. Things are heating up down there and when the bed gives a little jerk, he decides it's time to go. He'll go grab dinner or go for a walk or maybe even to the library. But he needs to be anywhere but where he's at, because it's just... he's overwhelmed and he's got a test coming up. 

He doesn't waste time in thinking about it, because if he did he'd probably get ticked off. It's his room, too. He shouldn't feel like an outsider there. But, whatever. It doesn't matter. Rhett and Amanda clearly need a bit of alone time, so he slides on his shoes, grabs a jacket and his book and heads for the door. 

"Goin' somewhere?" 

Link chances a look back, and Rhett's staring him down and Amanda's staring at Rhett and Link nods. There's a little frown on Rhett's face, but why should he care? He's got plenty of entertainment. 

"Gonna be gone long?" 

"I can be if you want me to." 

"Yeah. Maybe." 

Link bites his cheek but nods again anyway. Well, that put a damper on his night. It's normal for a guy to be jealous, right? His best friend is probably about to get lucky. Anyone would wanna be in his place. Maybe Link should take a stab at finding a girlfriend. 

Yeah, yeah he might just do that. Or at least he'll try to hook up with someone, but for now, he'll leave his room with a sick feeling in his gut and he'll go for a walk and go to the library.

It’s a little cooler outside than he expected, and he’s really happy he brought that jacket. It’s slung I’m in no time and his steps are a little quicker. It’s not all bad, though. The cool air is calming. It helps him think and while he’s still mad, he’s not fuming. He’s just thinking of when he can flip the script and make Rhett leave when he has a big test to study for. Make Rhett leave so he could... Gosh, is that what he’s doing right now? I mean, good for him, or whatever. It’s just, why now? Why with that girl? Link thinks she probably won’t even sound good when she’s moaning his name. 

He takes a table in the nearly deserted room surrounded by books. It’s late, but he should still have an hour or two before it closes. Will that be enough time? He laughs at the idea. Yeah, Rhett’s not gonna last that long. Living in a dorm, so close, well, you hear things. Things you have to be decent enough not to bring up the next morning. Decent enough if you’re the one doing it to keep quiet. Again, a man has needs. And Link knows Rhett’s needs are satisfied pretty quickly. So it’s a wonder why he’d ask for “a while,” of time. 

He reads over the material, writing down formulas on a scrap piece of paper he plucked from the information desk and tries to plug a few numbers in. It’s going okay, but he can’t help but think about what’s going on back in their room. It’s been nearly forty five minutes already. Would Rhett already be done? Would he be on top of her right now kissing her neck? Be inside her, maybe, even just his fingers? 

He wonders what that would feel like. The being inside Amanda, that is. Definitely, definitely not how Rhett would feel or how his mouth would taste. No, that would be obscene and sinful. Besides, Link chuckles, he’d probably taste like Big Macs and Dr. Pepper. And Link’s not a big fan of the cherry flavored drink. 

After an hour and a half, plus the fifteen minute walk back, he decides Rhett’s had enough time. If he’s not finished yet, that’s on him. He should learn better time management. 

He hopes the room won’t smell weird. Is that strange? He’s fooled around with a few girls in his time, and he’s never been put off by anything. Still, his buddies have said you can just smell sex in a room. It’s pretty gross and thinking about it makes him feel queasy. 

He comes to the closed door and gives it a gentle knock and listens closely. He doesn’t hear anything for a long while, so he knocks again. Maybe Rhett’s asleep, maybe he left. But finally he hears a quiet, “Come in,” and he does. 

The lights are off, but Link can see from the cracked door that Rhett’s awake and staring at him. He’s laying down on his side with his hands tucked up under his face and the whites of his eyes are shimmering until Link closes the door and feels his way around to drop his stuff and climb in bed. 

“You uh, have fun?” He asks from the top bunk, and he honestly doesn’t know what he wants his answer to be. 

“Didn’t fuck her, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

Well, that’s surprising. Link feels better, and he guesses it’s because he’s not getting left behind. Maybe he can be the first to do it and he’ll finally have something to brag over. 

“Went down on her, though.” 

“Oh. Cool. She... did she return the favor?” 

Why is he even asking this? He doesn’t really want to know. It’s just that, it’s been a good little while since he’d gotten one. He knows they’re good, and now he’s thinking about the last time his ex girlfriend did it in the truck while he was driving them to dinner. And it was just, he wants it again. 

“Na. She’s too good’a girl, I guess. Said she wasn’t ready for that.” 

“But she was ready for you to do it?” Link’s laughing now, teasing without saying anything. 

“Guess so,” Rhett laughs back. “Left me a little charged up.” 

Shit. This is exactly the type of thing Link’s been hating about her visits. Any minute Rhett’s gonna start getting bitchy and slinging words around like they don’t mean anything. 

“Why didn’t you take care of it?” 

Did he really just ask why Rhett didn’t jerk himself? Gosh, he’s thinking too much. He’s a little charged up, too, he guesses. 

“I was when you knocked on the door.” 

Oh. 

“Well... I can go again for a few.” Truth is, he doesn’t want to. He’s already stripped to his skivvies and he doesn’t wanna put his clothes back on just so Rhett can get busy with himself. 

“Or I can just do it anyway.” 

Link’s heart stops for a minute. Did he just? What? Now, it’s one thing to hear your roommate getting something done with himself, but again, there’s a line you stay behind. And that line is not acknowledging shit, from either party. 

“Can’t stop you.”

What is he saying? Rhett’s just being crass and Link’s basically giving him permission? Maybe he’s a little too heavy into thinking about his past forays, because honestly, he’s about ready to do it himself. 

There’s silence for a while. And then there’s not. There’s a little rustle of a blanket moving, and then there’s a little shaking of the bed. It’s happening, and Link is disgusted by how not disgusted he is by it. 

He hears a little whimper from below and that’s it. It’s too much. His hand finds it’s way around himself and moves quickly. If he’s going to do something this fucking weird it might as well be quick. 

There’s another noise, and this time it’s not a whimper. It’s a moan. It’s louder. And it takes too long for Link to realize that it came from him. He stops his ministrations, fully horrified that he let himself get so carried away, ready for Rhett to laugh at him and call him queer or something. But that doesn’t happen. 

Instead, Rhett moans, too. Just as loudly as Link did, and he can still feel the bed shaking. Okay, well, it’s alright he guesses, and keeps going. 

It goes on like that for a few minutes. Both unabashedly making noise. They’re feeding off of each other, like some primal dance that their hormones need the other for. Link’s hand gets faster as he gets closer, and judging by the sharp and short breath he can hear from Rhett, he’s close, too. 

Link hears a rumble of a word, deep and throaty and breathy. “Fuck,” and the sound of it. Oh, it does something to him and he’s spilling into his hand before he can even stop himself. 

His eyes are wide as he stares at the ceiling. His mind is racing and his heart is pounding. What the fuck did they just do? Are they even going to be able to look at each other again? Rhett probably hates him now. Thinks he’s into boys or something. That’s just great. 

“Night, Link. See you tomorrow, brother.” 

Link’s comforted by the words. He also understands their meaning. They’re not talking tonight. They’re not talking about this ever, and that’s just fine by him


	4. Chapter 4

It's Rhett's birthday. Well, no that's not exactly right. It's Rhett's birthday early next week, but there's a frat party not far from their dorm and Rhett wants to go. And he's been begging like a sick little puppy for Link to go with him. Link's not real sure why, because from where's he's sitting, with a perfect view of Rhett's tongue tickling Amanda's tonsils, he doesn't need Link there. 

He's pretty sure that Amanda's planning to go all the way with Rhett tonight. It seems like a perfectly valid gift for someone's nineteenth. It makes sense. Maybe Rhett wanted him distracted with the party so that they could sneak back to the room. Whatever, it doesn't really matter all that much, because Link has plans of his own. 

Link's a good looking guy. He knows this. He knows. He's got a thick head of hair and girls have been fawning over his eyes since the day he opened them. His body's in good shape, too. He's an active guy. And he's got a pout that's driven a lot of girls crazy. He's thinking he's gonna get a couple of drinks in him and he's gonna find one of those girls that, "Just loves that tall, dark and handsome," bullshit, and he's gonna take her home. 

He knows he should probably be a little more sentimental about the girls he bags, but he's got a fuck ton of pent up frustrations. And it's because day after day he has to watch Rhett on top of his girl and Link's just sitting there without anyone. He needs a girl. He at least needs a night. A night of not watching a woman so into another man. So yeah, Rhett can have the room.

It's not long into the party that Rhett's into his own thing, and Link's getting ignored anyway. He's making his rounds instead of sitting there like some fucking creep while Rhett's working on his foreplay right there on the couch. He's always been pretty social. He doesn't mind talking to strangers. And that's how he meets Tiffany. 

She's pretty. Real pretty. She's got blonde hair and blue eyes and her legs go on for miles. She doesn't seem to care that it's getting colder outside, cause that jean skirt is short. And coupled with her tight pink top, her assets are on full display. And we've established that Link's a man. He looks, okay. Sue him. But he's not indecent about it. It's not like he's just gonna go right up to her and grope her or something vile. So he plays it cool. He takes a page out of Rhett's play book and leans on the wall next to her, towering over her small frame like he's a god damn giant. He's powerful. 

She smiles and giggles at everything he says. She's twirling her hair around her finger and hanging on him like he was made to support her. He lets her, it makes him feel strong. There's a little something missing, like a feeling deep in his belly that grounds him to the moment. But that's not really important because the rest of his body is responding to her like it needs her. 

"So Link, you come here alone?" 

She asks, and he knows she's interested. She asked if he's here with anyone, but what she really means is, is he here with another girl. 

"Na. Just my buddy and his girl. They're off doin' their own thing. Lucky for me, huh?" 

He winks at her and smirks, and she bites her lip. Okay, so he's leading her on a little bit, sure, but he plans on following through if she'll let him. The way her fingers are dancing across his arms and she's looking him up and down tells him she's probably a loose one, but he'll at least let her pretend to be seduced. 

Then again, he probably looks a little loose, too. Like a stud that knows he's gonna take any girl he wants home, because that's how he feels. He doesn't know what's gotten into him, he just knows he needs to get into someone else. 

"How 'bout you, babe? You got someone waitin' on ya?" 

"No one important," she says. And he was right. She's a bad girl, but that means no strings and that's just what he wants. 

"You gotta room around here?" 

He's forward. Way too forward. And his mama didn't raise him like that and he feels bad, but he knows he'll be feeling really good really soon, and that's all that really matters. 

"I do. Maybe I'll show it to ya if you go get me a drink or two." 

He nods and tells her to stay put before he heads to the kitchen. There's punch bowls full of fruity cocktails that probably taste like cheap vodka and ass, but it's there and it's free. Hell, it's gotta taste better than the nasty wine he and Rhett tried to make. He grabs a cup and fills it up for her before he grabs a beer for himself. 

"Saw you talkin' to that girl. She's cute." 

There's a voice behind him and he doesn't need to turn around to know who it is. 

"She is. She's interested," Link grins back, and Rhett nods, though he doesn't offer a smile in return. 

"What about you? You interested, too?" 

"Like you said. She's cute, man." 

Link's getting a little impatient with this roadblock. There no reason that they can't talk about this later after Link's come back to the dorm. 

"I just think you should think this through a little first. It's a big deal... you know." 

Rhett's got a hand rubbing the sparse facial hair at his chin and the other clutches around a beer of his own. He's looking at Link like he's the biggest piece of shit player that ever was, and now Link's really irritated. But so is Rhett. He wants him to be safe. Who knows about that girl? She could be a psycho for all they know. Link shouldn't throw himself to someone that doesn't love him. 

"I'm a big boy, Rhett. I think I can make my own decisions on who I'm gonna fuck." 

Rhett takes a step back and has to remind himself to close his mouth. That's just, well that's a bit unbecoming to speak that way. He's making his decisions on "who to fuck," a little too lightly. He should wait. Really, he should. 

"So you're gonna do it, then?" 

"Long as she says yes, which she might not if you keep me hangin' round too long." 

"Alright, brother," Rhett says and puts a hand on Link's shoulder. "Be safe, okay? Just... be careful." 

He's doing that thing where his voice goes soft and Link doesn't need that right now. He doesn't need oh wise Rhett to tell him how to live his life. He's got half a year on Link, but Link's had just as many girlfriends. He's experienced. He's done things. Maybe not this much, but he's no square. 

"See you around." 

He shakes Rhett's hand off of him and leaves the room. That feeling in his stomach is there, the one that was missing, and he thinks it must finally be catching up to the events of the night. It knows he's got someone waiting on him. And it's about time that it catches up because he was a little worried, but now he's sure. 

"Missed you," she giggles and takes the plastic cup from him. "Thought you forgot about me." 

"Please. How could I?" 

She looks at him like she wants him real, real bad, and he takes that as his cue to move in on her. He kisses her and she tastes like Hawaiian Punch and alcohol, and it's not bad. She opens right up for him and he explores her mouth with his tongue just like he's done a million times before. Her hands are on his back and his neck and his chest and he's got his situated right on those little curves of her hips. 

"I feel like I need to tell you that I'm not lookin' for a relationship." 

He had to tell her. He did. She deserves to know. Hopefully it won't ruin his chances but he's decent. 

"I didn't ask for one." 

She doesn't take any more time before she's pulling him toward the front door. His hand is in hers, and he's ready. He only hopes it's not a long walk. 

And it's not. Just a couple of minutes with a few detours for her to get her hands all over him. And that's fine by him. He has time. 

She's got protection. She tells him so once he's already in her mouth and she's at such an angle that he's getting her ready with his fingers. She's a little loud, and that okay. That's good. He knows he's doing well. 

She scoots to the side to rummage through her drawers, and he sits propped on his elbows admiring. She's really, really pretty. But he's having second thoughts. And it's stupid. He should be happy about it. 

Back at the dorm, Rhett's already a little further in the process. He and Amanda didn't spend the time with foreplay. They'd done enough before and she was ready as soon as they stepped through the door. He's on his back and she's on top of him, rolling her hips and touching her chest and rubbing a hand through her hair. It feels good, make no mistake. But she's being... a little lewd? Like she thinks she's in a porno. And has her voice always been so high pitched? She's moaning his name and it sounds shrill. He's never really noticed before. And he'd be more in to it, really he would. It's just... is Link okay? He hopes that things are going well for him. 

And they are. His second thoughts went out of the window as soon as she rolled the protection along his length. She smirks at him, looking so good, and he grabs her and flips on her back and positions himself between her thighs. 

"You ready, baby?" 

The word feels foreign on his tongue. Like it was a word not made for her. Not when it came from him. But then again, they weren't planning on anything but tonight, so it's okay. 

She nods and he sinks in with a deep groan. Her hands are on his back, and he starts to move. Slowly at first. He doesn't want to hurt her. But soon she's moaning and he's really going for it. Her fingernails are digging into his skin, and he's fine with it. He sort of thinks it hot that he's gonna go home all marked up. He wants to show Rhett. To tell him, see, he can handle himself. He doesn't need Rhett's blessing or approval. Not for shit.

He walks home after kissing her good bye. They don't exchange numbers. He doesn't even know her last name. Doesn't matter. She ain't it and she ain't the one. She was sweet enough. Good lay, he guesses. But he can probably find a good lay anywhere.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to enterthetadpole for messaging me for literally hours and helping me a huge amount with this chapter!

He doesn't go to their room right away. No, instead he sits in the common area next to the lobby and gives Rhett a little more time. He doesn't know where he is or what he's doing, but he's a good friend and he doesn't want to barge in on anything, if there's even anything to barge in on. So, he sits down on the couch and stares mindlessly at the tv thinking about his night. 

He knows it's one he'll always remember. Probably every detail of it, too. And that sort of hurts in a way that he wasn't expecting. He was so quick to jump in to it. He didn't even think about when he would look back and this would be nostalgic. This is the story he'd tell his future wife when she would inevitably ask how he'd lost his virginity. Just some random girl at some random party. How could he tell his future kids that their body was important and to treat it really good if he didn't give himself the same courtesy? 

It's just... man, he needed it. He needed it and he's not going to feel bad about it. Still though, he's not sure why he needed it so badly. Why he needed to feel the soft skin and lips of a woman. Needed someone to literally look up at him make him feel big. He needed a distraction. 

Well, not a distraction. That's probably not the right word. Just needed company, maybe? Rhett's all over the place these days. And if he was gonna do it, Link might as well, too. Wait, that sounded a little weird. Scratch that. He just didn't want to be left behind. He's competitive. Well, not as competitive as Rhett, but he knew that Rhett would have bragged all morning long the next day unless Link had a counter story. 

But that's a really stupid reason to have done what he did, and he feels like a complete fucking idiot. And Rhett's going to tell him just that. He's going to say, "Remember, Link, remember when I told ya to be careful? I knew this would happen. Should have listened to me cause I know everything and I'm so smart and tall and handsome." The same old shit he's been spouting off about for the damn near thirteen years they've been friends. 

Or worse yet, maybe he'll say, "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry you feel that way." And maybe he'll look at him with those big sad eyes and Link's heart is gonna break into a million and a half pieces and Rhett's gonna have to help him up off the ground. Maybe he will no matter what he says. Because he made a mistake. And he hates himself. 

He's sad and he wants to go home. He wants to curl up and forget everything from today. He should have let Rhett stop him, but he was too proud. Too full of himself. And all of that fullness left him feeling empty. 

He settles back on the couch and closes his eyes. He'll sleep down here for a while. He's not ready to face Rhett. To see the look of disappointment on his face when he asks Link what happened and Link spills his guts. Because that's what he always does. And Rhett always makes him feel better, and Link hates it. 

There's a sharp knock to his shoulder and his eyes pop open, bleary and strained, but soon Rhett's face comes into focus. He's wobbling where he stands, and Link can smell the liquor on him before he even registers that he's not dreaming. 

"Why you... why you sleepin' down here, man?" Rhett blinks as he speaks, like he's not fully in control of his muscles. Link looks at the clock on the wall that reads well past four am, and it registers that two hours have passed since he fell asleep. 

"You drunk, buddy?" 

"S'lookin' that way, ain't it?" 

Link nods because, yeah. Yeah it's lookin' that way alright. He rakes a hand through his hair and stretches languidly, working his body to an almost relaxed state before he stands up and wraps an arm around Rhett's mid section and heads toward the stairs. No, not the stairs. The elevator. Definitely the elevator. 

"You just gettin' back from the party?" 

Link's patient with Rhett, supporting his weight and taking small steps so that Rhett can keep up. How he managed to make it here on his own is beyond Link, unless maybe Amanda helped him? 

"Where's your girl? She as hammered as you? You get her home alright?" 

He lets Rhett go to lean on the wall of the elevator, staying close just in case. Rhett wobbles as it shifts upward, and the lurch is a little too much for him. 

"Sh'wasn't with me. Walked her home awhile ago." 

"You went back by yourself? Why?" 

Rhett's face scrunches up and he's looking a little green around the gills. Thank god for an ensuite bathroom, though it's shared with two other guys. But this is college and if they can't handle puking then they came to the wrong place. 

"You gonna get sick?" 

And he's really hoping that Rhett says no, because if he does say yes, and it unleashes right here in this cramped space, or now, in the hall, he's gonna puke too. 

"No. Jus' wanna lay down now." 

It's a short walk and Link's glad when Rhett's sitting on his bed. He doesn't lay back and relax, instead he sits with elbows on knees and his head tucked low. Link leans against the desk and crosses his arms, just watching. His stomach hurts too, but there's not much that vomiting can help for him. 

"Why'd you go back to the party, Rhett?" 

Rhett scoffs and looks up, a heaviness to his lids that's got little to do with being drunk and tired. 

"Needed to let off some steam." 

"Yeah? Did it work?" 

Rhett shakes his head and takes a deep breath, as does Link and then he takes a seat next to him. He wonders if touching him would be okay. Just a hand on his arm or maybe his leg. He needs him, and it looks like Rhett might need him a little, too. He's done enough thinking tonight, he's not going to keep doing it. So he lays his head on Rhett's shoulder and he feels him tense up, but he doesn't move. So neither does Link. 

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I dunno, Link. I dunno." 

His voice is raspy and strained, and he's got a little bit of a tremble through his body. Link can't help but frown. He hates this night. He wishes they would have just stayed in and ordered a pizza. Maybe played a game or two. Watched a movie. Went for a fucking walk. Anything but go to that fucking party. 

"I'm here, Rhett. You can tell me if you want. But you don't have to. Just, I'm here. Okay?" 

"Did you fuck her, Link?"

Link sits upright again and plays with his fingers in his lap. He doesn't really want to think about what he did or deal with the lecture that he's going to get. But there's no point in lying. Even if Rhett's piss drunk, he'll know he's lying. He always does and he always has and he always will. 

"Did you?" He asks again, more persistently. 

"Well, you don't have to phrase it like that." 

"S'how you said it earlier, man. You did, didn't you?" 

"Well, yeah, Rhett, I did," he breathes, and then, "Did you?." 

Rhett groans, almost like he's in physical pain, and he curls in on himself a little more. He almost looks small, which, for a giant of a man, that's a difficult thing to do. And if he feels the way Link does, he understands. He gets it more than anything and he just wants to help him. So he does the only thing he can think to do, and he scoots back so that he's pressed up against the wall and pulls Rhett over to him. 

He's got Rhett's head pressed against his chest, with his left hand cradles at the nape of his neck and the other dragging up and down his bicep. 

"We shouldn'a done that." 

He's fully shaking now and Link hugs him tighter. Is it okay that they're this close? Ordinarily he wouldn't think so. But he's so hurt, and clearly Rhett is, too, and he needs this and they need this. 

"You're probably right. But no one really waits for marriage anymore. We'll get over it..." Link's trying to console him, but really, what can he say? 

"I don't care about marriage, Link." 

There's more than a crack in his voice now. He's sniffling and shuddering and Link it pretty sure he's crying. God, why would he cry? If he keeps it up then Link is gonna cry, too. And he's a man. He doesn't want to do that. But Rhett is, and Rhett's kinda manly, if Link has to think about it. Maybe it would be okay?

"Then what's'a matter, bo?"

Rhett pulls away and shifts to the other side of the bed, facing Link with folded legs and a gaze that avoids his. He folds his hands in his lap and sniffles again, but the sniffles fall away to heavy breathing and fat tears streaming his cheeks. 

"Rhett, seriously, please. Talk to me." 

Link's aching to touch him again, but he moved away for a reason, and it's clear that he doesn't the contact right now. 

"It shouldn't have been her. I wanted..." 

Rhett shakes his head and wipes at his face, mumbling something about needing to use the restroom before he moves to climb out of bed, and Link grabs his arm to stop him. He was starting to open up and now he's just going to leave like nothing is wrong? No. No, that's not how this works. It's not how it was ever supposed to work. 

Link gets this really, really strange feeling when Rhett looks at him again. Like Rhett’s about to drop a bomb on him and Link isn’t sure that he wants to hear it. He kind of thinks... no, no it’s stupid to think that Rhett means... no. Rhett’s just drunk. And Link’s heart is racing because he’s worried about his friend. And his palm is sweating because he’s hot and not because of anything else, okay?

"You wanted what, Rhett?" 

Rhett stays put, but he's still at an odd angle, but Link isn't giving up. Rhett's eyes glance at Link's hand, and then finally, mercifully, up to Link's own. There's an intensity in them, and Link's never seen that look before. It stops him, both physically and mentally, and all thoughts are gone as he studies him. 

"Just not her." 

"Is there someone else you had in mind?" 

Rhett doesn't say anything for a long while. There's a pause, a shift in the air and it's heavy and Link can't breathe. Rhett looks both so strong and so broken, and Link's never wanted to fix anything so badly in his life.

Link's eyes are scared, and Rhett hates it. He never, ever, wants Link to feel that way. He doesn't deserve it. He deserves everything. The heat from his hand is really all Rhett can think about, and why? It's not like this touch is anything different from anything else, is it? It's just one drunken guy being taken care of by his sober friend. No shame. It's okay. 

"I don't know what I want or who I am anymore." 

Rhett says the words before he can even fully understand them. And what does that even mean when he takes the time to think them over? He's never been so unsure of himself, and really, he doesn't even know what he doesn't know. What he does, however, is that he wishes the night wouldn't have gone the way it did; he would have rather been with Link. 

Well, wait, not been with Link. No, he doesn't want Link. Not that way. He likes women. He likes women. He likes women. He likes women. But if he were to like men, he'd probably like Link. 

No, that was stupid. And he's stupid and he's drunk. He's feeling sorry for himself and Link feels sorry for him too. 

"Oh, Rhett. Have you been feeling this way for a while?" Link tuts and grips Rhett's shoulder. 

"I don't know." 

"Do you want me to remind you of who you are?"

Rhett's not sure how he'll do that, but he nods anyway, and Link gives a little lopsided grin and opens his arms again. Rhett settles back just the way he was before, Link's hands, they're real soft as he rubs up and down Rhett's  arm. And then his back. It's soothing. There's this comforting familiarity to it even though it's totally new. 

"You're a guitar player. A basketball player. A good swimmer. Good at pitchin' tents."

Rhett sniffs again but there's a hint of a chuckle. And it's good. It makes Link feel a little better. 

"You're my best friend, man. Always have been. Always will be." 

"You're my best friend, too." 

"Don't I know it. I'd be offended after all'a this if you said anything different."

Rhett rolls his eyes, but Link can't see it. 

"Love you, brother," Link yells him and Rhett tenses up again like he wasn't expecting it. And that's because he wasn't. It's not like they've never said it. They did all the time when they were little. But it's less and less now, and it's good to hear. 

"Love you, too."

"Don't lose your self in this. You'll be fine. Y'hear me?" 

And Rhett does, and he nods, and Link squeezes him a little tighter and then pushes him away. Rhett sits up and wipes at his eyes again, and he's pretty sure that last of them have fallen.

"So, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... you okay? Y'know, with... the girl?" 

Link takes a breath and shakes his head, though he's not sure what to say. 

"I shouldn'a done it either. I know that. I dunno what got into me."

"Yeah, maybe. Not much we can do now though, is there?" 

And there's not. And they're just going to have to live with it. 

"We should probably get to know the next people we’re with a little better next time, huh?" Link asks and Rhett snorts. 

"Yeah probably. Only person I know well enough is you." 

He says it absentmindedly, so absentmindedly that he forgets to laugh, and he fucked up. Link looks at him with wide eyes and the bob of his adam's apple is strong and Rhett feels the flush of his cheeks creeping in. 

It's too late. Neither of them laugh and neither of them look away. Rhett scratches at his scalp and sighs. 

"I'm drunk." 

"Yeah, I noticed." 

"I should go to sleep." 

"Probably. Ya gonna?" 

"Id rather stay with you."

Link settles back, feeling uneasy and a little scared, but he's there. He's there because Rhett needs him to be and he will. Hey looks at him pleadingly, and Link sighs and rubs at his eyes with his palms. 

"What'a ya want now?"

He says it like he's annoyed, but his eyes sparkle and his cheeks are pushed up with a smile. 

"Lay here for a minute?" 

Rhett asks it and Link doesn't want to. It's weird. His stomach is weird and it's all weird. But he can't say no. Not when the whites of Rhett's eyes are still blood shot and his voice is still gruff with a stuffy nose. So Link does. His back is against the wall and he's on his side with his hands tucked under his face, and Rhett settles in a mirrored image. 

"Thanks Link. For everything. I mean it. M'sorry m'drunk and a mess." 

"Mhmm," Link mumbles, laying down is making him realize how tired he is. But he'll stay awake as long as he can. 

"I love you." 

Rhett tells him and there's Link's heart again. Beating away like it wants to be on the outside of his body. This is different. They'd already said it once and he's saying it again. Already. 

"I know, bo." 

He doesn't have it in him to say it again. It's too much to ask of him right now. Instead he offers a pat to Rhett's hip, and he's not really sure why he did it. Maybe because the way Rhett's laying, it's just sticking far up. Maybe. But that doesn't explain why he leaves it there or why neither of them look away until Link's eyes droop and he can't stay awake anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Link sits again with his back pressed to the painted concrete blocks that makes up their dorm wall, and Rhett's shoulder all the way down to his thigh is pressed against Link's. And it's warm and it's okay. There's a movie on, some action thing with a lot of shooting and some blood. Link looks away during those parts, focusing instead on the greasy piece of pepperoni pizza on his lap. 

Some things have changed, that's for sure. But he likes the changes; it helps him not to feel so lonesome anymore. The biggest thing is the contact. He and Rhett, since that first night, have spent a lot more time in bed together. 

Wait, no, no, not like that. It's like, okay, so imagine you're in this big black room, right? And there's not really any light and you can't feel anything except for the air around you. And even the air scrapes along your skin and irritates it. But then one day, there's this ball of light. Or, maybe a blanket? A soft blanket and you find it in the dark and then you feel a little warmer. And it gives you hope. Okay, so you found the blanket, maybe there's more to find, too? 

And that's why Link's spent way too many nights in Rhett's bed. He offered up his own, but Rhett doesn't like the height and with them squeezing in a twin frame, it's likely that one will fall off and get hurt. So, it was decided, that more often than not, Link would go to sleep on a pillow that smelled like Rhett. 

And it's been weird, yeah. It's not something that they're going to go broadcasting around. Like Rhett's not going to tell his girlfriend, and Link isn't going to tell his girlfriend if he decides he wants one. For now though, he doesn't. His last experience, gosh, it just put him off for a while, you know? It was hard, and he's glad that Rhett was willing to help him through it. And he's still helping him, even now, when Rhett's finished eating and he lays his head on Link's shoulder like it's natural and it's okay. Link doesn't care, because as soon as he swallows that last bite, he's gonna do the same and Rhett will think that's okay, too. 

It wasn't always this easy. The first morning they woke up together, the night after... you know, that night, Rhett had Link smashed against the wall and Link was uncomfortable. His back ached and his jaw hurt from the pressure. Rhett was snoring in his ear something fierce, and his disgusting alcoholic breath was washing over the back of Link's neck and giving him cold chills. 

He had to use his shoulder to nudge Rhett over, and when he did, Rhett fell to his back and his eyes, still bloodshot, popped wide open with a groan. He looked at Link, with a look that asked why he was there so close, and then he remembered. And he was embarrassed and a little ashamed at the way he'd acted. 

He got out of bed wordlessly and scrambled to the bathroom, and Link wasn't sure if he should stay there or move up a bunk. His indecision did him in when Rhett came back and Link was still in his bed. But Rhett only shrugged and settled in with his back against the headboard and his hands folded in his lap. He smelled much mintier. 

"You brushed your teeth. Thank god." 

"Yeah, now if only you'd do the same." 

He nudged Link's shoulder with his own and chuckled, a small but sad smile playing at his lips. 

"So. We slept together," Link said, and Rhett's eyes bugged like they were going to pop out. 

"Oh! No. Nonono. Like. We slept in the same bed," he amended, and Rhett let out a heavy breath. 

"Don't say shit like that to me when I can't remember half of the night." 

"I'm sorry. Wasn't thinkin'." 

"But yeah, we slept together," Rhett agreed. "Like when we were little and had sleep overs. Remember that? I loved those." 

Of course Link remembered. He loved them, too. 

"Our sleepovers as grown men were a lot more emotional, if I'm recalling correctly," Link joked, but Rhett didn't laugh. Instead he studied his fingers like they might do a magic trick and frowned. 

"You okay, Rhett?" 

M'okay. You okay?" 

"Yeah. I think so. I guess. I don't know. Last night helped," Link blurted, and almost immediately wished he hadn't. But Rhett only nodded. 

"Yeah. It did. You can, uh, if you feel like you need to or whatever. Sleep... down here. Again. If you want to." 

"You don't think it's weird? Two guys sharin' a bed? A little bed, at that." 

"I think you're weird, Link." 

"Be serious, man." 

"I don't know. I guess probably. But who cares? I don't if you don't." 

"I don't."

"Okay, then." 

And that was that. Link didn't sleep on the bottom the next night, but he did the one after that. He brought his own blanket and his own pillow so that they wouldn't touch so much, but it was uncomfortable. There was a big wedge of fabric that made the tiny space even tinier, and neither of them could move. That lasted for the next week, but Rhett suggested they just ditch the extra because the angle. The angle was hurting his back. 

Link slept in his own bed after he said it. Gave a little space. Let Rhett's back heal up a bit. Maybe the whole thing was silly and they shouldn't have even been sharing to begin with. But then the next night came and he was back on the bottom without the extra blanket. Rhett didn't mind so much when Link fell asleep and draped his arm around his belly, Link's front to Rhett's back. He also didn't care that Link's face was pressed in between his shoulder blades. Whatever, they're just two friends who need each other and have something to offer the other. 

Link wipes his face one last time and throws his paper plate and napkin in the garbage can next to Rhett's bed and leans back again. Rhett doesn't ask anymore, he just puts his hands and arms and head where he wants them, and that's cool by Link. It's nothing indecent, obviously. Clearly it's not. It's just Rhett's arm locked around Link's and Link's left leg thrown over Rhett's right. It's just Link's head on Rhett's shoulder and Rhett's head on top of Link's. It's just two guys watching a movie and nothing else. 

"Nervous for my math test tomorrow," Link mentions, and Rhett hums in response. "Should probably get to studying." 

"Probably," Rhett agrees, though you would never catch him doing the same.

Link sits up and Rhett frowns at the loss of his human pillow. And it's not because Link is so far away now, it's because he was comfortable and now he's not. Seriously, that's it. 

Link scoots to the edge of the bed, puts his feet on the floor and grins back at Rhett, and Rhett knows just what he wants so he smiles too and opens his arm out. Link falls back in, this time with his head on Rhett's chest, and Rhett's fingers threading through his dark hair. It feels good. Really good. It's so relaxing and Link doesn't ever want to leave. He thinks idly that most friends wouldn't do this. But friends who don't just aren't good friends. 

"Decided against it, huh?" Rhett teases and Link snickers. 

"Just for a minute. Realized how cold I was. It's warm here, though." 

And that's another thing, Link thinks. It's cold out. It's really, really cold. It's December and they're basically living in a cellar and it makes sense that they'd snuggle for warmth. Snuggle? Oh, no. Mmm, that's not the right word. Not snuggling or cuddling. It's... well that doesn't really matter. The point is it's not snuggling. 

"You callin' me hot, Link?" Rhett chuckles and Link scoffs. 

"You wish, brother." 

"Maybe I do. Tell me you think I'm hot." 

"Quit bein' so freakin' weird." 

Rhett's hand moves from Link's hair and jabs at his ribs and Link squirms around to get away. 

"Stop it. I hate... I hate being tickled," he breathes, but it's falling on deaf ears because the jabs have turned to full on ribbing, and tears are already in Link's eyes as he tries hard to fill his lungs. 

"Something wrong, Link?" Rhett swings a leg over Link's lap and straddles his waist, and now he can get both sides. 

"Rhe... plea... stop." 

If he doesn't stop Link is going to suffocate. Doesn't Rhett know that laughing from tickling is a panic response. Some chemical makes you do it or something like that, and so actually, Link is panicking. Rhett doesn't care though. 

"Tell me I'm hot and I'll stop." 

"Rhett!" 

"Go on..." 

"Okay, okay!" 

Rhett's hands stop but they don't leave Link's sides. He's ready to start back up if Link doesn't follow through on his end of the bargain. When Link doesn't say anything, his fingers twitch in warning, and again, Link tells him okay. 

Rhett stares down at him with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk that Link wants to punch away. Stupid asshole. Stupid big, dumb, asshole. 

"Rhett, you're hot. Now get the fuck offa me." 

"Why?" 

"Because I don't want you sittin' on me? I think it's a valid reason." 

"I dunno man, I could stay here." 

Link tries to buck him off, but he is an immovable fucking rock and it's so annoying. Rhett's so, so fucking annoying. 

"Why you wanna stay there so bad? You wanna just keep lookin' at me? Now who thinks who is hot?" 

"You're a good lookin' guy." 

Link freezes and Rhett's not smiling anymore. And neither is Link and they're both just sitting still and staring and it's awkward. 

"You think so?" 

And Link doesn't know why he asks it. There's about a thousand other questions, better questions, like can you get up now? But that's the one that came out and that's the one he's stuck with. 

"Yeah." 

"Why?" 

God, Link just can't shut his mouth, can he? Stop asking so many stupid questions and just tell him to get away or you'll kill him in his sleep, his brain is screaming at him. 

"Why? Like what about you?"

"Yeah." 

"Got really pretty eyes." 

"Oh."

And then they're quiet again and neither of them is moving, until they are. Or, well Rhett is. Just his hand. He strokes his thumb across Link's cheek where one of the tears has lost its hold on his lashes and started swimming it's way down his skin.  

And there's that feeling again in Link's guts. Like a burning twist that he can't tell is good or bad. Well, it's bad, actually, because he knows that Rhett shouldn't touch him like that, but he is and Link hasn't stopped it and he doesn't understand why he hasn't. 

He does the same to Link's other cheek, though he can't feel any wetness there, but maybe there is. How should he know? He can't see it. And for some reason he feels like he should move too, so he puts his palms on Rhett's thighs. Just on top of them, nothing like that. It's just a place to rest, really. 

Rhett sits straighter and his hands are on Link's chest for support, Link's still where he left them. 

You should know that Rhett's not too sure what he's doing, either. He just knows that he's here and Link's there and that's that. But he meant it, what he said. Link's handsome. No sense in denying it. It's just a fact. But it's not like he thinks Link is sexy or anything like that. Rhett likes women. 

"You should probably study, huh?" 

As soon as Rhett says it he regrets it because the trance is over and he's not sure if he wanted it to be. He's not sure why he wouldn't want it to be either. He's not really sure of much it seems, and that, well that's frustrating. 

"Yeah. Can you get off of me now?" 

And he does. He goes back the way he came and sits back down and Link's up in a flash and gathering his books like his life depends on it. 

"Think I'm gonna go to the library. Just need some fresh air. Maybe you should go see Amanda or something?"

"Yeah. Maybe I will." 

Link's hand is on the door knob when he hears Rhett call his name, and he doesn't want to turn around, but he does anyway because it's Rhett. And they're friends. Best friends. And they talk. They communicate and that's just it. 

"Yeah?"

"We okay?"

Rhett's eyes are wide and wild and he looks sad and scared. And Link hates that. Hates when Rhett looks anything but happy. 

"Course we are. Why wouldn't we be? I'll see ya later, brother."

Studying is proving to be fruitless. Link can't focus to save his damn life. His pencil to the paper is only drawing squiggles and he's done. He's over it. He's going back to the dorm and he's just going to deal with... whatever that was back there. Whatever. They're fine. They said so before he left. 

He spends the walk back with his eyes on the side walk and the hand that doesn't have a book in it is shoved in his pocket. He's thinking about Rhett again, and that look he had. That intensity that's pretty much unmatched. Fuck, it was insane. And he was insane for sitting there and letting Rhett sit there. He wondered if he had the same expression as Rhett in that moment. Maybe he'd ask one day. But probably not.

Rhett's not there when he gets back, and he's not too sure if he's relieved or upset by it. He tells himself not to dwell on it, to let it go and to just... fucking... stop thinking about him. To climb up in his bed for a change and go to sleep like a grown man. So he goes through the motions. He changed into a loose pair of basketball shorts and rips his shirt off. He brushes his teeth and drinks a glass of water before he finally settles in. 

He feels too far from the floor. But Rhett's not there and it's probably because he needed a little space. Link's not going to do something presumptuous like sleep down there without him. That would come off as a little... desperate? Psychotic? So, no, he stays in his own bed and lets the loneliness creep in. And eventually he falls asleep, cold and worried. 

He wakes up sometime later as he's scooted over. But that doesn't make sense, because he's on the top and he's alone in the room, and for a quick minute he's afraid. He sits straight up, ready to fight or flight, when his wrists are grabbed and Rhett's voice is telling him to calm down. 

"Rhett? What're you doin' up here?"

"Well, I definitely wasn't tryna get my ass kicked. You gonna move or what?" 

Link does. He scoots as far over as he can and Rhett climbs up. He pushes pretty close to Link because he doesn't want to look down and see the floor a good five or more feet away. 

"Why're you up here?" 

Link asks again, and it's a stupid question, Rhett thinks. 

"Because you're up here. Why didn't you get in my bed?" 

"Because you weren't here. Why would I?"

"You knew I'd come home eventually." 

Link's really, really tired. He was asleep, sure, but it wasn't like it was a good sleep. He wasn't warm enough and he was alone and it was just, fitful or something. But Rhett's there now and he's on his back and Link lays his head on his chest. Rhett's arm wraps around his back and he smoothes the covers over them before he starts tracing invisible lines against Link's bare skin. 

It feels good. Actually, it feels really good. But it's new because he's always had a shirt on and so has Rhett. Rhett still has one on, and Link thinks passively of telling him he can take it off, but he doesn't. 

"Where'd ya go? 'Manda's?"

"Yeah."

"You have a good time?"

"It was okay. Fucked her." 

"Did you find what you were looking for?" 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Link wishes he hadn't brought it up, so he decides not to answer. How would he, anyway? Is he just supposed to come right out and ask it? What's he even thinking about anyway? Ask what? But there's that little piece of his brain that's changing everyday and he knows Rhett's is changing, too, because Rhett's in his bed after he fucked his girlfriend. That sort of says something, doesn't it? 

The realization hits him like a fucking bulldozer. He was skirting around thinking it all along. And this is bad, and he's nauseated. This is bad. This is really, really fucking bad and his eyes start to prickle with the threat of tears. Oh no. Oh god, please, please no. 

"What's that supposed to mean, Link?"

There's accusation in his voice, and it's a little louder than Link would have liked. His head is off the pillow and even in the dark Link can feel Rhett staring daggers at him. 

"I don't know, Rhett. Go to sleep."

Please, please just go to sleep and forget everything. Better yet, please Rhett, please, please go to your own bed. Please don't ever touch Link again. Please don't ever look at him like you looked at him earlier. 

Link's fighting so hard not to cry. He's fighting so fucking hard and he's so tired and he wants to go home. He wants his mom to tell him to stop being so silly. He wants his dad to tell him he needs him all summer to help with a few construction jobs. He wants and he wants. And that's the problem, isn't it? He's starting to want too much. 

"Link."

"Please, Rhett. Just shut up." 

There's a hitch in Link's voice, a little crack in the 'u' of up, and Rhett lays his head back down. His fingers resume their little movements on his back and Link hopes, Jesus Christ, he hopes there's no more conversation. 

"Don't cry, Link." 

Link's not sure how he thought he could hide it. He's practically laying on top of him, of course he'd feel him shake as he tried to breathe. Of course he'd feel the wetness on his shirt.

“Something is... wrong here.”

“I know.” 

Rhett’s agreeable admission only makes Link cry harder, he’s clutching at Rhett’s shirt like he wants the fabric to shred to pieces. And maybe if it did Link would shred Rhett’s chest, too. Because he hates him and he wants to hurt him. He wants to make him bleed because he’s making Link bleed. At least that’s the way it feels. 

“Why’d you have to fuck her?” 

Add that to the list of stupid questions he’s asked for the day. Is he ever going to learn to just shut the fuck up? Just once. 

“I don’t know.” 

And Rhett, god, he’s just so sweet. He says it like he feels ashamed. Like he did something wrong. He didn’t. It’s his girlfriend. It’s what people do. 

The back and forth in Link’s head is giving him fucking whiplash. He hates Rhett for making him feel this way. 

“Why don’t you ever know anything?” 

Link’s practically wailing now, and he feels ridiculous. And Rhett should feel like Link is ridiculous and tell him to shut up. He should probably tell him they’re not friends anymore and he never wants to see him again. It would be best for both of them. 

“Shh. Please don’t cry, come here.” 

Rhett drags Link’s body on top of his own, with Link’s knees pressed down on the outside of Rhett’s, their chests perfectly aligned, Link’s face in Rhett’s neck and Rhett’s arms clasped behind Link’s back. And he lets him cry. And he cries, too. They’re both crying and Link is pretty sure he’s dying. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Rhett.” 

“I know.” 

“Do you feel it?”

Link doesn’t have the strength to say it. He can’t even think it, and he won’t think it. He’s going to ask this one time and he’s never going to ask again. If Rhett doesn’t understand then he’s not explaining it. 

“...Yeah.” 

Link’s full on sobbing now and Rhett holds him tighter. He hates Rhett. He hates Rhett so much and he wraps his arms around Rhett’s neck and hugs him so close that they both might break. 

They stay like that for a long while. Long enough to cry themselves out and find a new, steady rhythm of breathing. They stay like that long enough for Link to think that maybe his muscles might not ever work the right way again, but they can’t stay like that forever. 

“You should probably sleep in your own bed. And me too from now on,” Link tells him, but still he doesn’t move. 

“I know.” 

Rhett finally knows something and it’s the last thing Link wanted him to know. He almost wanted him to disagree, but it has to be this way. Because Link hates Rhett and Link hates himself. 

Rhett squeezes once more, harder than even before, and then gently rolls Link off of him and lays him against the pillow. He stays there, hovering over him for just a moment, and then he jumps down and Link can hear the sound of his blankets rustling and then he hears nothing. 

Link's not really tired anymore. But it's late, it's really late, and he has that test tomorrow, so he tries to sleep anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Slight homophonic language, not directed at anyone. Mentioned in passing.

Link sits on the top bunk with his blanket wrapped around his body and head like he'll never be warm again. He's shivered himself half to death, and while the book in his hand is being read for pleasure rather than studying, he can't bring himself to concentrate on it. It's not like he doesn't want to read it, and it's not like he's listening in to Rhett and Amanda's conversation from below, it's just that... the cold. 

And maybe he's listening to them a little bit. Sue him. They're in a cramped space, and normally he would request that maybe they find somewhere else to be, he doesn't really want Rhett coming home with frost bite because, ew, even just the thought of seeing blackened fingers makes him queasy.

They're talking about Christmas. About how she'll be going to mass with her parents that day, but after, maybe a little later she and Rhett can meet up and find some mistletoe. She only lives a few cities over, just a couple of hours. And she'll miss him, she'll miss him soOoOo much. And please baby, promise you'll come see me? 

Link cringes and rolls his eyes. What a fucking idiot. Does she think that Rhett likes that kind of talk? He knows Rhett thinks it's just as pathetic as he does, but Rhett laughs anyway and tells her that he'll miss her really bad, too. Link scoffs. He freezes, and hopes they didn't hear him, but it doesn't seem like they did. 

"We don't have to wait for mistletoe. I can just kiss you here," Link hears in Rhett's voice, and his stomach sinks so low in his belly it might just fall out. What an image. Disgusting. 

Even more disgusting is the wet sloppy sucking sounds coming from Rhett's bed, and they're kissing. Jesus fucking Christ. Can he just not? 

Link thought he hated Rhett, but he was wrong before. But it's true now. Rhett's a fucking asshole and Amanda's a fucking bitch and Link can't stay there any longer. He'll wonder the halls if he has to. He'll fucking hop in his truck and find a back road and a country station and he won't come back til well past dawn. 

He's resolved to go, and he whips his blanket away when he hears Amanda's soft sigh followed by her asking, "Maybe I could meet your parents during the break?" 

Link doesn't hear an answer from Rhett and he doesn't want to. Things between them are getting too serious too fast if you ask Link. He'd rather not be party to the whole thing, and he starts playing a song on a loop in his mind to drown out the sound. 

'I'm on the highway to Hell.'

It's not the way the song goes, he knows. He skipped the whole first verse but he's trying to turn up the volume in his head and mute the volume in his ears. He's got a hoodie on now with his hood protectively covering his hair and ears, and he puts a coat on over that for a little bit of extra warmth. 

'My friends, they're gonna be there toOoOo, whoa!' 

His boots are slipped on and he's out of the door without saying good bye. The imagined music worked, he didn't hear shit and he didn't want to, so good. 

He forgot his gloves, and fuck, was that a mistake. His steering wheel might as well be made of ice, but whatever. It's fine. He can handle it as long as he can get the hell away from here for a while.

His foot seems like it's made of lead as he speeds past barren trees and empty fields. The more distance he gets the better he feels and hell, he may just never go back. It's not like Rhett needs him. He's got his girl and she'll meet his parents, and maybe Jim and Diane will be happy that he's hanging around a girl now instead of Link. Maybe they won't have to worry that their son is closeted and they'll take comfort in knowing that Rhett's gonna get married, to a woman, and he's gonna have babies and live that American dream. 

And now Link wishes he wouldn't have even considered the word gay, because now that's all he can think about. Gay, gay, gay. Queer. Homo. Fag. He hates it. Hates the words. Hates the way they sound floating around and bouncing in his skull. He wouldn't say them out loud. They're hateful and he doesn't want to be that way. 

And why is he thinking about it anyway? It's not like he's gay. No. He's not sure what he was feeling the other night, but it definitely wasn't anything like that. Maybe just felt a little too close to Rhett, that's all. His brotherly love came on a bit too strong. Like maybe he couldn't tell where he stopped and Rhett started for a moment? 

And Rhett must have felt that way, too. Rhett's not gay, either. Rhett had literally just gotten done being with a woman, for fucks sake. They'd only grown too dependent on each other, and that was that and that's all. There isn't more to the story. 

Link's hadn't realized he was crying until a tear rolled over his top lip and his tongue was met by a burst of warm salt. He wiped he face quickly and huffed. Why. Why in the god damn hell was he always crying? It's all he seemed to do anymore. He's not a pussy. He's not. He's a man and men shouldn't cry like this unless their mama dies. So why can't he keep himself in check?

He's just overwhelmed, he reasons. The stress of the holidays and school. And he'll be going back home soon for winter break. And it'll be good and it'll be better. He'll get to see his mom and she always makes him feel better. He'll sleep in his own bed in his own room and he'll be able to breathe because he won't be thinking about crawling down and climbing in next to him. 

The sun dips down past the horizon and Link is thankful for the shroud of darkness. The light was just dead weight hanging off of him, but in the dark, he feels light and free and alone. But not alone in a bad way. Alone like he has the ability to surround himself with whom ever he wants. And he'll find someone and he'll forget all about this. Even though there's not really anything to forget. 

It's getting late and he decides to head back. By the time he gets home Rhett should be asleep and Amanda should be gone. At least he hopes that's the case. He's not in the mood for company and he's not in the mood for anything but sleep. 

He gets back quickly, it seems. Or maybe he just wasn't ready and he's dreading it. And it's just so incredibly stupid that he's dreading it. I mean, it's his home. At least temporarily. He should want to be there. He should want to see his best friend. But he doesn't. 

The room is dark, but as he opens the door and lets in a sliver of light, he can see that the bottom bunk is empty again, and he's not sure if he's glad or mad or sad. Whatever. Doesn't really matter. He doesn't bother with the light, just strips down to his underwear (fuck the cold, he wants to be comfortable) and climbs the ladder to his bed. And then pauses. 

Well, there's definitely someone there. He hears their breathing, and he knows it's Rhett. And dammit, they decided against this. Especially now. Why, why, why is this always happening to him? He can't catch a fucking break and he's fucking over it. He climbs back down, and just as his foot his the floor he hears a rustling, and then; 

"Where you goin'?"

"Uh, your bed, I guess." 

He doesn't offer any further explanation, just climbs in and covers up and Rhett's sweaty sleepy smell washes over him and turns his stomach. 

There's a noise from above, a shaking of the bed, and then Rhett's settling in next to him, tucking himself under the covers and facing Link. His leg brushes Link's and, gosh, he doesn't have shorts on either. Link hopes he's decent enough to have his boxers on. 

"We agreed we weren't doing this anymore, Rhett." 

He can't keep the bite out of his voice, that edge that says don't fuck with me. 

"You left earlier. Where'd you go?" 

Rhett's always deflecting. He can't ever keep a steady stream of conversation. Always quizzical and it's so damn irritating. 

"For a drive. Why were you in my bed?" 

"Was waitin' on you."

"Couldn't do that from down here?"

"I missed you too bad." 

Nononononono. Why? Please. 

"Don't say that," Link pleads. 

He really, really needs for this to not happen or he's going to do something stupid. Something stupid like what, Neal? His brain asks, go ahead and finish that thought. I dare ya. 

"It's true."

"You need to leave me alone." 

"S'at what you really want?" 

"It's what I really need." 

"But it's not what you want. And it's not what I want. So I'm not, man. I'm not ever goin' to. Less you make me. Are ya gonna make me, Link?"

"Why're you doin' this to me, Rhett?"

"Because I-"

"Please don't answer that."

"Fine." 

"I'm going back up to my bunk now," Link tells him, but Rhett's hand is pressed flat against his chest before Link can even think of moving. 

"Please don't."

There's this war going on inside of Link. A civil war being fought between his head and his heart and it's nasty and bloody and there's probably irreparable damage being done and he's powerless to stop it. He just wants one or the other to prevail so... no, he wants his head to win. He needs his head to win because if his heart does... then it changes everything. And he, fuck, he can't let that happen. His soul hurts. 

"Link, please," Rhett whines again, and Link swallows thickly and lays back down. 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I said yes. God damn, now will you just shut up?" 

Link's so fucking mad at him. They've been friends since before he lost his first tooth and he's never been so fucking angry at him. Not ever. But he is now and he doesn't know if he'll ever get over it. Because Rhett, ugh, Rhett was already practically a part of his dna. Was that not enough for him? He had to claim... try to claim other parts of him, too? Like the hand that Rhett's reaching for and twining his fingers with. 

"I can't do this, Rhett. I'm just going to pretend like whatever is happening isn't, and I'm far away from here. I don't know what it is exactly that you want from me, but I'm telling you no." 

It's too far out in the open for him to lie to himself and say it's nothing, because clearly it is. But he can deny it and will it to go away. And if Rhett tries hard enough, he can, too. 

"I don't want anything from you. I just want you to stay there. Just stay there and be there when I wake up in the morning. Can you do that for me? Can you?" 

Rhett's voice is strained and he's speaking so fast that Link can hardly keep up. His head is spinning. He's dizzy. He's tired and exhausted and worn out. 

Rhett's full of energy. Nervous energy and it's not like he can just get up and move away from Link and go for a jog or something. His body is practically glued to the spot where it touches Link. Their hands, their knee caps that are just barely brushing past each other. 

He hates it too, you know. He doesn't like it anymore than Link does. But why should he beat up his feelings and pack them away like they don't matter? Because they do. They're real and they matter and he's not ashamed of himself for it. He wishes Link wouldn't, either. He wishes he could tell Link. But Link won't let him. 

"I'll be here," Link reassures him, because where else would he go? 

"Promise me."

"I promise." 

Link's quiet for a minute and so is Rhett, and Link knows it shouldn't matter but he has to ask. 

"Are you bringing her home for Christmas? To meet your mom and dad?" 

"No."

Oh. Well. That's not what Link was expecting. 

"She really wanted to, Rhett."

"Yeah, she did. And I told her no." 

"Why?" 

"You know why." 

"You gonna break up with her?" 

"No." 

"Why not?"

"You know that, too."

Fuck, does he ever. She's a perfect distraction. She comes over, sucks his face and maybe fucks him, and she's not Link. She's anyone but Link. And that's what Rhett needs because he can't have him. 

"Yeah. I do. Is she mad? About Christmas?"

"Yeah, but not at me." 

"What?" 

"She's mad at you. Said you're always hoggin' up all my time. F'only she knew the half of it," Rhett chuckles, but Link hates it. He's doing a lot of hating lately. 

"It's not funny, Rhett. You shouldn't laugh at that." 

"I know." 

And yet he's laughing harder. His belly shakes and convulses and it's a silent scream of a laugh, and soon Link's laughing, too. It's so stupid that it's funny. That poor, poor girl. She doesn't deserve Rhett. She deserves better. 

"So, Rhett. You gonna take me home for Christmas?"

Link says it as a joke, and only after he realizes that it was a step too far. He feels guilty; having just told Rhett to stop talking, and here he goes, egging him on like it's nothing. 

"I'd take you anywhere, Link."

"Oh."

What's he supposed to say to that? Is he supposed to say oh, yes please! Let's leave and never come back! Or should he say get the fuck away from me? He doesn't know. 

"I really did miss you earlier. Can I say that now?" Rhett asks. Softly, so delicately like Link is made of glass and his words are a lava hardened stone. 

"No." 

"Well can I tell you that I thought about you the whole time you were gone?"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't." 

Even as he says it, he knows it's a lie. He wants to hear it, but he doesn't, too. There's a part of him that maybe wants to hear it everyday. How easy would it be to give in to that? But he won't. And he can't. 

"Am I allowed to tell you anything, then?"

"Not if it's suggestive." 

"Suggestive of what, Link? What do you think I'm alluding to, here?" 

Link's palms are sweating, and it should be obvious to Rhett since he's still holding Link's hand like he might float away if he lets go. 

"Come on, Rhett. You know."

"No, I don't. You said you didn't want me to tell you anything. So I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Okay. Thanks, man." 

"I am gonna tell you, though, that I don't have clothes on other than my boxers. Doesn't seem like you do, either. So do with that what you will. Night, buddy."

He rolls away from Link, leaving him flustered and scared. He turns away too, determined to sleep back to back.


	8. Chapter 8

"You 'bout done, yet?" 

Rhett's impatient as he waits for Link to pack up his suitcase. He's taking forever. Like, a really long time. He's folding his shirts so meticulously like he never wants them to get a single wrinkle. It's sort of cute, or rather, it's okay. He doesn't need to dwell on it. Doesn't matter anyway. 

Still though, he can't help but watch the way Link bends over to grab something from the bottom drawer of his dresser. Or the way he bites his lip when the lines don't match up just right. 

"Whatcha lookin' at, buddyroll?" 

Link's smirking and Rhett can feel heat creep up his neck and taint his ears a deep red. He's been too busy looking elsewhere to notice eyes on him. 

"Nothin'." 

It's weak and they both know it. But it's not like he can just say, oh! was just lookin' at your ass! Sure looks nice in those sweats! 

"Sure, sure."

It's strange, the difference in Link the past week or so. He's just... well, he blushes a lot. And he stutters over his words like his mind is real, real foggy, but he's... okay? Does that make sense? He's alright with Rhett touching him again, and that's something. 

And even now, when Rhett got caught red handed, Link just grins and goes back to that same bottom drawer. It's almost like he's daring Rhett to look. Like he doesn't care and Rhett can do what he wants and Link is just going to let him. 

It's a bit of a mind fuck, if we're being honest with ourselves, here. Like, what does he even want? Where's that fine line between doing and not doing? Where ever it is, Rhett's straddling it and Link needs to either shit or get off the pot so that he knows which way to lean. 

"Didja get me anything for Christmas?"

"What'a ya want, Link?"

Link smirks again and zips up his luggage, finally finished and saunters over and plops down on Rhett's bed next to him. 

"Hmm. Diamonds? Gold bricks? Emeralds and rubies? A servant at my disposal?" 

"Yeah. Okay. How about a happy meal from Mickie D's? That's about where my budget's at." 

Link snorts a laugh, and Rhett's happy that after all these years he still thinks he's funny. He still thinks Link is pretty funny, too. Not that he'd tell him that. 

"How about you Rhett, what do you want?" 

"Depends on how much you're plannin' on spendin'." 

Link presses a finger to his lips and looks up, Rhett assumes he's thinking of how much money he has and how much of it he can spend. 

"Uh, probably the same amount as you," he laughs. 

"Hmm. I guess I'll take... I'll take a blow job." 

Rhett doesn't really know what he's saying. He's just pushing the envelope for the sake of pushing it. He's expecting Link to stammer, to tell him to s-stop bein' s-stupid, m-man. But he doesn't. Instead he gets this look like he's the devil and he's been just sitting on his throne of flames and waiting, just waiting for Rhett to say something like that. 

Link actually has been waiting for this. He's resolved to put an end to it once and for all. If Rhett wants to keep saying this bullshit, he's gonna spit it right back at him and Rhett will see how fucking ridiculous he's being. Link's normally one for fighting fire with water and soothing words, but so far it's proven fruitless, and he's going to fight Rhett's candle with a fucking flame thrower. 

"Oh, you do, huh?"

Link's up on his haunches now, and he's crawling over to Rhett like he's a fucking lion on the prowl ready to attack the waiting gazelle that is Rhett. He's biting his lip and he's looking so intensely at Rhett that Rhett thinks he might just fucking explode. 

Link's wracking his mind for something to say. Something so lewd that Rhett forgets how to speak. Something that'll make him think, welp, yeah, that settles it, I only want women to say that to me. He's thinking of telling Rhett that he'll trade one for one, but that's not... that's not really good enough. 

"You want my hot, wet mouth wrapped around your cock?" 

That'll do it, he thinks. 

Okay, so, the thing is. It's, it's. Um. Wait a second. Hold on. Where were we? Oh, right. The thing is, Link doesn't usually... say... things... like that. And um, he just, well, he doesn't. He just doesn't. 

"What are you doing?" 

Okay, so Rhett's been pushing and pushing but he never really expected any push back. And he's a little uncomfortable. But he's a lot excited. 

Link's heart is beating like a bass drum in a quick tempo'd metal song, but he can't stop now. That look of fear in Rhett's eyes, oh, it's worth it. Any minute now Rhett's gonna crack and Link's gonna be victorious and everything will go back to normal. He thinks. He hopes. Maybe. 

"Somethin' wrong, bo? You're actin' a little skittish," Link purrs, and then there's a finger dragging along Rhett's thigh. Down by his knee, not any higher. It's leaving behind electricity, and even once it's moved he can still feel it's weight. 

"What are you doing, Link?"

He asks again, and he really, like really, needs to know. Because there's this tingle starting to happen, you know, down south, and he needs to get the fuck out of there if this isn't okay. Link's just, god, has he always been so fucking filthy? And have his eyes always been this blue? His mouth so pouty? 

"It's a simple question, Rhett. I'd like for you to answer it." 

A simple question?! A simple fucking question? What the hell does he mean a simple question? I mean, obviously, yes, he wants that. I mean, fuck. But if he says yes is Link gonna head for the hills? Probably. 

"I... am not sure what to say..."

Link's smirk turns into a full blown grin and he sits back up and pulls away from Rhett, and he's won. He made Rhett realize that he was being stupid, and now they both can move on from this... whatever it is. 

"I knew you were all talk." 

All talk? Excuse me, what? It's taking all he has to keep the blood in his brain, and sadly it's becoming a losing battle, so he sits up and folds over on himself a little, hoping to hide the evidence. 

"Link, I really don't know what's going on here, man." 

"I just wanted to show you how ridiculous it is when you do shit like that. You're always sayin' weird shit. Doesn't it make you feel weird when I say it back?"

No, ugh, the confused frown that takes over Rhett's features is decidedly not what Link wanted. He wanted fear. He wanted anger. He did not want Rhett to have to think it over. 

"Not... really, no."

God dammit. What does Link have to do? Strip his clothes off and fuck him? Wait, wait, wait. What? No. Oh Jesus fuck, no. Now he's got that image of Rhett on his back and his eyes are rolling around in their sockets like little green marbles and his mouth his open and. And. And. Stop. Stopstopstop. Link's brain is about to fry itself to a fucking crisp. Why in all of God's green earth would he have thought that? 

"What? You mean you're okay with that?"

Doesn't matter if he's okay with it. Full stop. 

Okay, no, answer it. 

"There ain't much you could do to... what is this, again? You tryna skeve me out? Not gonna happen, brother." 

Okay, so Rhett's not trying to bait him into anything he doesn't want to do. Really, he's not. He's a good, well, he's a decent guy. And Link's a good boy, too, and he doesn't do things he doesn't want to. He's stubborn that way. But if Rhett just so happens to say something and it makes Link want to do something, then, well, so be it. 

"You think I can't give you the creepy crawlies?" 

"Oh, ho-ho, creepy crawlies? What are you, five?" 

"Shut up, Rhett. I'm serious."

Well, fuck. Now Link's competitive side has activated and he can't very well back down, now can he? And what if Rhett reciprocates and he's trying to freak Link out, too? You know what, in the spirit of competition. Bring it on. What? You heard me. 

"So am I. And no, there's nothing you could do to creep me, man. Face it, I've got an iron gut." 

"Wanna make a bet?"

It's too late now, Link can't back out. 

And Rhett is most definitely game. 

"You're on."

"Okay. Rules-"

"Rules? There's rules in a game where we're making the other uncomfortable? Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose?" 

"Shut up, Rhett. How many times do I gotta say it before you do it?"

"I don't know. A lot more, I guess. So, the rules... go on."

"Okay. Uh. No kissing?"

"You're gonna have to remind yourself of that by the time I'm through with ya," Rhett winks, and Link's cheeks flare up. "Anything else?"

"Um. Yes. No... no touching dicks."

"Like touching them together?"

"Oh, gosh, Rhett. No. Just. Touching dicks in general. I don't touch yours, you don't touch mine." 

"Again, you're gonna have to tell yourself that. Cause I'm gonna make you so fucking hard it hurts." 

Oh, dear lord. Has it already started? Because, fuck. Maybe Link won't win this. But he's gonna try, if only to wipe that smug ass look off of Rhett's face. 

"Winner gets to smack the loser in the face?" Rhett suggests, and it's perfect, because that's just what Link wanted. 

"Can't I jut smack you in the face anyway?"

"You can try. But I'll come back at you twice as hard." 

"Okay, okay. Do you have any rules you wanna add?" 

"Uh, yeah. Actually. Just one. Don't... don't say anything you don't mean. Like... please don't tell me you love me just to... you know." 

He says it because he doesn't think he can take it. If hears that coming from Link... well, he wants it to be real. He doesn't want... this... to taint it if it ever actually happens. Not that it will. But, if it does... 

"Okay, Rhett. I won't. I promise."

"Alright, baby. You 'bout ready?"

"Baby? Really?" 

"You ain't pussin' out already are ya? That was easy," Rhett snorts, and Link is irritated. 

No, he's not pussing out. It just took him off guard for a minute, that's all. Gosh. Okay, okay um, next move? Ah, yeah. That'll work. 

Link doesn't waste any time in climbing into Rhett's lap, a knee on each side of his thighs and his arms wrapped around his neck. He looks down at Rhett so sweetly that it's almost painful. 

"I'm ready, Rhett. I'm so ready. Please, I want it," Link moans, and yeah, it's too far, but there's a smack on the line and he'll be the one that gets to deliver it.

"Yeah? Your want me to drive you real hard and fast all the way back to Harnett county?" 

Rhett's hands are on Link's hips now, and Link's not too sure why he's surprised, but he is. He guesses he just never expected to be in this position, and he definitely never expected to be this receptive. 

He tugs at Rhett's short hair, mad that he can't really get a good grip on it. How nice would it be to force his head back and make him look straight up? Link imagines he'd probably groan, and it would probably be deep and throaty. 

"You gonna keep me waitin' baby? Or you gonna give me what I want?" 

Rhett's hands travel from Link's waist and to his thighs, rubbing them up and down sensually. He doesn't go too high, there's a rule in place, but definitely higher than he ever had before. And he's loving this. The contact, the way Link's breath is catching in his throat and coming out in harsh little ripples. Fuck the bet, this is reward enough. 

"Fuck, Link. I'll give it to you. I'll give you whatever you want. Name it and it's yours." 

This was going too far too quickly, Link realized as warmth started to pool in his belly. If he wasn't careful he was going to... oh, no. He sat up and pushed away from Rhett, careful to conceal himself. Well, that's slightly horrifying and terribly embarrassing. 

"You throwin' in the towel?"

"You wish, brother. Na, I'm just getting up to change so we can get goin'. Our moms are gonna start worryin'." 

Yeah, sure. Good cover, Link, he thinks. But Rhett nods in acceptance anyway. 

Link stands up and grabs for the outfit he'd laid out for himself and starts for the bathroom, but stops himself before he leaves their room. 

"Oh, hey, Rhett?"

"Yeah, man?"

"You look real sexy right now." 

Rhett doesn't say anything back, so Link gives a wink and walks away.

By the time he’s changed and back, Rhett’s tying up his shoe laces from the chair to their shared desk. Link leans against the door frame and toys with his discarded pajamas in his hands. Rhett looks up with a grin, pleased to have an audience. 

“See somethin’ you like, baby?” 

Oh, right. The game. Link bites his lip and nods, and god, when did he start looking at Rhett and liking what he sees? Aw fuck, this little charade is getting in his head now, too. That’s no good. He’ll have to remember to compartmentalize a little better. 

“What exactly do you like about what you see?” 

“Just you. The whole picture. You’re really good lookin’.” 

“Well, look as much as you want. But for now, we really need to get on the road. Told my mama I’d be there by supper.” 

Link’s genuinely happy to be heading home. The few weeks away from school will do him some good. Recharge is drained batteries. He’ll sleep good, he knows it. He’ll relax and lounge and watch shitty tv. It’ll be great. 

“Remind me why we decided to take one car? I’m gonna have to use my moms to get around town. That was stupid,” Link tells him from the passenger seat. 

He looks at Rhett’s palm spread on his thigh, and let’s me honest, it’s all he’s looked at for the past fifteen minutes that they’ve been on the road. He feels the weight of it, soaks the heat, and really, it’s not all that bad. If anything, it’s inviting, so he puts his own hand on top of it and interlaces their fingers as best as he can through the odd angle. 

“Somethin’ about you not bein’ able to be away from me long enough for a car ride by yourself, I think was the reason.” 

“You sure are full’a yourself, huh?”

“Why shouldn’t I be? I think someone once told me I was sexy and good lookin’ all in the same day.”

“Hmm. That guy was probably dared to do it. Probably part of some bet.”

“Eh, he can say that. But you and I both know he was tellin’ the truth.” 

“Mhmm. So whatcha think your mom’s gonna say when you bring your boyfriend home instead’a your girlfriend?” 

“Oh, so you’re my boyfriend now, Link?” 

Boyfriend? Did Link say that? Fuck, no he didn’t. Did he? Well apparently he did and if he back tracks now he’s gonna look like he’s whimping out, and he can’t do that. Not on the first day. 

And how did this even happen? This is a far cry from the Link of just a few weeks ago. A Link that would have been reduced to fucking tears if he’d have said something like that. But here he is and he said it and he’s fine. He’s even having fun. Whatever. Lean in to it. He’s been so stressed lately. At least now he has a reason to act the way he’s been acting. 

“You’re right. Boyfriend is a little strong. Maybe we go with something a little more accurate. Like, ‘Hey, mom, dad. I brought Link with me. I’m his fuck toy now’. That’s more fitting.” 

Link’s really proud of himself for that one. Especially since Rhett’s cackling out a laugh that almost sounds so deep that it hurts. And surely Rhett’s masculinity is not gonna let himself be talked about like that. Rhett’s gonna balk any minute now. Link can feel it. 

“Fuck toy, huh? You gonna fuck me, Link? You gonna fuck me real good?” 

“Oh, gosh.” 

Rhett laughs again and switches his hand so that they’re palm to palm now, fingers still strung together like magnets. God, what is he doing to Link? 

Nothing. He’s not doing anything. It’s a game. A stupid fucking game between two people who spend way too much time together to be healthy. And Link most certainly does not feel healthy. 

Mercifully, Rhett doesn’t push too far for the rest of the ride. There’s little more than small talk and Link can breathe a little easier. He’s exhausted from this banter. Of course, Rhett seems like he’s thriving off of it, and there’s a side to Link that just can’t let him win. He can’t and he won’t. It’s all for the victory. 

“Alright man, this is your stop.” 

Rhett says it as they pull into the familiar driveway that Link’s so dearly missed. He shifts into park and finally pulls his sweaty hand away from Link’s and he hates to admit it, but he almost wishes it could stay there. But it can’t, and really, that’s better. 

“We doin’ anything tomorrow?” 

“Why, you already miss me?” 

Link grimaces and shoves his shoulder and Rhett shoves back. 

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up. We’ll find somethin’ to do. You need any help with your bags?”

“I’m not your girlfriend. I don’t need your help,” Link tells him and rolls his eyes. 

“I know, you’re my boyfriend.” 

Ugh, he’s so annoyingly proud of himself. 

“Bye, babe,” Link grumbles sarcastically and heads for his front door.


	9. Chapter 9

Link's not sure if it's better to say that he wakes up really early or if he ever even went to sleep. The clock beside his bed reads four AM, and that's far, far too early for his tastes. It's Christmas break, he should be asleep until at least noon. Still, he can't find a position to get comfortable in. His blankets are too hot and then too cold when he kicks them off in frustration. He's mad. He's irritated and cranky and pissed.

His walls are adorned with posters he'd picked out over the years. He's got his pillow that his head has carefully crafted to fit him just right. He's got his blanket that he's used for quite some time. The familiar feel of fabric is enshrouding him. And yet, there's just something not right about it. 

He's exhausted. In every sense of the word, and all his body should be yearning for is a little down time. But it's not. It wants something, or rather, someone, else and it's not going to be satisfied until it gets him. 

And what's up with that? I mean, he knows the game (or whatever) went a little far yesterday. He knows and he understands. But it was all in good fun. But the way Rhett called him  baby swims in his head and echoes around. Baby. Baby. Baby. Alright, baby. You 'bout ready? See somethin' you like, baby? 

And then, fuck toy, huh? You gonna fuck me, Link? You gonna fuck me real good? Ugh, hearing it in Rhett's voice on repeat is a terrible, terrible thing. Because he's starting to swell and his hand is aching to take hold of it and take care of it. But... that's a line he's not sure if he wants to cross. No, he knows he doesn't want to cross it because that means that this is real. No, not the bet, stupid. The feelings. The feelings are real... if he lets this happen. And only then. 

So instead of doing what he really wants to he rolls over on his side and forces his eyes shut and tucks his knees to his chest, bound and determined to sleep. Just. Please, sleep. 

And then he hears a little tap. He jerks his head over toward the sound, and listens closely. It's a familiar sound, one that's happened a handful of times over the years. Late night calls to go for a drive or a walk or whatever is not something that he's a stranger to. 

He hears it again and shimmies from his bed and steadily walks to the window. He's not going to seem overly eager, because he's not. He's not at all. No, he doesn't care. Okay, well maybe he does. But only because he can't sleep and he's bored. 

He opens the window and leans out, and just barely in the moonlight, there's Rhett grinning up to him. 

"Throwin' rocks at my window? How romantic," Link smiles back. 

"I aim to please, baby," is Rhett's quieted reply. "You gonna let me in or what? I'm freezin' my ass off out here." 

"I don't think I will." 

Obviously he will, but Rhett doesn't need to know that. He can sweat it out for a minute. Call it justice served cold. Ha, yeah, that's a good one. 

"Come on, man! I came all the way over to see you."

"You drove. It's not like you walked. You'll live if you drive back." 

"You're a prick, Link."

"Yeah. I always have been, haven't I? And you're still here. So obviously I'm doin' somethin' right."

No. No, he's most definitely doing something wrong. But what the fuck, it's fun. 

"You don't let me in in five seconds I'm'a punch you in the face. How 'bout that?" 

"I don't think your arms can reach. So. You can try, but..."

Rhett scoffs and shifts his weight, and in the dim lighting Link can see the little puffs of steam that his breath leaves behind. Dang, he probably really is freezing. 

"Five." 

"What?"

"Four." 

"Oh, come in Rhett. Rea-"

"Three. Times runnin' out."

"Okay, okay!"

"Two."

"I'm coming. Hold your horses." 

Link scrambles from the window pane and treads the stairs quietly. He doesn't need his mom seeing his late night visitor, though, bless her, she wouldn't suspect a thing. Uh, not that there's anything to suspect or anything. It's just friends meeting up at four in the morning for no reason in particular. 

Rhett's leaning on the door frame when link opens it. Standing there like he owns the place with his arms crossed over his chest and one leg hooked over the other. He's the definition of cool, calm and relaxed. 

"Hey, bo," he says, softly again like Link's delicate. "Can I come in?" 

Link stands aside and Rhett strides in, confident in the layout of Link's house even in the dark. He knows which step to skip because it squeaks, and knows to be especially quiet around Link's mom's room. 

He steps through the threshold of the bedroom and stands to the side to wait for Link, quietly shutting and locking the door once he's come in. 

"Why you lockin' it?" 

"Cause I don't plan on leavin'. Less you want your mama to walk in on me sleepin' in your bed?"

"Uh, if I'm remembering correctly, I never agreed to you stayin'," Link says. 

"If I'm remembering correctly, I didn't ask. So."

Rhett takes his jacket off and slings it to the corner of the room, then toes his shoes off and does the same. His jeans and sweatshirt come off next, and he crawls in Link's bed like he doesn't need permission and it's perfectly fine. 

And for the most part, it is. But Link's room is tidy and he won't stand for this. He's on his bed in a flash and has his knee pressing to Rhett's back, pushing him in to the mattress. Not hard enough to cause damage, but hard enough to be noticed. 

"Pick your shit up. This ain't some pig sty you can just mess up." 

"Get off me, Link." 

"Not until you agree to clean up after yourself. You weren't invited. You're less than a guest right now." 

"Oh, really, now? You don't want me here, then? You tellin' me you can sleep without me?"

"Exactly."

Rhett's shifts easier than Link would have hoped and rolls to his back toppling Link on him in a huff. Well. This is much, much too close for comfort. Link's just about to stand back up when Rhett wraps an arm around his back and grabs his thigh before rolling them over again. This time Rhett's on top and he's pressed between Link's legs, and neither of them have on enough clothes for this to even be close to okay. 

"Rhett-"

"Tell me again that you want me to leave." 

His hand is moving up and down Link's thigh, just around the back of it from his knee to nearly the bottom of his ass cheek and. And. It's just that. Well it kinda feels good. And it kinda doesn't. On the inside, it doesn't. And it does, too. 

"You can't, can you?"

"I... um, can you maybe, please just pick up your stuff?" 

"Sure, baby. I'll do that for you. You want me to go now?"

No. Yes. Fuck. Yes, probably definitely. Probably for sure. That's probably the better option. Because if he doesn't then things are gonna get real awkward real fast, and Link's not sure if he can take it. 

Rhett's body heat is soaking into Link's skin like it's the perfect absorber. It's so, so warm and inviting and wrong and distasteful and sinful. And good. And bad. And great. 

"I think... I think that would be, um, for the best, don't you?"

"I think I'll do whatever you tell me to." 

Oh fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. That's too much power. That's not enough power. That's this and that's that and there's too many options for Link to explore. 

"Okay, Rhett." 

Rhett grins down like he's just hit the jackpot. Like he knows Link is his and he can do whatever he wants. But he can't. Link won't let this get too far, will power be damned. 

"Those rules still in place?" 

"Why? You want me to tell you I love you or somethin'?" Link asks coyly, remembering that was the only parameter that Rhett had laid. 

The stretch of his hand stops on Link's thigh and his smile falls like it's made of lead. His face scrunches and he pulls away before standing up and gathering his things. 

"You leavin'?" 

"Yeah. I think so. Um, I'll see you tomorrow?" 

Link's heart’s racing and breaking all at once. He doesn't want him to go. He needs him to stay. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have and he's sorry and he didn't mean it. Fuck, why'd he even bring it up?

"Don't go," Link practically begs, and Rhett puts his shirt on over his head and laces his arms through the holes. 

"You said yourself that you wanted me to. Told me I was less than a guest, remember?" 

"I was teasin'. Please, I... want you to stay." 

"Link..." 

Rhett sits in the edge of the bed and plants his face in his palms. He lets out a deep, shuttering sigh and Link hates it. Hates himself for making him do this. 

"Please just stay," he tries again, desperately. 

"I don't think you know what you want, Link."

Well, he's not really wrong, now is he? Yes Link knows what he wants. Sort of. He wants these... these fucking feelings to go away. He wants to have never had them. He wants to crawl in a hole and never see the sun again. But he also wants Rhett to come and rescue him, bring him back into the light of day never to go back there again. So, yeah. There's a lot of indecision. 

"I know that I want you to stay." 

"Yeah? What if I say that I'll stay if you let me kiss you?" 

"You- what?"

Wait, hold up. Kiss him? I mean, they've sort of been flirting with this for a while now, haven't they? They've been towing the line of too far for far too long. Would Link let him kiss him? He's not really sure. Because. I mean. It's Rhett and he's a guy and he shouldn't. But... maybe he wants to? Just to try it? No. No, he can't. 

"That's what I thought, Link. I need to leave. Because if I don't I might just do something to make you hate me for the rest of our lives. And I can't have that on my conscience. It's too heavy'a burden for me to bear." 

"I won't hate you, Rhett. I won't. But... I don't think that we should... you know..." 

"Yeah. Yeah, Link. I know. And that's why I'm leaving. Consider yourself the winner of the bet." 

"No- I... I don't wanna hit you, man. I don't. Just. Stay, okay? We can figure this out." 

"We can figure it out tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, Rhett." 

It's all he can say. It's all he has in his repertoire. Rhett smiles, though he eyes don't crease with elation. They're sad. He's sad and it's too much. He cups Link's cheek. Delicately. So softly. And he rubs his thumb back and forth affectionately. 

Link's head is spinning with possibilities. He could let him kiss him. Or, he could even make the first move and lean in. But he doesn't and Rhett doesn't. But Link leans his head into the touch and he puts his hand over Rhett's and lets it stay there. 

"I know you are. It's okay, Link. We're okay." 

He lingers for only a moment longer, and pulls away. His hands are on the door knob and Link's internally screaming. Please stay! Don't go! Just don't ever leave! I'll kiss you, I'll do anything! 

But he doesn't. He hangs back and watches him go. Listens to the click of his door closing back and the decent of his footsteps down the hall. And then Rhett's gone and Link's alone. And he's sad and mad and all of those same feelings he's felt the last few weeks. Except now they're on the complete opposite side. 

He wants to kiss Rhett. 

And he doesn't. But he does. And he's going to. Tomorrow. 

He tries for sleep again. And he's successful for the most part. Kind of. 

He wakes up at ten, still too early and he's tired, but it's too light in his room to try and stay still. And that's okay. Because he has plans he's going to stick to. 

So he gets up and gets a hot shower. Scrubs every square inch of his skin. Twice. Brushes his teeth and his tongue so roughly that his gums bleed. And then uses mouthwash. He's clean. He's like, really fucking clean. And then he's dressed and it's still not even eleven yet. But it's late enough. 

He dials the same number he's been calling since he was big enough to use the phone. And it rings. And rings. And rings. And just as Link is about to hang up, there's a crackling in the receiver. 

"Hello?" 

Link grins. He missed her. She sounds like an extension of home. His second mom. 

"Hi mama Di. It's Link. How are you?"

"Oh! Link! Hi, honey. We're good over this way. How're you? How's college? You keepin' Rhett out of trouble?" 

"I don't think anyone's capable of keepin' Rhett out of trouble, ma'am," he pauses for her hearty laughter, and then tells her, "Everything's good with me. Thank you for askin'."

"So, I suppose you haven't called to talk to me, huh, honey?" She asks teasingly, and even though she can't see him, he grins shyly. She's always been able to see through him. Probably because she's known him for so long. 

"You know I always love talkin' to ya. But I was hopin' Rhett was around." 

"It's aright. I won't take offense. But no, he's not here. He went out of town for the day to meet up with some girl. Sounds like they're gettin' pretty serious."

"Oh. Yeah. Um. Amanda. Yeah, I guess they are." 

Link's dying inside. His eyes are stinging and he feels lost. Is this seriously happening right now? Of all times. Why? He'd just realized what he wanted! Fuck! 

"She a good girl, Link?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. She's great. Rhett likes her a lot."

He doesn't care. Doesn't care if Rhett likes her a lot because. Because he wants to kiss Rhett. And Rhett said he would see Link today. He promised and he left instead. And Link missed his chance. 

"Mmm. Well, that's good to hear. I'll tell Rhett you called if he's back before I head to bed okay?"

"Alright. Thank you. I'll stop by and see ya before we head back, okay?"

"You better. I'll see you later. Take care. Bye-bye now." 

"Bye."

He hangs up the phone and hangs his head as he runs for the stairs. He's gonna cry but he's for damn sure not gonna do it in the kitchen. 

His face is planted in his pillow and he lets it go. Fuck Rhett. Fuck him for leaving today when they had plans. Fuck him for fucking her. Fuck him for doing this to Link. For making him feel this way. Fuck Rhett McLaughlin.


	10. Chapter 10

Link decides to stay in bed for most of the day. He doesn't see a reason to get up. He had a chance, a fucking golden opportunity handed to him on a silver fucking platter and he god damn squandered it. Why did it take him so long to realize what he wanted? And beyond that, why does he care? It's not like he actually likes Rhett. No, that would be gay. And Link is not gay. Call it... experimental curiosity. That's it and that's all. Nothing more nothing less. 

Rhett's an attractive guy. He can concede that much. Link would have to be blind or in serious denial if he thought anything different. The way his cheeks ball up when he smiles. The way his eyes sparkle when he laughs. His deep voice and his big hands. Everything about him from the inside out is just... beautiful. Link can't deny it. 

But it's not like he would notice things like that about other men. No, he's not even trying to find attractive qualities in men. It's just that Rhett, well, he's always there. And Link has spent more time looking at him than he has himself, so, yeah, he's noticed. It comes with the territory of being together for so- not together. No, they're not together. It comes with the territory of seeing someone so frequently. 

And then the bet. So okay, maybe it made him a little tingly the way that Rhett looked at him. And the way he touched him. And the way he called him baby. Maybe it stirred up a few misplaced feelings, but keep in mind, Link hasn't been with a woman in a few months and okay, so maybe he's a little horny. He has hormones. It's an innate desire to procreate. Don't act like you've never had those feelings.

The sun moves across the sky and still Link doesn't move. He's being petulant, he knows. It's all about a temper tantrum. Wanting what he can't have. It has nothing to do with a broken heart. He's not sad. No he's not. He's jealous and that's it. Okay?

He hears the front door open, and he knows his mom is home. He should get up and greet her, he knows. But he can't find it in himself. He hears the sound of pots and pans, and only that makes him feel guilty enough to finally get up. If she's sweet enough to cook for him, he owes it to her to assist. And at the very least sit with her as she does it. 

"Hey mama," he greets as brightly as he can when he rounds the corner to the kitchen and she jumps at the intrusion. 

"Oh, Link. You scared me. I didn't expect you to be home. You feelin' okay? You look a little worn down. Let me check your temp."

He smiles warmly at her. She cares so much for him. She always has and she always will, and it brings about such a feeling of safety. 

"Na, don't worry about me. I'm just tired." 

"Okay. If you're sure."

"I am. Can I help with anything?" 

She shakes her head, but smiles appreciatively, so instead of getting in her way he sits down at the table and watches her. 

"I thought you would be with Rhett today. It's cold, but the sun's out. Not like you to be all cooped up."

"I see Rhett all the time. I just wanted to spend a day at home."

She nods slowly. She's not buying it, he knows it. He's never been able to lie, especially not to her. Might as well come clean. At least partially. 

"So you two boys have a fight?"

"Not... really. I don't think so. But he's... he's with his girlfriend today." 

"Oh, I see. You don't like her."

It's not a question, and Link has no idea how she knows these things. She just does. 

"She's okay. She uh, she doesn't like me, though." 

"And why's that? You mindin' your manners?" 

"Yes, mother," Link chuckles. "She... she said Rhett spends too much time with me..."

"Hmm, can't imagine that's true," she laughs. She knows better. It's most definitely true. It always has been. 

"Yeah. So. I don't know. She just doesn't want me around. That's okay. I get it."

"Well, if she doesn't want you around, that's her problem. I can't imagine Rhett standin' for that nonsense." 

"No. He hasn't. Not really." 

"But he chose her today,"'she concludes and Link shrugs. 

"We were supposed to hang out today but he was with her when I called. Diane picked up instead." 

"Ah. I see. And you're not okay with that."

"Sure, I am."

"Charles," she tuts, and he puts his hands up in defeat. 

"I'm okay with him seein' her. Seriously. But I do wish he would have told me. We had plans."

"Were your plans important?" 

"Not really. But that's not the point. The point is-"

"You're worried that you two are gonna start driftin' apart? Don't worry about it, baby, I don't think any girl could come between the two'a you. He loves you. Y'all been best friends forever. And maybe you should get a girlfriend, too. You could double date or somethin'." 

Link doesn't want a girlfriend. He doesn't wanna double date. He wants Rhett to keep his word. He wants Rhett to not take off without a word. He just wants Rhett. In what capacity, he doesn't know. Not like, to be his boyfriend. That's for sure. 

Mercifully, his mother changes the topic from Rhett to school and studying and anything else that's easy to talk about. Things he doesn't have to think about. The answers come out easily and naturally. And he's glad. She always knows just what he needs, and it helps him breathe.

A little later, once his belly is full and his mind is soothed (if only a little) he's washing the dishes and insisting that his mother take a load of and sit down. He's good to her, and she's proud. She shows it in the way she kisses his cheek and thanks him profusely. 

The phone rings, and he's quick to answer it so that she doesn't have to stand right up. When he does, his stomach bottoms out. 

"Hello?"

"It's me. My mom said you called."

He sounds... off? Like he's not at all happy to talk to him, and he knows he probably deserves it. And for a second he feels bad, but then he remembers that he's mad, too, and he's gonna let Rhett know all about it. 

"Yeah, I did. Because we had plans. Seems like you might have changed them though. A little warning would have been nice, don't ya think?"

"Link... I... Yeah, you're right. I should have told you. I'm sorry that I didn't. It was a real dick move."

"Yeah, it was."

Link wants to keep the edge to his voice. Wants to let Rhett know that he fucking hurt him, but Rhett's acknowledgement disarms him. Now he almost feels bad for being a little rude. 

"If it makes it and better, I had a really shitty day." 

"Yeah, me too, Rhett."

"Can I see you?"

"What, like now?"

"Yeah. Now. Please?"

"Alright, alright. You want me to come to your house or somethin'?"

"No. The rocks." 

"Rhett, it's freezin' our there."

"Link. Please." 

"Fine. I'll see you soon." 

It didn't take much to make Link convince his mom to let him borrow her car. One little bat of his lashes and she caved. He knew how she worked, too, and at times like this he realizes how lucky he is to be her only child. He's a little spoiled, he knows, but it is what it is. And he's not complaining. 

The drive is one well worn into his memory. The backroads are no different than the back of his hand by now, and he wagers that if he needed to, he could probably take them blindfolded. 

The walk across the pasture and down to the river may as well have his foot prints imbedded in it by how many times he's traveled it. There should be some sort of mark left that'll show the world that though they don't own the land, it belongs to them. Their own little private hideaway. It's special to them. Far more so than would be to anyone else, Link's sure of it. 

Rhett's not there when he arrives, but he assumes he called him here to talk, so Link takes the smaller boulder, a sign that he's here to listen. Listen to what, he has no idea. Tell him to fuck off? Tell him he wants more for their friendship or he's out? Or maybe he'll say, hey man, things have been weird. Let's just be normal again. 

And honestly, Link doesn't know which of those would be worst, because if Rhett wants things to be normal again, he might as well be telling him to fuck off anyway. And if he wants more... what would that imply?

When Link hears the soft crunch of dead and rotten leaves marching his way, his heart goes to his throat and it starts beating so quickly and heavily that he's not sure if his veins can take it. There's an outline of a person, barely visible under the cloak of darkness. But it's unreasonably tall, and who else would that be but Rhett? 

"Hey, brother," the figure says, and Link replies in kind. 

"Miss me?" Rhett asks, and now instead of a faceless creature he's darkened features and glittering eyes. 

"I... don't really know how to answer that, man." 

"You could try truthfully."

"Yeah. I could."

"Well?"

"What, you wanna have a heart to heart or some shit?"

Link doesn't know where the hostility came from, but it's there, and though he's trying to get rid of it, it's staying firmly planted. 

"Look," Rhett says, softly, "I'm sorry about earlier. I just... needed to clear my head, I guess. After last night..."

"Yeah, last night."

"I just... am I allowed to be honest with you yet? You gonna tell me to shut up as soon as I say something you don't wanna hear?" 

"When have you ever listened to me, Rhett? Say what you're gonna say." 

Rhett sits on the larger of the stones, though it seems like more out of habit than tradition. He gazes across to Link, who folds in on himself and drapes his arms over his knees. He's listening. Rhett has his full attention. 

"Things got too intense last night. Felt like... like if I didn't kiss you my whole world was gonna crumble. And I knew you didn't want that, and I ain't ever gonna force anything on you. So I thought I could go home and sleep it off. But when I woke up..."

Link feels like he's being ripped to shreds. And he doesn't know why. He just knows he's being directed from the inside out and he's dying. Slowly and painfully. This is the end for him. 

"When you woke up?" 

"When I woke up the feeling was still there. Like I needed you. Like my body physically couldn't carry on without you. So I went to see her instead." 

"Yeah? And did it get any better?" 

"No. It didn't. At all. And I guess it was obvious. Because she got really mad at me. Told me that I think about you too much. And that's probably true."

"So what are you saying? You don't wanna see me anymore?" 

Rhett lets out a huff of a laugh, one that lacks humor and implies that Link is a bigger idiot than he'd ever dreamed. Link frowns, preparing for Rhett to leave him forever. 

"Can I finish my story?" 

"If you must." 

"So I started kissin' her. To prove to her that she was wrong and I was with her, not you."

"This is a great story, Rhett. Please tell me all about how you fucked her. That'll make this day so much better for me." 

Link's nearly to the point of nausea. He doesn't want to hear any of this. He doesn't know what he'd rather hear but... not this. Anything but this. 

"Shut up, Link. I didn't fuck her. I barely even started kissin' her before I realized I didn't want to. Not ever again. And she got mad again. Said I was probably thinkin' about kissin' you instead. And... she wasn't wrong. But she didn't need to know that. So I said some things and she said some things. And... we broke up."

"I'm sorry, Rhett." 

Link's not sorry. Not one bit. Well, that's not true. He's sorry that Rhett's sad. Really, he is. He doesn't want him to hurt but... 

"She said if I wanted you so bad I should go and get you." 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah." 

Rhett stands up, but beyond that he doesn't move, and neither does Link. He's imposing, towering over Link like he could crush him in his hands if he wanted to. And Link's thinking of taking him up on that if only to end this feeling... whatever it is. 

"And do you want to, Rhett? Come get me?" 

"...Yeah." 

His voice is so quiet that Link barely hears it, but it speaks volumes none the less. He might as well have screamed it from the rooftops. 

"Well, what are you waitin' for, then?"

"I- what?" 

Link's growing inpatient with each passing second. Can he suggest something more? He's not entirely sure, but he's sure gonna try. 

"You gonna kiss me or what, man?"

Link asks, and finally Rhett moves. He moves toward Link with an unmatched speed, and he waivers for just a moment, so Link stands up. They're nearly chest to chest, both breathing hard. Breathing in the scent of each other. Breathing in the anxiety and the nerves.

Link reaches out and touches Rhett's arm, above his elbow and below his shoulder. He's growing more and more restless but he doesn't want to be the one that goes first. He's pleading with his eyes. Please, just please kiss me. Just. Please. 

And Rhett does. He inches forward and so does Link. Slowly, as they're both unsure of how to make this work with each other. They both want it, that's for sure. They want it and Link needs it, so he surges forward to close the gap. And soon Rhett's lips are on his and Link's lost. Lost in Rhett and lost in everything else.

And he doesn't want to be found. Because he's already found what he wants and what he needs, and he's happy. For the first time in a long time, he doesn't have any whirring thoughts that fuck with his psyche. It's just him and it's just Rhett. And it's good. It's really good.     

They let it linger for longer than a moment, and then pull away. Both are breathing hard. Both are staring at each other like if they look away, they might disappear. 

"'S'at okay?" Rhett asks, like Link could say anything other than yes, please keep going. 

"Yeah. It's fine."

And he's going back for more. This time Rhett's hand finds the nape of his neck, tugging at the hair there and he's keeping Link on the earth.

And Link's giving just as good as he gets. Licking Rhett's lips like they're a cool drink of a hot day. It's a mess of teeth and misplaced bites, but it's them and it's good.

That feeling that Link was searching for, the one that settles in his guts and warms him from the inside out is there, and while he knows this is so, so wrong, it feels so, so, right. And he doesn't ever want it to stop. 

So he presses up on the balls of his feet and wraps his arms around Rhett's neck and holds him like he'll never let him go. And Rhett's hands move to Link's waist and he holds him back. 

They finally pull away and Link's grinning like an idiot and so is Rhett. And they're laughing. Laughing so hard that tears are welling up and spilling out. They finally part and step away from each other, but it's hard. It's hard because they're not done with what they really want to be doing, but they've gotta talk. 

"So..." Rhett starts and takes his hand across the back of his neck. 

"Yeah, so..."

“I really liked that,” Rhett offers, and Link is over the moon, because he did, too. God, did he ever. 

“Was’at a one time thing, or...”

“Fuck, I hope not. But I don’t really get to make that call on my own, do I?” Rhett’s smiling, because the way Link breathes says all he needs to hear. 

“I’m in,” Link shrugs, like he’s the coolest guy to walk the earth. Like he’s got a swagger that no one else could ever even touch. But Rhett doesn’t miss the quiver in his voice. The excitation is there. The want. The need. And it’s all for Rhett. 

“Well why you so far away, then? C’mere.” And Link does, And they stay there, like that, connected like they’re just one person, for long in to the night. And when they finally go back to their respective homes, they’re both able to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

"Link? Hey! Link! You here?" 

Link rolls over in bed and grins, his sleepy and bleary eyes are no match for the voice calling him from downstairs. He scrambles up and nearly stumbles as he tears his legs into the discarded jogging pants by his bed, but Rhett's here and he's down there waiting. Link doesn't want to be away from him for another moment. 

"I'm here!" He calls back and skips down the hall, taking two steps at a time and til he's at the bottom and toe to toe with Rhett. 

"You woke me up," Link tells him with a swift hit to Rhett's belly, and he laughs at the grunt and the harsh exhale he gets in response. 

"Nice to see you, too." Link gets hit back and he takes the pain with the facade of amusement. "Your mom musta left the door unlocked before she went to work. I let myself in."

"You better be here for a damn good reason McLaughlin." 

"Oh, I am." 

"Care to let me in on it?"

Link's stomach is doing summersaults like it's a god damn gold medal Olympian. Last night, well last night was great. Better than great. Spectacular. Amazing. Magic. A ton of other stupid fucking words that sound like they'd be in the description of a Hallmark Christmas romance movie. 

Still though, he can't help but wonder if anything has changed. You never know, sleep can awaken you like nothing else, and maybe that's the case for Rhett. But mercifully, Link gets a sign. 

Rhett's got that look. You know the one. The one where he's grinning, but there's more to it. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, and his eyes drop from Link's and down to his Cupid's bow. Rhett leans in and Link does too, and gosh, he can't wait to get his hands on him.

But Rhett stops short and holds up the little paper bag in his hand, and beams proudly before Link can kiss him. 

"Brought you breakfast." 

"Oh, you're fuckin' kiddin' me right now," Link complains, but still he rips the bag from Rhett and peers inside. "Did you bring me jelly doughnuts?"

"Uh huh." 

"You jerk," Link smiles and his cheeks are already starting to hurt. Even this early in the morning. "S'at all you brought me?"

"What else you want, you greedy little bitch?" 

"Shut up. Kiss me," Link demands, and before Rhett can answer he's got the lapel of Rhett's jacket fisted in his fingers and he's pulling him down and finally, fucking finally Rhett's mouth is on his. It's open and sloppy and it's just what Link spent the night dreaming about. Well, that was uncharacteristically ballsy. Maybe Rhett's changing him a little bit. Maybe a little bit of him is rubbing off on Link. Maybe it's not such a bad thing. 

"You shoulda brushed your teeth, nasty." 

Rhett takes the bag back and pulls out a doughnut of his own and takes a healthy bite, grinning down at Link's sour face. He leans down and presses the tiniest of kisses against Link's lips around his bite before he stands back up again and makes his way to the living room couch

"You decide I'm worth spendin' the day with today?"

Link plops down next to him and folds one of his legs up and under him before digging into his breakfast. 

"Yep. Thought maybe I could come here while the house is empty and talk you into suckin' my dick." 

Link's eyes grow wide and his mouth opens in mid chew, and that's not at all what he thought Rhett would say. He... he can't just... drop something like that. It's... it's vulgar. It's most definitely ungentlemanly. But then again, when has Rhett ever been a gentleman when it came to Link? 

"Relax, Link. I'm teasin'. Just wanted to see you is all."

"Any particular reason?" 

Rhett rolls his eyes and drops his head to the back of the couch. Link's teeth are all on display as he watches him, jelly and all. 

"You're a real fuckin' tease. Anyone ever told you that?"

"Mmm," Link's eyes go skyward as he contemplates his answer. "Don't think so, no." 

"Mhmm. Lookit you. No shirt. Mussed up hair. Definition of a tease." 

"Oh, I see. You just came over to feed me and insult me. 'Kay, cool." 

Link crumples up the empty bag and tosses it at Rhett's face, hitting its intended target and making Rhett scowl in return. 

"Calm down, princess," Rhett teases and Link scoffs. 

"I ain't no princess. That's for sure."

"You're my princess. My pretty little-"

"Man, screw you," Link tosses and kicks Rhett's thigh. 

"Okay, okay," Rhett laughs, hands up in mock defeat. "You ain't a princess. I damn well know you're a man. Seen you naked enough times to be sure." 

"Yeah, why you lookin'?"

"Inadvertent eye contact," Rhett shrugs, as if it's the most simple answer in the world.

"Sure, Rhett. Sure. I always knew you had a thing for me." 

"A thing? For you? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you told me to kiss you last night. And then again this mornin'. Seems to me that if either of us has a thing, it's you, brother." 

"Oh. So you didn't want to, then. Not really." 

Link doesn't mean to sound so pathetically fucking defeated, but he can't help it. Was it all in his head? It wouldn't be totally unlike Rhett to say something just to stroke his ego. Make Link feel for him just to feel better about himself. It could happen, right? 

And beyond that; does Link have a thing for him? No. No, that's not the right word for it. He just... he makes Link feel good. Like, head in the clouds, walking in sunshine good, but that's what friends are supposed to do. And the kissing thing? It's not... it's not that. It's just, Link's lonely and he needs an outlet. And why shouldn't it be Rhett? That's logical...?

"Link. Please. I think you know better'n that, don'tcha? You think I'd ever do somethin' like that if I didn't want to? Don't be ignorant." 

"So you wanted it, too?" 

"Yes, Link. I did." 

"Do you still?" 

Rhett's eyes go wide and again he licks at his bottom lip, a nervous habit that he's been settled on for years. He nods his head and Link does, too. 

The air is heavy. Like, it's stagnant and stale and Link feels like he'll never get a decent breath of fresh air again in his whole fucking life. At least not while Rhett's looking at him like that. With his arm comfortably over the back of the couch and his legs wide set where he sits. He's a fucking... a fucking god or something. Okay, Link thought it. So what? 

"Well, then. Uh, why you all the way over there?" 

"Because you didn't ask me to move." 

"I'm askin' you now." 

Rhett does. He's up and crawling over to Link and Link's shrinking down against the arm of the couch. His heart, man his heart can't take all of this stress. Because Rhett looks fucking amazing right now. And he's right on top of Link with one knee between his and one on the floor to hold him up. And he's looking down at Link like Link is the prettiest thing he's ever seen. 

He leans down slowly, and Link bends upward. It's taking forever to meet, at least it feels that way. Like Link is starving to death and he has to wait on his food to cook just right, when all he wants to do is eat it raw and deal with the consequences later. 

Finally their lips meet, tentative at first, despite having kissed just earlier. Because, like I said, the air is different and they know it. This is... less experimental and more... feeling it. This is more lust and heavy breathing and fingers trailing on skin. 

Rhett's fully laying on top on Link now, having pulled his other leg up and settled in between Link's. But it's not like, it's not sex or anything, because Rhett's not going to force Link into anything. He'd never. He wants them to take their time and hash things out. Because if they ever do take it that far, he's not sure that he'd ever be able to stop. And he needs to know before hand that this is what they both want. 

"Jesus, Link," Rhett pants and pulls up just far enough to catch a worried flash of blue. 

"I'm sorry. Too much?" 

Link's fingernails unburrow themselves from the skin of Rhett's back and relax, dropping to his sides pitifully limp. He's trying to catch his breath like he just ran a marathon, and Rhett does the same. 

"Uh uh. Not enough." 

Rhett's back on him again, hard and fast. Link's hands find their way to Rhett's neck and pulls him in closer, if that's even possible. Rhett's hands are on Link's jaw, holding him just where he wants him, and the force is enough to make Link moan into his mouth. 

It's a sound that Rhett's heard a handful of times. They share a room after all, and they have needs that have to be taken care of. But the noises have come from above in another bunk, not right in his ear. Not right where the sound can travel down his body and settle in his groin. 

And speaking of which, the spark of pleasure that it brings is almost painful. He's nearly throbbing, and the only relief he can get is by pressing down, and feeling Link's own arousal in return. 

"Mm, Rhett, don't, uh. Don't..." 

Rhett pulls back, and honestly, it's not something to be proud of, because he should have self restraint, but it's hard. It's hard because he wants Link so damn bad. But he's... he's a decent guy. So he sits up and wipes his mouth and moves to the other side of the couch, and pulls on his jacket to cover up his lap. Some boundaries he's just not ready to cross. 

"I... didn't mean for you to go..."

"No, no, it's fine. You don't ever have to do anything you don't want to." 

"I... do and I don't. But... I was thinking that my room might be a better... Y'know, a better place. It has a lock and a door and..." 

Rhett's already standing up, because if he doesn't, Link is never going to shut up. He's going to blather on and on and nothing is really going to get accomplished. So he's up, and he's got a hand held out for Link to take, and if Link has the ability to think at all right now, he'd probably stay on the couch. But he can't and he doesn't, because there's no blood left in his brain. 

They're athletes. The stairs are no match for them, and they're at the landing in record time, and Rhett's still dragging him down the hall to Link's bedroom. 

Link doesn't mind giving up control. He doesn't mind letting Rhett lead, how the hell would Link be able to do this without him?

As soon as the door is shut Link's back is against it. This time Rhett's a bit more mindful of his body, aligning their torsos but separating at the hips. He's not trying to scare Link, make him think that all Rhett wants is a bit of release. Though, well, he does, but he can take care of that himself in the bathroom later on. 

Link pushes on his chest but keeps his lips on Rhett's. And his neck and his stubbly jaw. He's leading them to the bed, Rhett taking tentative steps backward, but Link is sure footed. Never has been more coordinated in his life.

He’s pushed down onto the bed easily, Link thinks. Maybe too easily. Like he’s given up even an attempt at resisting, and Link’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

“You stayin’ up there, then?” Rhett asks from below, a grin playing at his lips. 

Link can’t really think of anything to say, not now, so instead he shakes his head and straddles Rhett’s waist before leaning down and kissing him again. And it goes on like that, only for a short bit before Rhett rolls them over and Link’s pressed against his bed sheets. 

The sheets are a dark navy blue, and Rhett’s caught in how much they make Link’s eyes pop. They’re like crystals, like ice over the ocean, like, like dew on the grass early in the morning. They’re, fuck, they’re everything. They’re everything that’s good and pretty and precious. 

“You okay, man?” Link chuckles nervously, worried that Rhett’s thinking over all of the poor choices they’ve made in the last twenty four hours. Fuck, the last few weeks? Months? Years? How long has this been brewing? 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. You’re just... fuck, Link, you’re... beautiful.” 

Beautiful? Really? That’s not a word Link would have chosen for himself. Handsome, sure. He’s not totally unaware. But beautiful? That implies... femininity? Maybe. He’s not sure, but he is sure that things are getting too real too fast and he’s not okay with it. This is... encroaching on territory that he’s unwilling to explore. This is... this is far beyond him. And so he breaks the tension the only way he knows how; with “humor”. 

“What, are you gay or something?” 

“For callin’ you beautiful? What, makin’ out with you isn’t gay enough?” 

Oh. Oh, yeah. That’s right. This isn’t something that two straight guys would do, is it? But Link, Link is not gay. He’s not. He likes girls. Women. He likes women. And not boys. And not Rhett, not like that. No. Not gay. 

He struggles from under Rhett’s heavier frame and sits on the edge of his bed, head hung low and staving off tears. He’s not gay. He’s not, okay? 

Rhett settles in next to him, but lets him be, just for a moment. He’s going through something, that’s obvious, and if Rhett were a betting man he’d bet his life that he knows what it is. He’s gone through it too, obviously. But he’s far more adaptable and far more in tune with his feelings. He knows what he is and what he isn’t, and though he’s not ready to say it to the world, he can say it to himself. He may not like men, maybe not anyway, but he sure likes Link. If he has to, he can wait for Link to admit it to himself that he likes Rhett, too. 

“You okay, brother?” 

“Sure, yeah. I’m okay. You, uh, wanna watch tv or something?” 

It doesn’t go unnoticed that when they’re back down stairs, Link sits on the far side of the couch and blocks himself off from being touched again.


	12. Chapter 12

It's true. BoJangles has always been a hit with Link. The grease. The smell. That hot, hot chicken and those buttery biscuits. And that rice. That dirty rice that gets straight up naughty after a few days marinating in the fridge. The wholly knowing that it's completely and utterly terrible for him, but his body can handle it. He can gorge and gorge and not gain an ounce. 

He's never gone there and been dissatisfied. Never. Not once. Until now. He's sat staring at his food for at least fifteen minutes, Rhett guesses, though he doesn't voice his concerns. Because the thing about Link is, you don't ever, ever poke and prod when something is wrong with him. Not unless you're gearing up for a fight, because he will absolutely let the claws come out and deflect every thing you throw at him. And he'll throw it back ten times harder. You won't get anywhere. 

So Rhett watches him with quiet and careful curiosity, hoping that his tried and true method of letting Link brew and stew will work, because eventually he's going to have to say it. He's never been a good secret keeper, and that, folks, is no secret. Loose lips Link can't stand to let anything be kept to himself, and whatever this... this thing is, it's gotta be a doozy.

It's another few long, drawn out moments before Rhett clears his throat and wipes the extra bits of chicken grease off of his chin. He takes a long slurp of his Dr. Pepper, thinking that the sputtering at the end of the cup will at least annoy Link enough to say something. Anything. But it's not. And so Rhett's going to have to go first. 

"Aren'tcha hungry, Link?" 

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, just waitin' for it to cool down." 

The left side of his lips perk up in a half hearted grin, and the gesture is not lost on Rhett. It's fucking cute, okay? It's really, really cute. But it's also fake and it's an insincere attempt at sincerity. 

"Think it might be damn near cold by now." 

"Oh. Yeah, maybe," Link shrugs and takes a bite of his bread, and it's obvious to Rhett that it's the thing that's least likely to turn his stomach. 

Rhett sighs and leans back in his seat, hands dragging over his face dramatically as he tries to gather his thoughts. He's gonna have to do exactly what he didn't want; he's gonna have to poke the proverbial bear that is Link. He's gonna have to poke and poke until Link finally snaps and tells him why he's so blue. But not here. He's not exactly excited about the ensuing fight, less so if it has to be done in public. So he's going to wait until they leave, and they're back in Rhett's car where they can scream at each other until the blood vessels in their eyes pop. 

"I can get you a to go container?" He suggests with feigned innocence, as if he only wants Link to be comfortable, and not because his insides are twisting themselves into and untangle-able mess. 

"Sure, Rhett. That sounds good. Thanks, brother." 

Link watches him go, mad at himself for being this way. Rhett didn't really do anything wrong, right? He just... well, Link was into it, too. He was. He wanted the same thing. At least he did in that moment. 

But it's just... Rhett didn't have to push it so far, did he? No, he didn't. He didn't have to grind and rub and suck and kiss and lick the way he did. He didn't have to practically drag Link up the stairs (though it had been his suggestion that they take it to his room.) and he most certainly didn't have to call him beautiful. Of all the lines that they'd crossed the day before, that was by far the thickest. And it made Link sick. 

Rhett sits back down and hands Link the styrofoam container and waits patiently as he settles his food into the appropriate slots, careful that nothing touches what it shouldn't. It's just another endearing quality that he has. Just one more thing for Rhett to watch and feel all warm inside over. One more thing to miss even though it was never his to begin with. 

Rhett holds the door for Link, and he thinks he's being kind by doing so. He's polite, like his mama has taught him since he could talk. He's southern, and with it, he's had some old fashioned manners installed in his hard drive. He's kind. He's helpful. 

He's fucking condescending. Like Link couldn't hold his own door? Please. Link's beautiful and now he can't open his own doors? He swears, if Rhett even thinks of opening the car door for him, he's gonna deck him. He's gonna rear back and he's gonna break his nose and black his eyes. He's gonna take him to the ground and use the concrete exfoliate all of the skin from his face. He's gonna-

"You gettin' in or what?" Rhett asks him with an arm on the hood of the car, the other on the driver's side door. Oh, right. Good. 

Link winces when the door slams a bit too loudly, it was unintentional but Rhett's clearly annoyed by it. His eye brow is doing that thing that it does and he's looking at Link like he kicked his puppy. 

"Sorry," he murmurs and stares straight ahead. 

Rhett decided long before they even left the restaurant that they weren't going home. It wouldn't do for the talk that they were about to have, whatever it may be. This type of conversation, one so tense, was reserved for country roads and open spaces. Room to breathe and yell and be alone. Room for air. To air out the dirty laundry. To breathe in anew. 

"Where we goin' Rhett?" Link asks when they make a left where they very clearly should have made a right. 

"Away. For a little while." 

"Why?" 

"We've got some talkin' to do, buddy." 

There's an audible groan, one that rips its way out of Link's throat with a veracity of a mac truck, and Rhett knows this game, too. It's the one where he's passive, for a few minutes anyway, where he huffs and puffs and rolls his eyes. But he'll start- Link kicks around in his seat, not unlike a child- start complaining, loudly. About being too tired or having a headache or blah, blah, blah. 

"Rhett, I need to go home." 

"Nope. Sorry. You're comin' with me." 

"My stomach hurts, though." 

"I'll pull over if you need to puke. You can handle it." 

Well, that happened much faster than Rhett expected, and the next step is Rhett's least favorite. But Rhett's heard it all before. Every insult and attempt at pushing him away. He's heard it, and it hurts, but he's heard it and he's ready. He's gotten over it before, and he'll manage again. 

"Please, Rhett, please? I don't feel good. I want to go home." 

"I'll take you home later, honey. Promise." 

Link stiffens at the endearment, but he shuts up and there's a little victory all on its own. His fingers find the volume dial and turns it up, if only to preemptively cover Link's venomous words. 

"You're being an asshole, Rhett. Come on."

"Can hear you! Radio's loud!" He yells back and drums his fingers against the steering wheel.

Link fidgets with the window, the door panel, the dash. Runs his fingers over every little surface that he can. Possibly a form of primitive dusting. Could be he's just irritated. But more than likely he's trying to think of something to say. Trying to find the words to tell Rhett what's bothering him. So Rhett allows the little ritual, ignoring it when Link calls him a, "fucking dick," and ignoring when Link tells him, "Seriously. I'm gonna heave all over your car if you don't take me home." 

He's not sure why Link thinks he can get away with this. Why Link thinks he doesn't know him better than he knows himself. Why he thinks he can hide. Because he can't. And these little childish tactics aren't going to work. 

There's a pull off, just up ahead, and that's where Rhett parks and turns the radio down. He settles back in his seat and closes his eyes, hands rested comfortably behind his head. He's relaxed, superficially anyway. It's all part of getting Link to open up. If he's calm, then it'll irritate Link and he'll start talking. He knows him. He knows. 

"Are you fuckin' serious right now, man? You brought me all the way out here so that you could take a nap?" 

Rhett shrugs but otherwise doesn't move. He doesn't speak. He focuses on keeping his breathing steady and his heart rate stable. He needs this little period of pseudo meditation because soon he's going to be angry, and he needs to be able to keep it in check. 

"If you need a nap, then fine. Let me drive. I'll take us home." 

Nothing. This is ridiculous. He's ridiculous. He's an idiot. He's insane. He's so, so stupid. 

He's brilliant and he's fire and wind and rain. He's immovable and brave and smart. But fuck, he's so stupid. 

"I can't do this, man." 

Finally, they're getting somewhere. Rhett caps off the smile before it can even form, and cracks an eye open. 

"Can't do what, Link?" 

"Talk. I don't want to. And I won't." 

"Then don't." 

He will. He will any second now. 

"You called me beautiful." 

"I did. And I meant it. You are."

"I'm not your fucking girlfriend, Rhett." 

"I'm well aware that you're a man, Link. I've seen you naked a million times, okay? I'm sorry, I just really don't understand why you're so bothered by it?" 

Link looks at him like he can't believe that Rhett could be so... so fucking dense. Okay, so that was probably the wrong thing to say, but it doesn't often happen that he doesn't know the right thing. And this is one of those times. 

"You're gonna have to help me out here, man. I seriously don't know what I did."

There's a long stream of air that comes from Link's nose, and he deflates in his seat. There's a little spot in his cheek, just above his jaw that draws inward, and it's clear that he's chewing on the fleshy membrane there. And it's clear that Rhett's gonna have to hear about how it hurts later, but he can't bring himself to mention it. 

"You just... it was emasculating, okay? You just acted like... like if we were in a relationship that I'd be the... the girl or somethin'. I'm a man, Rhett. Okay? You understand me?" 

Now he's truly confused.  Because obviously Link's not a woman. Look at him. He's all hard lines and a sharp ass jaw. He's a deep voice and big hands with dangerously long fingers. He's domineering and capable and... and Rhett kind of took that away. 

"I understand, Link. I do. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for... for you to feel like that. I... you're a man. I know you are. I'm sorry I called you beautiful. I didn't mean it like... like a woman." 

"How'd you mean it, then?" 

Link's voice is quiet, like the anger has dissipated and replaced with self consciousness and uncertainty. This is new. There was no fight. No yelling. No anything. And Rhett’s lost. Because he was ready for the exact opposite. 

Rhett closes his eyes again, formulating the words, trying his best not to dig himself a deeper grave. 

"Like... Like, when you drive through the Smokey's and there's this fog that settles over everything and makes it... almost mystical. Everything is quiet and calm and you just look out over the trees and you're just in awe of the vastness. Just amazed at knowing what the fog is hiding in the valleys down below, you know? There's so much down there, and you know there is, but you can't see it. You just... feel it. And you feel connected to everything around you. The animals, the flowers, hell, even the mountains themselves. You feel at home, even when you're miles from it. It's... beautiful. And that's how I feel when I look at you sometimes. So, no, it's not like a woman. It's just... it's you." 

Link's quiet for a long time. A really long time, and Rhett is, too. Because, fuck, that was horribly, incredibly awkward. 

Finally, mercifully, he speaks. And Rhett's never felt more relieved in his whole god damned life. 

"You really mean that?" 

"You're stupid if you think that I'd make you out to be a fuckin' girl, man. I don't... I don't want a girl..."

There another sharp intake of breath and there's a tight grip on Rhett's forearm. Too tight. Foreboding. 

"Don't say that, Rhett."

"It's true, though. I don't have any reason to hide it." 

Even as he says it, he knows it isn't true. There's about a million reasons to hide it. His safety, firstly. His reputation. His family. His friends. His entire fucking life. 

"Yes you do. Please. Don't say that anymore. Not to me. Not to anyone else."

"I want you, though. Do you want me, too?" 

"Rhett..." 

There's tears in his eyes and in his voice. It's rough like sandpaper. Likes he's screamed his lungs bloody and raw. Like he's cried and cried and all that's left of his voice is a whisper. A ghost. 

"Do you want me, Link?" 

"I'm not gay, Rhett." 

"I didn't ask if you were. I asked... if you want me." 

There's a hitch in his voice, too. And a stinging in his eyes. Great, now he's crying as well, and they're just on the side of the road, bawling their eyes out like a couple of fucking idiots. Perfect. What a great day. 

Link's still quiet and it's the heaviest quiet that Rhett's ever sat through. It's hot and stifling and he maybe can't even breathe. Maybe he'll never breathe again and he'll die here and he won't ever have to feel this uncertainty and fucking... this fucking nightmare again. 

"Link. Please. Answer me. Please." 

He doesn't, not verbally anyway. Instead, he climbs over the center console and settles in Rhett's lap, like it's his for the taking. And really, it is. It always has been. 

His face is buried deep in Rhett's neck and he's still crying, they both are, but his arms are around Rhett's neck and Rhett's arms are around Link's waist. There's a comfort in mutual sorrow, and they're both so thankful for it. 

There's a little tickle at the joining of Rhett's throat and his shoulder, and it's moving upward. It takes a second for him to realize that he's being kissed. Somehow both chastely and sloppily all at once. A quick little press here, and then there. And then at his lips. And Rhett kisses him back. They're both still pouring with tears and if there's ever been so many conflicting emotions running through either of them, they can't think of it. 

"Link, Link wait. What's this mean? For us?" 

Link kisses him again, quick and hard. 

"It means... we do this. Just as it is. I can't... scream it from the rooftops or anything, but... can we just have this? What we already have? Please Rhett, can we just have this? Please?"

How could he tell him no? He wouldn't. He will stay patient and he will let Link chose their path. Because wherever he goes, Rhett will follow.


	13. Chapter 13

There's this thing that Link's hair does anytime he lays down. Well, actually, there's two things it does. It might go flat where the pillow rested against it, or the second option, which is how it looks now, is that it flies up every which way and it looks a little bit like he's been electrocuted. Rhett doesn't mind it. He never has. Even before... all of this... he thought it was cute. Not cute, cute, but more like an adorable little puppy. Cute. But now, it's bordering on sexy, and Rhett can't keep his fingers out of it. 

Link doesn't mind in the slightest. He's in that sweet place between being asleep and being awake. A total state of relaxation all the while still knowing what's going on around him. It's perfect. Rhett's gentle touches are heavenly. The warmth of his chest pressing to Link's back is blissful. The world is melted away and it's a puddle at his feet. His for the taking, or for the stomping, it's his choice. Everything is his choice and he feels free. Serene, even. 

"You're not fallin' asleep, now, are you?" 

Rhett's voice is right in his ear, low and rumbly. His warm breath ghosts over Link's quickly pinking cheek, and a shiver runs down his spine. 

"Was tryin' to."

"No. Nonono. You wake up. It was your idea to spend the day together. You don't get to sleep through it." 

Link rolls over to face Rhett, each a mirror image of the other with one arm tucked up under their heads, and the other tracing circles on exposed skin. Link blinks a sleepy smile onto his features, and Rhett thinks... well, he's not thinking a lot, in all honestly. Just wondering how anything ever could be so blue. 

"Don't sleep. Stay with me," he pleads, and nearly groans at how pathetic he sounds. Like a pussy whipped bitch, and that's not even a fucking option for them. 

"What'll I get if I do?" 

"Hmm. Diamonds. Gold bricks. Personal servants. That's what you asked for at Christmas, ain't it?" 

"How'd you remember? That was months ago." 

It's true, December seemed like it had happened an eternity ago. But on the other hand it seemed like it was just last week. January, February and March flew by in record time, bringing in the warm spring air of April. 

The boys are... different now, at least on some levels. The boy who was afraid is still afraid. Afraid of implications and falling for someone he knows he shouldn't. He's still convincing himself that this is just playing around. Getting off and nothing else. Lying to himself every time he closes his eyes at the end of the night and Rhett kisses the top of his head and then his lips before he falls asleep. 

The boy who pushed was still pushing, wanting, craving. Being patient and respectful. Pretending every night that as Link snuggles in to his chest that it's because he loves him and he wants to be with him. Waiting until he hears soft snores before he lets his eyes well up. 

But there's times like these, where they're both awake and they're looking at each other that they're on the same page. Where neither of them wants to be anywhere else or with anyone else. Where they're quiet and their hearts are still, eyes gazing at the other without a hint at turning away. These are the times that Rhett lives for, and Link does too, at least until they're over and he has to put his mangled fences back up. 

"Because I listen to you. I always have. Even when it got me a whoopin' at home," Rhett laughs, and Link reaches over to smack his chest, bracing himself to get one back. 

"Ain't my fault you always get us caught, brother." 

"Ain't my fault all your ideas are stupid." 

"Oh, they are, are they? You're probably right. Because I was just thinkin' about kissin' you. And that's very stupid." 

"Hey, now. Let's not get too hasty. Maybe not all of them. Just... most."

Rhett smiles again, the rounded cheeks reaching an unbelievable high, the way they make his eyes close just a little and his teeth poke through. He's got a good smile, alright? It's a happy smile. Genuine. It's one that Link can't imagine he'll ever tire of seeing, no matter the capacity of their relationship. 

"You gonna keep grinnin' like an idiot or you gonna kiss me?" 

"Gonna keep grinnin'. Cause you said you were gonna kiss me. So I'll just wait here. Anytime now... anytime." 

Link rolls his eyes as Rhett rolls to his back, hands placed comfortably under his head. He raises his eyebrows in both a question and an invite, and Link RSVP's by surging forward and pressing a kiss to Rhett's waiting mouth. He's straddling his waist with a scrambling effort, careful not to press his knees anywhere that would cause pain.

"Mph," Rhett mumbles around Link's lips. "Slow down."

Link draws up and looks like he's won something. Some sort of power over Rhett, like he couldn't handle him because Link's just too much. He likes it. Likes that he left him breathless in such a short amount of time. 

"What? Somethin' you wanna say? Spit it out, man." 

There's a lot that Rhett wants to say, even more so when Link's looking down at him like that, his teeth flashing a pearly white and his eyes shining like spotlights. But he knows that Link both doesn't want to and isn't ready to hear them, so he decides instead, is to ask:

"Go out with me?" 

"Out with you? Out where?" 

Link's leg slides from Rhett's side and he sits on the edge of the bed with his lip bitten nearly enough to draw blood. He's not looking at Rhett, and he knows that's not a good sign, but fuck, is making out in their empty little room supposed to be enough forever? 

"I don't care. Movies. Dinner. Somethin', man. I'm goin' crazy here." 

"We grab supper together all the time."

Link... Link is many things. He's smart. He's talented. Handsome. Funny. Quirky. But there's one quality that far outweigh the others, and that, undoubtedly, is exasperating. 

Rhett sighs heavily, too loudly to be anything other than over dramatically, and covers his face with his hands. 

"Link-"

"Let's not do this. Come on. We're havin' a good day."

"Yeah. And it could be better. But you're..."

Link scoffs and pulls Rhett's hands away so he can stare at him right and proper. He opens his eyes wide and shakes his head, as if to say get on with it. 

"I'm what?" 

"Nothing. Forget it." 

"No, I wanna know what you were gonna say."

"Just drop it, okay?"

There's a harshness to his words, one that doesn't come from anger, but rather sadness. Link knows he’s the reason for the pain, he does, but it’s not like he’s enjoying this. He doesn’t lay his head down at the end of the night and think up ways to make Rhett cry. He doesn’t, and he wouldn’t ever even dream of something so disgusting. But Rhett wants and wants, always more. He always has. Gotten one thing and on to the next. But we’ve already established that he’s more adaptable. Link needs time. 

Time to think. Time to sort through a fuck ton of shit that he’s not really capable of doing right now. But what he can do, is make Rhett feel good. Maybe not emotionally. But he can physically. 

Even the thought is making all sorts of alarm bells go off. Do not. No touching. Don’t even think about it. 

He wants to listen. He wants to back away and apologize and tell Rhett they can’t do this. He wants to go find the nearest willing girl and fuck her till they both fall asleep from exhaustion. But... fuck, why can’t he? 

Because Rhett’s looking up at him like his whole world is crashing around in tattered little pieces. Because what should be pristine white surrounding a hazy green is a quickly darkening pink. Because his perfect little bottom lip is quivering and he’s fighting to keep his eyes on Link. 

So, Link wants to make him feel good. Physically, because he can’t any other way. 

“Shh, baby. Don’t cry. I’m here.” 

Link’s really sweet when he wants to be. It’s not a fake attempt, either. He sees Rhett and his heart is breaking for his boy. He made him sad, and he needs to fix it the only way he knows how. By climbing back in his lap and kissing him hard. Kissing away the tears from his eyes and licking the salt from his cheeks. It’s a weird gesture, sure, and sort of gross, but it’s all he has and it’s all he can do. 

“You mean so much to me, you know that, Rhett? My best friend.” 

He’s kissing his lips now, and Rhett’s kissing him back, his dulled and jagged fingernails are ripping into Link’s shoulder blades like the skin there has personally offended him. But it’s okay, I mean, he sort of deserves this. So he’ll let Rhett hurt him just like Link’s hurting him. 

He pulls away just long enough to take his shirt off and toss it uncharacteristically onto the floor, and he’s back down again. It‘s an opportunity for Rhett, whether he knows it or not, to hurt Link more. He took the barrier away and he’s throwing himself on the sword if it’ll make Rhett feel better. 

He trails wet, hot kisses down Rhett’s jaw and licks a stripe on his neck, circling the collar of his t-shirt before he tugs at the hemline at the bottom. 

“Lift up. Take this off.” 

Rhett does, and Link’s right back where he left off, though this time unimpeded by cotton. He tongues down Rhett’s chest, and can feel the quick heartbeat below his ribs. He presses one, two, three quick kisses where he feels it the most, and Rhett’s not crying anymore. He’s looking at Link, so hungry, and Link’s going to let himself be devoured. 

He trails down exposed ribs and protruding hips, skims over his belly button and stops at the waistline of his jogging pants and raises an eyebrow. He’s asking if he can without saying it out loud, because although he and Rhett have gotten a little handsy, both above and beneath their clothes, this isn’t something they’ve ventured into. 

Rhett nods and licks his lips, planting his feet flat and using his legs to hoist up his hips so that Link can slowly drag the fabric down his thighs. Both sets of lungs are stuttering at the newly exposed flesh, but there’s not time to think about that now. 

“I wanna make you feel good. Can I do that for you?” Link asks with his cheek pressed to the pale skin of Rhett’s left thigh. 

“Please, baby, please.” 

Link smiles, sweet as anything as he kisses the skin there, slowly and without looking away. He presses another few in quick succession as he gets closer to his target. 

He feels a little sick, knowing, just knowing in his heart that he’s really about to commit a mortal sin, but more so than that, he’s feeling excited. Hot at the prospect of Rhett being in his mouth, so much so that he’s whimpering and grinding at the mattress beneath him, and Rhett can’t think of a single time he’s seen something look so good. 

All thoughts of this being so fucking wrong are pushed out the window with his first tentative lick at the head. Rhett’s hips do this funny little jump and he makes this high pitched sound that comes more from his throat, and Link’s hooked. He does it again and again, until the movements die down and he knows he got to go for more. 

He’s gotten a few rounds of oral in his time. Mostly in high school from a couple of very inexperienced girls, but he thinks of what he likes best and tries his hardest to imitate it. 

He starts at the base and drags his flat tongue to the tip and back down. And back up again before he engulfs it fully in his mouth. For a second he sits there, thinking, Jesus, I actually have a dick in my mouth right now. But then Rhett whimpers again, and he remembers that he should probably move. 

The taste is... not great, but it’s not bad. It’s a lot like nothing, and he supposes he should be thankful for that, knows it could be a hell of a lot worse. He’s got a gag reflex that’s stronger than steel, but he’s not gagging now, and that should say something, right? Like his body wants this and so he should want it, too. 

He head swoops lower and Rhett rises to meet him halfway, and they work like this for a while before Link introduces his hand into the mix. It’s settled near the base and works in time with his mouth. Up and down. And up and down. He’s new at this, he doesn’t have any skills to speak of. He just hopes that it’s halfway decent and hopes that his teeth don’t leave Rhett scraped and bloody. 

It’s not long before Rhett’s tapping his shoulder quickly, and while Link’s mouth moves away, his hand does not. He aims toward the side of the bed but keeps his pace, and soon Rhett’s whole body tenses up like he’s being electrocuted and Link’s task is finished. 

Rhett looks at him like he just hung the moon, and there’s a swell of pride that comes along with... coming. Or more specifically, knowing that someone else came because of you. 

“Where’d you learn to do that? You got a boyfriend I don’t know about?” 

Rhett’s words are slurred, and if he didn’t look like he was damn near halfway drunk Link would have punched him for that remark, but he lets him get away with it. This time. 

“Just wanted to show you that you matter... how was it?”

“Good. Great. Fuckin’ phenomenal.” 

Link can’t hide the satisfied grin, and Rhett can’t either. He pulls Link in by the back of his neck and kisses his soiled lips without so much as batting an eye. 

“You know where my mouth has been?” 

“Mhmm. And I don’t care.”

Link settles back on Rhett’s chest, forgetting about his own need and focusing on keeping Rhett taken care of. He never wants to see him sad ever again, and if he has to do this everyday, he will. 

“You okay now, bo?” Link asks hopefully. 

“No. But I feel a little better.” 

It’s not the answer that he was hoping for, but it’s something. It’s a start. 

“I’m not worth those tears, Rhett. Save ‘em for someone that’s good for ‘em.” 

Rhett doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t. It’s stupid, and Link’s stupid, but fuck, does he want him. 

“You are. Always have been and always will be, so shut up,” Rhett tells him sternly and twists to his side. “Now, you gonna let me return the favor?”


	14. Chapter 14

Listen, the air conditioning of a darkened movie theater in mid August is a fucking treat. You spend all day outside sweating your ass off and pulling your shirt from your sweat soaked back, you come to appreciate a moment of getting out of the humidity. And the dark? Oh, yes please, the dark. The sun's been shining down stronger than ever, it seems, and the opportunity to rest their scorched retinas is far too good to pass up. Link doesn't even bother to figure out the movie that they're seeing, he's just happy to be there. 

There's a large, super buttery pop corn in his lap, and an ice cold coke in the holder, and life's not too bad. They're settled in the back of the theater, the very last row, because... well, you know. There's certain... activities that go on in the back, things that you can't very well do in the front where prying eyes are sure to see something that they just don't wanna see. 

Link can smell Rhett's sweat from next to him, thick and musky, but not entirely revolting. It's a familiar smell, one he's become aquatinted with after fourteen summers of playing on the river bank, fourteen years of sleepovers, and an entire year of sharing a dorm room with him. 

It helps him feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Like now, when he's very clearly in public, and the lights have only just dimmed but there's a mouth on his neck. There's sloppy kisses trailing from the artery up to his lightly stubbles jaw and to his mouth. There's a hand on his cheek, pulling him to meet the lips, and okay, maybe it's not so bad. He kisses back, and works his tongue into the eagerly awaiting mouth. 

He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns to the source, scowling at the man to his left for breaking them up. 

"What's your problem, man?" Link asks in a snarl. 

"Just thought you should come up for air before you drown." 

"Shut up. Mind your own business." 

He turns back around, embolden by his audience and kisses more deeply, with more passion and he realizes that he's almost putting on a show. 

But it feels good. It feels right. It feels like he doesn't have anything to be ashamed of. Because she's not him. 

Rhett shouldn't be worried about what Link's doing anyway, he brought his own girl. If he had half a brain he'd lean in and do just the same as Link. He needs to. For both of their sakes. 

It's not that Rhett doesn't like Lisa. She's pretty enough and really kind. She's a good girl, a good catch. She's got long legs and she's not afraid to show them. She's got black hair that sits above her waist and big brown eyes that could probably convince you to give her your soul. But she's not exactly his type, now is she? 

Melanie is Link's type well enough, though. She's tall and graceful and her lips are perfectly plump. She's got curves for days in all of the right places. All of the places that his hands want to be. Her hair is to her shoulders, a dark amber color that picks up highlights from the sun that seem to give it an almost fiery sheen. And those eyes, those eyes are his favorite. A deep, hazy green that sometimes come off as grey in the right lighting. He thinks they're the prettiest he's ever seen, and he'd stare at them all day if he could. And some days he does. 

He's been with her for three months already, having met her right at the beginning of summer. When they got together he knew, he just knew that she was exactly what he'd needed. She was funny and smart and smokin' hot. She was a good distraction from Rhett for all of two minutes. 

He thought that she would help him to stop whatever it was that they had going on. Stop him from kissing and touching his best friend. That lasted for three weeks before he found himself sitting in Rhett's lap nearing the beginning of June, kissing all over his face and telling him how much he missed him. 

Rhett let him. He let him because he missed him, too, and those three weeks were probably the worst of his life. Not only did Link have a girlfriend, but he was trying to pretend that nothing had ever happened between he and Rhett, and that was the worst thing he could have done to him. 

So for the last two months (and one week) Link would spend his days with his girl and the nights with his boy. Not that Rhett was his boy, but he sure knew how to use his mouth. And Link wanted it. At least until he woke up the next morning and the guilt crept back in. But that was the rhythm that they'd set, and that they'd maintained all through the summer. 

Rhett started dating Lisa at Link's urging sometime toward the beginning of July. "Come on, it'll help you. Just have a little bit of normalcy, brother," he'd told him. But Rhett didn't have a grace period with her. Never gave her the opportunity to be the only one, because right after he'd given her a quick and chaste kiss after their first date, he drove straight to Link's mom's house where he was staying for the summer, and gave him a much longer, much less innocent kiss. One that went on until the sun had nearly risen and they'd had to stop simply because they were too tired to carry on. 

Link manages to catch Rhett's eye again halfway through the movie. His arm is slung over the back of her chair and his fingers are threading through her hair. She sighs and leans into his chest, and Link watches Rhett's soft smile fall as he sees it. 

He's decent enough not to have mentioned how hurt he is by the whole ordeal. Tells Link to be safe and have fun as he's on his way out the door every morning. Welcomes him into his bed when he comes back home, sometimes marked up and reeking of someone else.

But it hurts. It hurts a whole heck of a lot. Times like this, when he sees their bodies lined up so well, he can't help but think that his and Link's line up so much better, and if Link would just pull his head out of his ass, he'd see it too. He turns away instead of dwelling on it and nuzzles into Lisa's neck, and she giggles and lets him. 

The girls are both invited back to their dorm after the movie, because of course they are. Time spent with them is not time spent alone, for one of them to pine for more while the other hates himself for giving in to his urges. Unfortunately, Melanie can't make it, but Lisa can, and she's so looking forward to spending more time with Rhett. 

Because Rhett's great and handsome, so perfect and sOoO tall. And it irritates Link, okay? It's fucking annoying. When Rhett heard that Melanie couldn't make it, he should have told her not to come. Should have just said she could stop by some other time. But no. She's coming too and Link's going to be a third wheel who can't sleep because there's bound to be some nasty noises coming from the bottom bunk. 

He's pleasantly surprised though, when instead of going into their small two person room, Rhett suggests catching a show in their common living space and invites Link to join them. He does, hesitantly so, but only because what else would he do? 

So despite the fact that they'd just come back from the theater, the three of them are perched on the couch for VHS and chill, with Rhett in the middle practically laying on his girl while Link sits at the far end. He's willing himself to keep his distance, to not reach out and touch Rhett's arm or his leg or something, because he's not Link's to touch right now. He's hers, and she's staking a claim without even knowing she's doing so. 

Rhett's got this breathless little laugh he does when Link bites at his neck, and when he hears it come from beside him his head snaps to see her sucking at him like she's a vampire about to starve. He's horrified. It's just, like, it's undignified. And Rhett's just letting it go on while Link's right there? 

And not only is he letting it go on but he's practically encouraging it. He's moaning and squirming like he's about to come in his fucking pants, and Link is so far beyond done with this. He's up and on his feet without a word, casting a final glance over his shoulder as he heads to their room. 

And boy, does he wish he hadn't. Rhett's already sprawled out, having taken advantage of the vacated seat. He's on top of her and his palm is already sliding down her belly like he's gonna fuck her right there on the couch. Link can't look away. It's fucking sick and he knows it, that he's watching. It's wrong, but Rhett's hand is dipping into the waistband of her shorts and he's moving his hips against hers like he's already inside of her. She's a slut, clearly, to let him do this on a couch where he and their two other roommates could be privy to the whole situation. Her mama didn't raise her right and that means she ain't good enough for Rhett. 

He slams the door hard when he finally drags his eyes and stomach away from the little display. What the actual hell is their problem? Don't they know that other people live here? It's fucking rude. She's turning Rhett into a rude, inconsiderate fuck wad, and Link hates her. Hates her dumb fucking face and her hair that's far, far too long to even look good. He hates the moans that he hears reverberating through the door. Hates that it's not his own voice that's making the sounds. Hates that Melanie couldn't come. Hates hates hates. 

He misses Rhett. Misses when it could just be the two of them hanging out and kissing like that. Misses when they'd do more. Sure, they'd just been together the night before, with mouthes and hands, but that was last night and this is now. And he wants more. Now.

It seems like forever before the noises stop. He wasn't listening to be weird, he's not creepy. He tried to drown it out with the radio and with reading, but no matter what he did it was all he could focus on. That, and the feel of Rhett's pillow beneath his head. 

When Rhett finally comes back in the room, looking sweaty and flushed, he gives a curt nod to Link before grabbing his shower caddy and towel. 

"You comin' right back after?" Link asks, and hopes his voice isn't too scratchy. 

"Mhmm. See ya."

To Rhett, Link is probably acting a bit strange. He's a little too needy with his words. A little too disappointed when Rhett says he'll be back. But he doesn't care. Rhett's seen him do worse. And that's why, despite not being invited, he stays on the bottom bunk and waits. Five, ten, fifteen minutes go by and still Rhett isn't back, and Link's starting to think that he's being avoided.  Maybe he should climb back up top, turn his back to the door and try for sleep. 

But just as he stands up, the soft click of the door is heard and Rhett's standing in front of his with a towel around his waist and his caddy in his hand. 

"You're back."

"No where else to be," Rhett chuckles and puts his stuff back down in it's place.

There's not a lot of modesty left between them as of late, and Rhett lets his towel fall from his hips and land in a heap at his feet. He’s almost concerned that Link doesn’t immediately chastise him for his carelessness, and as he pulls on a pair of loose fitting shorts, he turns and catches a hint at his tied tongue. 

Link’s eyes trail upward when he realizes that Rhett’s looking in his direction, though his gaze drags up slowly as if it’s catching on every hardened line of his body. It sends a little thrill through him to be regarded in such a way; a way that screams hunger and want and need. 

“Whatcha lookin’ at, buddy?” He’s teasing, joking and hoping to get a little rise out of Link, a little playful banter that’ll end in a fit of giggles, but Link isn’t playing along. 

In fact, he’s not even smiling, and if Rhett’s not mistaken by the dimmed lighting given off by a small desk lamp, his eyes are welling up and his bottom lip is quivering. 

“Oh gosh. You okay?” 

Link shakes his head and makes a move to climb to his own bed, but Rhett’s long legs lead him across the room in just a few short strides and he’s got his hands on Link’s shoulders and he’s spinning him around to face him. 

“Leave me alone, Rhett.” 

“No. Not until you tell me what’s’a matter.” 

He must really be stupid, Link thinks. How is it not obvious? Well, if Rhett’s stupid, Link is, too, because of course Rhett wouldn’t know. Link’s played himself off to be too cool, too detached. He was the one, after all, that suggested Rhett get a girlfriend and focus his efforts on someone else. 

“I heard...”

“Heard what, Link?” 

He’s really going to make him say it? Why on earth could he never catch on to context clues? 

“You and her... I heard...” 

He can’t finish the thought; it hurts far too badly. It’s like this white hot pain, okay, and it’s ripping into his chest and squeezing his heart like it’s in a vice grip. It’s stopping the blood flow and it’s going to kill him if it doesn’t let up soon. He’s going to fade away and soon he won’t be anything but a memory for Rhett, and it hurts even more to think that it probably won’t even be a fond memory. 

“Oh,” Rhett nods. He understands. But Link... Link’s not exactly the picture of chastity, either. He’s been with his girl for a while now, and things have happened. He’s even told Rhett about them, and each time he’d mentioned it, it made him sick to his stomach. Oh. OH. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to...”

He finds that his body moves mostly on its own. It pulls itself to Link like it needs him just as much as his soul does. By the time Link’s face is pressed into his neck, there’s already hot tears dampening Rhett’s skin, searing it and surely leaving it permanently scarred. It’s like acid, eating away at him as much as the pitiful sounds of his cries are. 

Rhett leans back just far enough to press kiss after kiss to his cheek, hoping to soothe away his pain the best that he knows how. If Link hurts, Rhett hurts, and he wants better for the both of them. 

“I’m just so sorry, Rhett. I’m so, so sorry.” 

Though he doesn’t say it, Rhett’s sorry, too. Sorry that Link doesn’t know what he wants. Sorry that he’s the reason for his crying. He’s just sorry. 

“Shh. Don’t say anything, okay?” 

As much as he wants for Link to tell him that he’s made up his mind and that things will be better, he know it’s not true. Knows that if Link does actually say those things, he’ll regret them in the morning and Rhett will be more heavily damaged from that little glimmer of hope being ripped away. So instead, he insists on silence. But when has Link ever done what was asked of him?

“I want you to have me. The way that you had her.”

Have him? Like have him to be his? Surely Link isn’t asking to be his boyfriend. Link wouldn’t. He’s too scared and too macho and too this and too that to ask for something so big. 

“What do you mean, man?”

Link steps away from him, wiping at his eyes and looking at him with more of a plea than Rhett’s ever seen. Have his eyes always been so fucking blue? He’s noticed them before, obviously, but now? Fuck, the way he’s looking at Rhett might as well reduce him to fucking ash, it’s that intense. 

“I want you... to make love to me.” 

And Rhett does.


	15. Chapter 15

It shouldn't be a surprise that Link knows just what to do to make Rhett's entire body tingle from the inside. Link's been fucking Rhett and Rhett's been fucking Link for nearly an entire year by now. And yet, Rhett still can't believe that Link can make his skin sing like he's the only one that can. 

If Rhett were to grip the headboard any harder it would surely snap, sending a cascade of stained splinters around his pillow. His knuckles are an astounding shade of white, but the rest of him is a vibrant shade of red, and Link loves it. Loves the feel of his body shaking with each thrust. Loves the way his breath hitches as he tries to keep quiet. Loves how responsive Rhett is to him. 

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good," Link groans, mindful of his volume, but Rhett feels each word as if it were screamed at him. 

There's a swirl of hips, one that comes with practice, that comes from knowing exactly where each sensitive little nerve is in your partner, and Rhett's helpless to the moan that leaves him, high pitched and breathy. 

"Listen to you. You love it just as much as I do, huh? You like being beneath me." 

It's not a question, because Link already knows the answer. It's been discussed time and time again, who likes what. It was decided long ago that they'd see where the night took them, to determine who took on what role.

Rhett doesn't mind either way. If he's honest, he sure loves the sounds that Link makes when he hits... right there... but looking up at him now, how could he want anything but his? 

Link's hips are rolling like that's what they were made to do. He's got one hand on Rhett, just to keep him where he wants him, and one hand slated in the over head beams that support his bunk. His eyes are closed but his mouth is open. He's a picture of everything good and unearthly holy. He's strong. He's in control and determined and so, so fucking sexy when he's lost in himself. 

"Link, yeah, fuck me just like that." 

Rhett knows what to say to get Link really going. Call it practice, call it an innate sense of what the other needs. Call it what you will, but Rhett knows Link, and with his words Link's movements change from a sensual roll to a hardened snap, and it takes Rhett's breath away. 

His eyes pop open in a sea of determined icy blue, and his hand rips away from the bunk and lands on Rhett's shoulder, as does the other. He's using the leverage to pound into him, and both are close to their sought after high. 

"You like taking it, huh? You like it. I know you do." 

Link's voice comes out in a growl, like he's not entirely himself, but Rhett loves it anyway. He loves Link. He loves when Link let's itself go this way. When he's less a man and more an animal, one that lets himself has what he wants. Or rather, takes what he wants in the best way. 

"Only for you," Rhett tells him sincerely, and devours the look on Link's face as his eyes turn up and his mouth gasps for air. 

"You're so good, Link," he tells him, praising him and knowing that Link relishes it, even if he won't admit it. 

"You know just what I like. You're perfect. So good. Fuck, you move so good, baby." 

Rhett's hands leave the white knuckles grasp on the headboard and find Link's shoulder blades, drawing down with extended fingernails. He's careful not to leave any long lasting marks, but he presses hard enough to leave his skin pink and flush with his touch.

That little tinge of pain sets Link alight, just as Rhett knew it would. The bed springs beg for mercy below them, but neither of them can think much past pounding and taking. 

"You're... you're... Fuck, Link. I'm not gonna... ah, be able to walk after..."

Link knows. That's why he's doing it. That funny little waddle that Rhett does at times makes him proud. He did that. He nearly breaks him and Rhett's quick to ask for more. It's a fun game. 

"Uh huh. I want your flavor of the week to see that you need a man to take care'a you. Isn't that right? Huh?" 

Link's babbling. It's hot in the moment, they both know that. It makes good sex great, amazing even. But Link wouldn't ever say those things if he weren’t buried inside him. Link is still Link, for the most part anyway. 

He's still got his girl, dating her for over a year now, and things are pretty serious. Not serious enough for him to stay out of Rhett's bed, or out of Rhett, for that matter, but serious enough. 

Rhett's never settled on anyone longer than a few months. And though he explains that no one's really caught his eye, he knows it's because they're not Link. They're fun for a while, but the novelty wears off quickly and he can't get his heart to feel the way it does for him for anyone else. It's frustrating. It's the fucking worst. It's ache and it's pain and it's constant reminders that he's half of a whole, and his other half is within reaching distance, but he doesn't want to be grabbed. 

"Yeah. I need you to... to take care of me."

He's babbling, too, because that's what Link wants, and that's what Link is going to get. Now, don't take it the wrong way, Rhett gets a lot out of this relationship, too. Link tells him that he loves him, and Rhett knows he means it. Link couldn't and wouldn't lie about something like that. 

It's just, he can't really be with Rhett, not really. Neither one of them should really ever consider giving up their lives for each other. It'd surely be social, moral, and damn near actual suicide. 

Link's come a long way. He doesn't exactly love himself, he's got a lot to be regretful over. But he can admit that he was just a dumb fucking kid this time last year. He didn't know what he wanted or how to even start looking, even though the answer was obvious. So, he's not exactly straight. At least not when it comes to jumping in bed. Sometimes his head loses and his body wins. Okay, whatever. It's not like he's going to marry a man. No, just every once in a while it's kind of nice... to not be with a woman. He'd for sure never be this rough with a girl, but he knows Rhett can take it.

"Tell me you love it, Rhett. Tell me you want it."

Rhett’s words are stuck in the back of his throat, squished in between a moan and a yell. He wants to tell Link everything he wants to hear, wants to tell him that yes, he loves it, yes he wants it, oh fuck yes, he needs it. 

Link stares down at him, the way his mouth opens and closes without any words coming out. His eyes are pinched so tight that they may never open again, and god damn is he ever beautiful. He’s perfect. He’s wonderful and smart and kind and so, so beautiful. Link swivels, just the way Rhett likes, and pushes the both of them so close to the edge. 

Link’s a good and attentive lover. He’s not just chasing his own release, he wants Rhett to feel it too. He takes him in his hand, working him at the same pace he’s set, and watches closely as Rhett’s eyes roll back, just before his own do the same. 

He falls forward in a helpless, sweaty and exhausted heap, drawing himself out of Rhett and settling on his chest. Rhett’s arms wrap around him and rub gently up and down his spine. He’s warm. He’s soft. He’s so sweet. 

There are times, usually times just like this when Link lets his imagination run wild, when he pretends that he’s Rhett’s and Rhett’s his. It’s a nice little picture. Storybook, almost. 

Boy meets boy, too young to know where this would lead. Boy befriends boy. Boy watches boy grow and learn and laugh. Boy notices how boy changes as he grows. Boy’s love grows along with their changing bodies. Boy kisses boy. Boy fucks boy, touches boy, loves boy. He loves him. He does. 

Maybe later man will love man enough to get married. Man will buy a house with man. Start a family. Live in the suburbs and go to barbecues and block parties. Man will kiss man where everyone can see and scream it from the rooftops. Man will grow old with man. Man will die having been loved his whole life. 

But that’s just a story. A picture he’s painted in his mind. This is the real world, where things don’t have such a nice and tidy bow on top. This is the real world where others are cruel and mean and hateful. They can’t be together. Not like that. So Link will take these little moments of bliss. 

He stretches up and kisses at Rhett’s neck, listening to the contented little hum that he gets in reply. 

“I love you, bo,” he tells him quietly, and even from his vantage point he can see the smile that it gives Rhett. 

“I love you, too.” 

Rhett lives his life from hearing Link say that til he will again. It’s always during times like this, always when they’re wrapped up in each other. But it’s okay, he still says it, and Rhett knows he means it. 

He hugs Link a little tighter while he still can, praying for sleep to stay away. He knows as soon as he wakes up he’ll be alone again, and Link will be somewhere far away, even if he’s still in the same room. 

“I’ve gotta get goin’, baby,” Link tells him, and there’s a little twinge of sadness in his voice, but that’s nothing new. It’s there more and more when he talks to Rhett, and it kills him a little more each time he hears it. 

“You could just stay.” 

Even as he says it, he knows Link won’t. He’ll go, be with his girl, be his outward persona. It’s who he thinks he needs to be. It’s tough to see him go, but he knows he’ll come back. And he’ll be right here waiting. 

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Link dodges his suggestion in favor of standing up and stretching. He grabs his pile of clothes and sides them on, one leg at a time. One arm at a time. Then one sock and one shoe, and soon he’s dressed and standing at the door. He looks back, tapping his knuckles on the wood and nodding to Rhett before the door is closed and he’s gone again.


	16. Chapter 16

Link feels like absolute shit, probably the worst he's ever felt. He's low. He's so fucking low and disgusting. He's always been a bit on the selfish side, though up until now it hasn't caused him too much grief. But man, when it hits, it hits hard. 

It's really all he can think about; Rhett's face. That forlorn lost little puppy look he had when Link told him he couldn't go out for his birthday. The eyes that were always so ready for laughter were crinkled, blinking back tears like it wasn't any big deal. Like Link was forgiven for all his sins just so long as Rhett didn't cry. 

Instead, he'd slapped him on the back and told him to have fun anyway, they could maybe do something another time. It was his twenty first, he probably wouldn't be able to remember it anyway. And plus, Link was only twenty. Not like he could get in anyway, never mind the fact that he’d already been to a bar or two in his time thanks to his smooth talking and open flirting. It didn’t matter, though. Link wasn't his only friend, not by a long shot. He had a line of others that were ready to buy him celebratory shot after shot. He didn't really need Link. He just wanted him. 

Link has played this game before and that's why he declined. Alcohol makes for poor decisions based on irrational emotions. Alcohol makes his heart as heavy as lead and makes Rhett cry harder and harder each time, and it's just... he's selfish, okay? He didn't want to go down that rabbit hole of Jim Beam flavored 'what ifs?'

He told Rhett that he had somewhere to be, but that was a lie. He was alone in his truck driving aimlessly, a past time favorite of his. Field after field passed by him in a blur, curve after curve taken too quickly to be anywhere near safe, and the whole time all he could think about was exactly what he was avoiding; feelings. 

Feelings. Memories. Too many to count, stemming back from when he was still losing baby teeth. And they all, every single one of them had him in it. Most of them were happy, with Rhett's booming laughter providing the soundtrack. Some of them were a little steamier, with his low moans sounding clearly. And then there was earlier today, when he looked at Link like he was the absolute worst person that ever was. And with good reason, because he agreed.

He's trying to be better. Really, he is. It's not like he wants to play with Rhett, to give him some false hope dangled on a string. No, he's told Rhett from the beginning what this is and what it isn't. But Rhett's persistent, and every time he kisses Link good bye and his touch lingers a little longer than the last... he knows Rhett's getting in too deep, and Link isn't playing fair. He's too stubborn to break it off, too selfish to tell Rhett to stop. He's letting his best friend break himself apart piece by piece, and he knows that this can't end well. 

He's trying to be better. He's fucking trying, for both of their sakes. And that's why he's standing in the bakery of some shitty little grocery store. He can't afford much, but he can afford something. He looks at baked good after baked good, pastry after pastry, but none of them seem right. And it's stupid, really, because Rhett's gonna eat it in a single bite and lick his fingers after. He won't even have tasted it before it’s settling in his belly. 

He settles on a generously iced cupcake. One that's vanilla with green frosting. Who knows if this is what he'd have picked, but it's colored a little bit like nature, and maybe he'll like that. He gets that, a single candle to go on top and  stupid little balloon that looks like its meant more for a five year old, but what the fuck? Rhett's immature anyway. 

He's just got one more stop to make and he'll head home. 

He's exhausted by the time he trudges up to their dorm, both physically and mentally. His face is a bright red, his nose is supremely stuffed and his chest hurts like it's about to self immolate. 

But he feels good, nonetheless. Better than he has in a while. Like, like he can take a breath and actually get oxygen. It's, wow, it's kind of amazing. It's almost a high. 

It's not at all a surprise that his room is empty; it's only nearing eleven. Bars don't close for another few hours, and Link is assuming that Rhett will be gone for at least that long. Doesn't matter, he only needs enough time to tie that pathetic little ballon to the bottom bunk and voila, instant room decor. 

There's little to do to pass the time. He takes a long shower and scrubs head to toe twice. He reads. He studies. He watches tv. He gives up hope that Rhett's ever coming home sometime around four, but just as he's about to turn the light off, the door shuffles open and in walks, well, stumbles, the man of the hour. 

"Whoa, hey buddy. You need some help?"

Link's at his side and grabbing onto his arm before he can answer, which, judging by the way he rips free of the grip was the exact wrong thing to do. 

"Don' touch me, Link." 

He says his name like it's poison on his tongue and he's trying to spit it out. Link deserves it, he knows he does, but it hurts anyway. He did this, made him feel this way. Fuck, he wouldn't blame him if he punched him square in the jaw. 

He takes a few steps back with his hands up in defeat, and forces himself to stay still even when it seems impossible that Rhett's still upright. 

"Didja have fun, bo?" 

Rhett scoffs as if Link's never said anything so unbelievably stupid in his life. Why does he always ask the... the dumbest quest...ions? He jus'... well, he's stupid! He never knows what Rhett wants. He... Rhett went out. And drank a lot. Really, really a lot. Of different things. And even so, he's not half as dumb as this dumbass in front of him. 

"Yeah. Was'a blast," Rhett slurs back, his words dripping with sarcasm. "Y'should've come. But you always gotta stick up your ass."

"You're right. I should've come. It was shitty of me not to." 

Well, okay, yeah. It was. But, uh, it kind of takes a bit of the anger away, and that's horse shit. He wants to be mad. Link fucked him over, man. He's been fucking him and fucking him over for what feels like forever now. He should know it. 

"Yeah. Yeah it was, man. M'birthday? You... fuggin' dipped out on me." 

"I know I did. I'm tryin' to tell you that I'm sorry." 

Rhett regards him with watchful eyes, imploring him to go on. He needs to hear some words of healing, needs to know why Link thinks it's okay to treat anyone like that, especially him. 

"G'on, then. Apologize."

"Can we maybe sit? You're a little unsteady on your feet there, brother." 

Link gestures to Rhett's bunk, but Rhett chooses the chair at their desk. It has arms, so it's better than nothing, Link thinks. He sits down in the edge of the bunk bed and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares at the floor as if it may write the words for him, but he's left on his own here. 

"Rhett, I'm really sorry. I didn't... I shouldn't have done that. I feel awful, really, I do." 

"Y'should. I don' feel sorry for you."  

Link nods his agreement. He doesn't feel sorry for himself, either. Just hatred. As usual. 

"I should've been there with you. It's just... I got in my own head, you know? I let myself talk myself out of it, and it's only because I'm a freakin' jackass." 

Rhett's chewing at the inside of his cheek again, a habit that Link's noticed him participating in more and more lately. And it only seems to be when the two of them are alone. He can't tell if it's because he's stopping himself from saying something he doesn't want to, or if it's because of something else. No matter what, he knows it's because of him. 

"It's a big birthday for you. I'm sorry if I ruined it. I'm good at that, huh? Ruining things." 

"Yeah. You are." 

The words, though few, are a punch to the gut, and all at once Link feels that same old burning sting at his eyes. He presses the palms of his hands to them, willing the tears to stay away, because that can only make it worse. Make it seem like he really does feel sorry for himself. It feels insincere somehow. 

"Did I ruin us, Rhett? Ruin what we have?" 

His words come out as jagged as the creek rocks back home, sharp and worn from years of abuse. They're coarse and gritty and hearing them makes it harder to keep the tears at bay. 

"What do we have, Link?"

God, he was avoiding drinking for this very reason, and though he's stone cold sober, here he is. With his heart in his throat and his brain about to explode where it sits rattled in his skull. 

"I love you," is really all he can think to say. It's all he has and it's all he can offer right now. 

"No you don't. Y'don' care 'bout me at all, Link." 

His voice hasn't cracked as Link's has, but it's quiet and dull and the opposite of everything that Rhett normally embodies. It's almost as bad as if he were to sob and collapse in on himself. 

He couldn't have said anything worse if he tried. If he really thinks that... then god... 

He's on his knees now, in front of Rhett, with his hands on his thighs and his eyes begging Rhett to look at him. He does, and he's frowning. An awful look for someone who's usually so happy. 

"Listen to me. I love you. I do. I fuckin' hate it that you don't believe me. I'm so, so fucking sorry that you don't."

Rhett's not looking at him anymore. He's looking everywhere but where Link wants him to. He wants him to look at him and see that he means everything that he says. See that he's serious in his regret. That he knows he's done wrong and knows that he doesn't want to hurt him anymore. 

"Yeah, well m'sorry that you don't know how to show it, too," Rhett mumbles and pushes Link away from him. He stands up and makes his way to his bed, stopping for only a minute to look at that sad attempt at a gift, that fucking ballon. He shakes his head and climbs in, not bothering to even take his shoes off. He's ready for the world to go away, just for a little while. 

"Rhett, I broke up with her. I left Mel. I can't be with her." 

He didn't plan on blurting it out like this. He meant to ease into it, to tell him, look, no pressure, but I kinda wanna explore this a little more. Not that he'd thought all that much about it. He didn't even know he was going I break up with her until he saw her earlier. He just went to her dorm, after the grocery store, and... boom, he was telling her he couldn't do it anymore and walking right back out. 

Rhett sits up so fast that his head would have spun even if he wasn't running well over the legal limit. His mouth is open as he appraises the words, trying them out in his mind to decide if what he'd heard had been real. 

"Why'd you do that?"

"Because I love you, and I'm tryin' to show you. Just like I said."

Link finds the strength in his legs to climb up to his bunk and settles in uncomfortably. Rhett needs his space now, and though Link wants nothing more than to climb in his bed, he can give him that. Grant him that one little thing since he's proven that he can't provide anything else in the way of comfort. 

He doesn't sleep well. Not by a long shot. Every time he feels himself dozing he snaps out of it, worried that Rhett may want to talk or get sick, or fuck, even pack his bags and head for the hills. His body can't relax, he's too afraid for the morning. 

When the clock on the end table reads 9am, he decides he's had enough tossing and turning and slides down the length of the bed, landing nimbly on his feet. Rhett's still there, mouth open and breathing deeply. If Link didn't know any better, he'd say that Rhett was having the best sleep of his life, comfortable and cocooned by his blanket. But he's not, because Link took that from him. 

He only has one little card left up his sleeve. One little, minuscule way to try and salvage their friendship. He pulls the cupcake from the mini fridge where he'd left it and sticks the candle in the top. 

There's a pack of matches, left over from some diner across town in the drawer, and he flicks it easily against the rough starter and presses the flame to the wick. He sits next to Rhett gently, ready to yank the food from his face should he be hung over, and shakes his shoulder. 

"Rhett, hey, can you wake up for a minute?" 

Link's voice is barely considered a whisper, hoarse from lack of sleep and strained from the rawness of his throat. He threads his fingers through the short tussle of hair, and smiles sweetly when Rhett's eyes finally pop open in a bleary shade of pink.

"Whatta ya want, man? I'm sleepin'."

The southern drawl of a man that's in between worlds is unmatched, and this is no exception. Link should have other priorities, but hearing that sweet lilt in his voice feels like home. It feels like sitting on the front porch on a warm summer night and counting the stars. Like wading through the creeks and starting campfires. It's everything, and he can't help but smile. 

"I didn't get to tell you happy birthday properly yesterday. So..." he gestures toward the cake in his hand and held it out proudly. But Rhett looks anything but appreciative. 

"You're fucking kidding me with that, right?"

“I... thought you might like it.”

Rhett sits up and laughs, though there’s nothing comparable to humor in the sound. It’s hateful and sarcastic, it’s the exact opposite of what Link was praying for. But really, what good has praying ever done anyway? 

“Lemme get this straight, here. So you treat me worse than shit on your shoe for over a fucking year. A year, Link! And then, you fuckin’ ditch me on my birthday. And you have the fucking nerve to come at me with your tail tucked and a shitty little cupcake and think that all is forgiven? Boy, you’re somethin’ else, ain’t’cha?” 

Link sits quietly and lets him finish. He wouldn’t dare interrupt him right now. Rhett has this method when he’s mad. He insults and yells and says all sorts of nasty things, but then the anger runs out and he feels better. Link can be his verbal punching bag for a little bit. He deserves that much. 

“I’m sorry,” he tells him again. He’ll say it until he can’t say anything else. “I love you. And I wanna show you how much.” 

Rhett snatches the cake from his hand and blows the candle out, tossing it on the floor once it’s spent. 

“Wanna know what I wished for? I wished for you to get your head out of your ass and grow up a little.”

Ouch. That’s harsh, but Link nods anyway, a little too enthusiastically. He’s never backed down from a challenge, and he’s sure as shit not gonna start now. 

“I will. I promise. I’ll do anything for you.” 

Rhett takes a messy bite and nods his head. He chews for longer than he ever has before and finishes it off with another bite. He’s making Link wait, keeping him on his toes. Fuck him, let him sweat. 

“You’ve got a lot of proving to do.” 

“I know. I will. I can do it... I love you.” 

Jesus, how many times does he have to say it before Rhett says it back. He’s never needed to hear those words more than he does now, and fuck, if he doesn’t... who knows. 

“You can start by getting away from me and letting me go back to sleep. We’ll talk about this later.” 

“Okay. Okay, Rhett, I can do that. I love you.” 

He’s pathetic. 

“Yeah, you said that. Night.”


	17. Chapter 17

Let's just start by saying that for one thing, they don't make a manual on this. There's no bit of literature for Link to get an idea of how to start repairing the damage he's already done. There's no pamphlet that's entitled, "So you treated your best friend/fuck buddy like shit and now you're looking to fix it? 10 tips and tricks to smooth over your issues!" 

For another thing, there's not a card out there that's a good enough apology. There's sorry for the loss of your mother. Sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Sorry for the loss of your fucking dog, but none that say sorry I'm an inconsiderate dumb fuck, please take me back? 

He mentally slaps himself. Like Rhett would want a fucking card anyway. As his eyes ghost over the colorful aisle of congratulations and happy birthdays, he feels supremely stupid. His hands rake over his face and drag downward as he looks in the opposite direction. 

Why in the world would he think that buying something would work? Of course that wouldn't. It's no secret that Rhett likes getting gifts; he always has and he always will. But now? No, Link thinks, now isn't the time. Now is the time to show, to tell, to do. 

He climbs back in his truck, dejected and desperate, and heads back home. He's driving along, searching every recess of his mind for an option, some little something that may just start him on the road to recovery, when he sees the sunset. It's beautiful. Bright orange still, as it's only just beginning, but there's streaks of neon pink and little patches of purple where the clouds block out the light. He marvels at the sight. He's always loved looking at the sky. Day, night. Bright and sunny and yellow and happy. Or dark and freckled with stars; serene and calm. He loves them both equally. Loves looking up and feeling small. And he loves it when Rhett's by his side.  

The idea could be a decent one as long as Rhett's willing to play ball. He knows he would have any other time, but now? Who knows. All he can do is cross his fingers and hope for the best. 

He steps into the room and is surprised to find Rhett bent over the desk with his nose in a book. One with complex mathematical equations, it seems from just a glance. He doesn't turn to the sound of the door closing, but that isn't surprising. He hasn't greeted Link in nearly two weeks. And beyond that, talk has been... polite at best. Cordial, even. But nothing deep. Nothing beyond basic pleasantries and superficial small talk. And it's driving Link fucking crazy. Nearly as crazy as he is from the loss of contact; his skin staying a permanent and icy cold without him. 

"Hey, Rhett," he says, sitting on Rhett's bunk to face him, hoping that he won't be chastised for the intrusion. 

"Hi."

A monotoned and monosyllabic answer. He shouldn't have expected anymore than that, but it still stings. It's a far, far cry from the enthusiastic 'hey baby!' he's grown used to. It's just more motivation to fix what seems to be unfixable. 

"Can we... can you come with me for a little while?" 

His voice comes out meek, like a little boy asking for a second helping of ice cream way too close to bed time. It's a little embarrassing, but he doesn't have it in him to be more assertive. It wouldn't work anyway. Rhett's like a bunny right now, skittish and afraid, and if Link comes too hard at him, he's gonna run away. 

"I'm in the middle of something, here."

He doesn't even have the decency to look at Link as he turns him down, and okay, maybe Link has it coming, but maybe he doesn't. Maybe Rhett's just too fucking stubborn for his own good and maybe he's got his head shoved too far up his own a... no. No, it's not Rhett's fault. 

"I know. We can come back soon if you want though. It doesn't have to take long." 

"Link," he sighs and leans back in his seat, the bridge of his nose pinched delicately between his thumb and pointer finger. 

"Rhett," he challenges back, and finally he's granted actual eye contact. 

"What're you doin', man?" 

Rhett's voice is tired, and that's a terrible, awful sign if Link's ever heard one. It's one that says 'I'm not doing this. Not again.' And if Rhett doesn't come with him, he's already decided that he's just gonna lay there and cry. 

"Please, baby."

Link whispers it, and laces his words with all of the hope he can muster. He's practically begging, but at the sound of the shitty little pet name, Rhett freezes. He stiffens up and lets the air deflate from his lungs. 

"Where you wanna go?" 

"It's a surprise. But please, Rhett. Please come with me. Just for a little while." 

Rhett looks down to his hands, the fingers intertwining with each other in irregular patterns. He's thinking hard about it, Link knows so because he's chewing his own mouth apart and Link hates it, but if it's what he has to do... 

"Fine. But not for long." 

"Okay. That's okay. Not for long. I can work with that. Get your shoes on. I need to grab a couple of things." 

Rhett nods and holds his hands up, he's backing down, letting Link lead him. And Link's more than happy about it. He's beaming, feeling like his chest is able to expand so that he can breathe again. 

"Blankets? That's what you needed to get together?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Tell me where we're goin'," Rhett demands with his palm on his hip. 

Link grins. Coyly, in a way that Rhett already knows that he's not getting an answer. And that's annoying. He doesn't like surprises. 

"Nope."

"Link."

"Rhett," Link mimics back, and laughs at the eye roll he gets back.

“C’mon. Don’t make me spoil it.” 

Rhett says he already ate dinner, but he’s not going to pass up the opportunity to get free food when Link offers it. He’s got a bag full of burgers and fries and two cup holders full of milkshakes before they’re on the road. 

The heater is on, but Link is still cold, nervous that Rhett’s gonna laugh at him and tell him it’s too little too late. 

“Can I hold your hand?” He asks tentatively, but is pleased to find longer fingers sliding along with his. 

He drives for a little while longer with his left hand, finding a few of the backroads he’s traveled during his thinking time. Seems he’s been doing a lot of that lately, and thankfully it’s coming in handy. 

He pulls off of the road carefully in the steadily growing darkness and turns the ignition back. The lights flick on for a moment and then back off, and there’s little to see other than the deeply shadowed faces of each other. 

“You bring me out here to kill me?” 

“Yep. You’ve got five seconds to run.” 

Rhett scoffs and looks around at the empty fields that surround them, and then back to Link with a tiny little sliver of a smile. 

“What’re we doin’ out here, Link?” 

“Star gazing. If you want to.” 

Rhett’s smile grows, the points of his teeth showing between his lips and he shakes his head. 

“You’re an insufferable sap, y’know that?” 

“I prefer sweet and sexy romantic, but you call me whatever you want... just as long as you’re callin’ me.” 

Rhett’s quiet for a minute before he opens the door and climbs out, pressing the blankets under his arm and the burgers in the opposing fist. 

“You comin’? Grab the shakes.” 

Link takes a healthy bite of burger, enjoying the burst of grease as he leans against the back of the cab of his truck. Rhett’s right there next to him, the slurp of his emptying shake ringing through the quiet of the night, but Link doesn’t mind. He’s got Rhett’s thigh lined up with his and their shoulders are braced against each other’s, and he doesn’t really doesn’t need anything else. 

“Sure is pretty out here,” Rhett notices. “How’d you find this place?” 

Link swallows his finely chewed bite and contemplates his answer. He doesn’t want to reveal too much. He figures telling Rhett that he comes out here when he wants to think about everything he’s done wrong might be a little too much right now. 

“I just like to explore,” he says instead. 

“I like it here.” 

“I knew you would. It’s why I brought you. Wanted to show you something beautiful.” 

Link tosses his empty wrapper off to the side and settles back, casting his gaze skyward, looking to the stars that are luminous and plentiful on such a clear night. Not for the first time he’s awestruck at the vastness of space. The infinite possibilities of different worlds with different beings. He’s lost in it when he feels Rhett’s knee knock his own. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ bout?” 

“You think... you think maybe there’s another version of us out there? Maybe one where I don’t treat you like shit?” 

Rhett huffs out a laugh and settles down a little lower, drawing the blanket further up his chest. Link follows suit, turning on his side to face him with his hands tucked under his head and a gaze that’s immovable. 

“Probably. Probably a version where you’re not such a fucking dweeb, too.” 

“Be serious, for a minute. Jeez.” 

Rhett takes a slow breath and turns to his side, too. He’s so close that Link could easily reach out and touch him, but he doesn’t. 

“Doesn’t matter if there’s another you. Inconsequential here. It matters that you’re you and you, yourself, treated me like shit.”

“Yeah, I know I did... is there a you out there that’ll ever forgive me?” 

“I dunno, man. Why do you keep talkin’ about other us’? D’you ever plan on talking about this us? Or are you just gonna keep avoiding it and hopin’ it just goes away?” 

“I’m not hopin’ for anything to go away, Rhett. Least of all you. Are you going to? Go away...”

There’s a long, long pause. A heavy silence, and Link hates that it’s too late in the season for even the crickets to alleviate the quiet. 

“I don’t know.”

Link’s heart constricts. That’s it. It’s over. Here’s Rhett telling him that he’s too awful to even be around him again. He rolls to his back, and both sides of his face are dampened with tears that roll down his temples. 

“You never know anything,” he whimpers, a sick and pathetic sound that hurts even his own ears. 

“Link,” Rhett sighs and sits up and wraps his arms around his knees. “We need to figure this out. We need to either just be friends or just be something more. I can’t... I can’t be in this half in half out bullshit thing. You fuckin’ break my heart everyday.” 

Link chokes on a sob as Rhett’s words settle over him. He never meant it to be like this. Never wanted it to be this bad. 

“I didn’t mean it. I... I didn’t know what I was doing. But fuck, I’m so, so fucking sorry. I can’t... I don’t know what to do to fix this. Just tell me what to do and I will. No questions asked. Please.” 

He sits up, too, though he’s on his knees to the side of Rhett, gripping on to his forearm like it’s holding him to the earth. 

“Tell me you wanna be with me. And mean it.” 

“God, Rhett. That’s all? That’s all you need? Nothing else?” 

“It’s all I need to start thinkin’ about it. Then we’ll talk about it more later.” 

“Rhett. Lookit me,” Link begs him, and when he does, he sobs out again. “I want to be with you. And I mean it.” 

Rhett’s nods his understanding, and Link can feel his muscles flexing under his skin. 

“Then prove it. Kiss me.” 

Link scrambles to Rhett’s lap, moving as quick as he can so that he can get to him before Rhett changes his mind. As soon as he’s able, he presses his lips to Rhett’s, adjusting his body for a better fit with his hands on either side of Rhett’s face. He’s holding him steady, refusing to give him the opportunity to back out. 

Not that Rhett wants it to stop. He’s waited just as long for this, and he groans into the hungry touch. His hands find Link’s hips, and he pulls on them tightly, working Link’s pliable body to be flush against his own. 

Link’s lips move from his own, instead tasting his cheeks, his forehead, his chin and neck and shoulders. 

“I missed you. I missed you so much,” he tells him between kisses. 

“I know, me too,” Rhett reassures him and pushes him away just enough to reposition him to settle with his head on Rhett’s chest. “Please tell me that things’ll be different now. That they’ll be better.” 

“I promise. God, I promise. Thank you for letting me show you. I love you.”

“Yeah, you said that,” Rhett laughs, and cranes his neck to kiss him again.


	18. Chapter 18

Link doesn't have anyone to talk to about this. Like, if only, god if only, there were someone that said, "Hey buddy, so your friend turned secret boyfriend and you are celebrating your two month anniversary? Congrats, here's how to handle that." 

Yeah, if only, but there's not. And two months? Well, that's a stupid fucking anniversary anyway,  isn't it? Yes, it most certainly is, especially when you take in to account all of the years they'd spent as friends. But Link's still in the doghouse. At least, he feels that way. 

Rhett doesn't seem to think that way, though. He's loving and kind and sweet and thoughtful. He's attentive and perfect and Link... Link's trying. Link's trying really hard, okay? He is. But just... the competition is steep. 

He's thought about it a lot, what he could do for Rhett. He thinks about it as he lays his head down to go to sleep and he thinks about it as soon as his eyes open in the morning. It's exhausting, really. But for Rhett, he can be tired. He'll keep trying. 

He's not the most sentimental guy. Or rather, he is, when it comes to himself. But for others? How is he supposed to know what they'd want? Wouldn't it just be easier for them to tell him?

He makes the decision to go with the tried and true. Rhett likes to eat. He's always hungry, and maybe if Link can scrounge something together... candles and shit. Maybe he'd like it, maybe he wouldn't, who knows? But trying is better than doing nothing, and Link's got a little extra cash, so he places a to go order and taps his foot the entire time he waits for his carry out bag. 

Back at the dorm, Rhett's no where to be found, and a quick glance at the clock tells Link he needs to shake a leg if he wants to get this shit set up before he's back home. "Shit," isn't really the right word. Stuff is much better, because it's not like he's not into this. He is. A nice little quiet night with his boy. He can show him how much he loves him, and then he'll let Rhett love him, and it'll be perfect. And Rhett will feel like he's worth it, because he is. It's a good plan. It is.

He pulls a folded up spare blanket from their shared closet, gives it a sniff and decides it's clean enough after he shakes out the dust. It's laid on the floor, creases smoothed as well as they can be, and he goes about setting up. 

Okay, so it's not the fanciest thing in the entire world, this whole little get up he's got going on. But it's good for what they've got. It's better than their typical burgers and fries. It's a couple of medium rare steaks from the diner down the street. A potato for each, a salad. A slice of apple pie to cap it off sweetly and a couple of cold beers to wash it down with. It's good, he thinks. It's... cute, or something. 

He’s just blowing out the match that lit the two candles in heavy glass containers (he wouldn't want them tipping over and catching the whole place on fire now, would he?) when Rhett walks in and stands stock still as he looks over the little indoor picnic on the floor. 

"What's all this?" He asks as the corners of his eyes crinkle in amusement. 

"You don't remember, really? I'm disappointed in you, Rhett," Link teases back, because he knows that Rhett knows. 

"It's not my birthday. Or yours. Is it an early Christmas gift?" 

"Huh uh," Link shakes his head and takes a few steps closer. 

"Is it... did you pass a test? Get a good grade on a paper?" 

"Maybe I'm tryin' to seduce you," Link offers with a coy shrug of his shoulders. He bites the corner of his lip lightly, hoping that it's giving the intended feelings to Rhett. 

"You don't have to feed me to do that." 

Link's on him now, two hands pressed to his chest and he leans up to give him the deepest kiss he can muster. He lets his lips move and part and let out the air he's been holding, and goodness, how he's been waiting all day for this. 

"You know what it is. Don't play dumb," he tells Rhett sternly when he pulls away, because of course Rhett knows. He just wanted to make Link sweat, but Link knows him to well to have not been fooled. 

"Happy anniversary, baby," Rhett says lowly, sending a reverberating vibration coasting down Link's neck. 

"And to you. You hungry?"

Rhett grins wolfishly, teeth bared between his darkened lips, because of course he's hungry. If he weren't, Link would assume it was the end of times and he would soon be reckoned. But he is hungry and his eyes dart over the plates and candles and licks his lips. 

"This from the diner?" Rhett asks and folds his legs to fit in the space provided. 

"Mhmm."

"Well, this is really nice, Link. Thank you. I appreciate the effort." 

Without even looking at him, Link can hear the smile on his voice, and it's all he could have hoped for. Rhett's happiness is his happiness. Always has been, even before all of this. 

The appreciative noises that Rhett makes as he chews are akin to something very un-dinner like. They're closer to desert, and it's taking everything Link has to concentrate on chewing thoroughly enough to swallow properly. He closes his eyes and smiles through mouthfuls ever few minutes, and each time he does it Link feels that all too familiar fluttering in his chest. 

It's like, how? How in the fuck did he get so lucky as to grow up with his soul mate? And make no mistake, Rhett absolutely is. There's just no other explanation, right? It's really the only thing in this whole fucking world that makes any type of sense. 

They've each knocked back their half of the six pack and pushed their containers aside when Rhett looks over to Link with a lopsided grin and starts fidgeting with his fingers. 

"Somethin' you wanna tell me, babe?" Link asks, because he's seen Rhett when his fingers start dancing, and it means there's something on his mind. 

"I, uh. Yes. I got you something, too..." 

He stands up from his place and grabs his discarded book bag, unzipping it in between glancing over his shoulder to meet Link's curious gaze. Finally, after shuffling and digging he finds what he's looking for and moves back over to sit across from Link, placing the gift in his hands and folding his own back in his lap. 

"I... hope you like it. I really did, and thought, I dunno, I hoped maybe you would, too." 

The nervousness in his voice is palpable, and really there's no reason for it. Nothing he could give Link would leave him dissatisfied. 

Link rips away the newspaper wrapping, smiling as he thinks of just how "Rhett" that is. 

"The Hobbit? Is this your copy? You love this book, Rhett. I can't take it from you."

Rhett's still grinning but his eyes fall to the blanket between them. His fingers are still moving, drawing unseen patterns against the fabric and he shrugs. 

"I love it, yeah. But I love you more. And I want you to love what I love." 

"Oh, Rhett," Link huffs. He's so sweet. He so fucking sweet and Link probably doesn't deserve it, but he'll take it while he can.

He sets the book down gently, really gently, because he's never going to give it another crease if his life depends on it. He leans over and gives Rhett the purest kiss, he hopes, one that's deep and meaningful and he hopes that Rhett can feel everything that he's pouring into it. Because god dammit, he fucking deserves it, doesn't he? 

And Rhett feels it. He does. From his scalp all the way to the tips of his toes he feels it; the electric current that can only come from Link. His Link. And he's thankful that when he tugs at Link's shirt and leans back, Link goes with him, careful not to bump over the candles. 

This whole thing... it's... romantic, or whatever. It's cool, though, Link thinks, because Rhett's making these noises and this time it's definitely not from his meal. It's him telling Link to keep going without actually telling him. Link's not stupid, and he knows what Rhett wants, but he knows what he wants, too. Knows what he wants to give him. 

"Uh uh, brother. It's you on top tonight," he murmurs and pushes his lips back down, really loving the gasp he gets in return. 

"Yeah?" Rhett asks him while he can. "M'gonna fuck you real good, baby."

True to his word he does. He does so good while Link's on his hands and knees panting like he's never gonna catch his breath again. He does when his fingers dig in to Link's hips and swivels his pelvis just so. He does when he wraps his arms around Link's waist and hoists him up to line up Link's back to his own chest. And he certainly does when he kisses him, odd angles be damned. He does because he always does. 

And by the time they're finished and laying with Link as the little spoon and Rhett's got his arm pushed over him to press his palm flat against Link's chest, Link's practically catatonic. He's so close to sleep that he can almost taste it, but Rhett ruins it by clearing his throat and calling his name. 

"Why did... why'd you do all'a this?" He asks quietly, voice husky and if Link weren't already spent, it'd definitely be doing things to him. 

"Two months," is all he manages to tell him. 

"No, I know. I just mean... why'd you bring it all here? We coulda gone there. Out from our cage."

Rhett's good at a lot of things. He is. He always has been. And so it's really no surprise that he's really good at ruining a really good moment. 

"You know why," Link mumbles, hoping that the answer won't make him happy, he knows it won't, but he hopes it pacifies him enough to just be quiet and live in the moment. He doesn't want to have this discussion. Not again and not now. 

"Why? Why you always gotta do this?"

Here we go again. 

"Rhett, you know wh-"

"No, Link!" 

Rhett's moving away at break neck speed, like where his skin touched Link's it burned, and while Link can't say that he's surprised, he's disappointed. In the both of them. 

"Baby," Link tries again, sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest, forcing down the wince that comes from the dull ache in his backside. 

"I wouldn't, it's not like I would... kiss you or nothin' in public, Link. I just, god, why are you always so ashamed of me?"

Link can't think of a single thing to say because ashamed? Of Rhett? No. No, no, that's just... well that's not it, okay? Rhett's just... he's ideological without actually thinking things through. Showcasing it... how many times does he have to explain the same thing over and over again? 

"D'you hate me or somethin'?" 

That little quiver in Rhett's voice snaps Link's attention back to the present, and oh, lord, the look in his eyes, the one that screams that Link is more painful than death... it just... it's...

"No, Rhett. No, I don't hate you. I love you."

Link scrambles to his feet, narrowly avoiding getting tangled in the blanket before he's an t Rhett‘s side and grabbing his chin to make him look. Make him see Link when he tells him so that he feels it and he understands. 

"I. Love. You," he tells him again, and he'll keep telling him until he knows for sure.

Rhett melts into the touch, the same as always. And why is that? Why can his beating heart be quelled just from skin to skin, and why can’t his beating heart be quelled by his words? Why, why is always left feeling so doubtful about their relationship, and more than anything, why is Link so resistant? 

It god damn sucks. All Rhett wants is some sense of normality. He doesn’t need, need roses or anything like that. He just wants... Well he wants what everyone else wants. Just, just a normal life. 

“Are you ever going to be okay with this Link? Be okay with what I am and what you...” 

He doesn’t need to rub salt in the wound. But he needs to know. 

“Yes. Yes, of course. Just not yet, alright? Give me... give me a little time. I need... to ease in to this, I guess. It’s a big step.”

It is a big step, obviously, Rhett knows. Obviously he’s thought about it too. But he loves Link more than he’s scared for himself. He only wishes that Link felt the same. 

“Okay, Link. Whatever you say.”


	19. Chapter 19

"Y'know, if you'd let me help you, this would probably go a lot quicker," Rhett mumbles and reaches up to take his tie from Link's trembling hands, but gets smacked away with an accompanied pointed and annoyed look. 

Rhett can't help but smirk at the pure determination etched on Link's face. Tongue poked out of soft pink lips, brow set so deeply it might stay that way permanently. But the best of it is in his blue eyes, crystal clear and filled with knowledge, even if his fingers aren't cooperating. 

"No, no," Link tells him, "I've got it. Just let... just lemme do it." 

"You've got one minute to get this finished. I'm gonna be late." 

"Hey! And who's fault is that? I woke up with plenty of time. You were the one who... wanted to stay in bed for a while," he gripes, but the smile is there, and Rhett knows he's not really being chastised. 

"Couldn't help it. Wake up lookin' at a face like yours... it gives a man ideas. Plus, last day I'm technically a student and all." 

Link's smile falls from his face like it's made of lead, quick and with fury. It's a touchy subject, Rhett knows as much, and he probably shouldn't have said it, but it's weighing on him as much as it is Link. 

"Link," he soothes, "Don't look so sad, baby. Told ya I'm gettin' a place of my own close by. Soon as I get a job, anyway. And I want you to come with me, obviously." 

"Shouldn't have done that freakin' internship, man. I'd be done now, too," Link pouts, and even if he's hurting, it's a misguided pain that Rhett can only point out so many times. 

"Hey," Rhett changes tactics, "Would you rather keep on sharin' a place with these goons, or just a one bedroom with me?" 

Link shrugs. Their shared apartment ain't so bad. Sure, there‘s a lot of sneaking around that came with the territory of having roommates, but then again... a one bedroom? That's a little presumptuous on Rhett's part. He might as well advertise it on a billboard. 

"Two bedroom," Link mumbles. "We'll share one. But, you know. For our family... they'll think we each have our own." 

That's a touchy subject, too. One Link should have known better than to bring up now, right fucking now, as Rhett's about to walk across the stage and turn his tassel.

"Link." 

There's not much more he could have said with just one word. If the disappointed tone wasn’t enough, it's made all the more obvious by the shoulders. Normally so rigid and well postured, now drawn forward and defeated. The mark of a man who's had the same argument too many times to be able to give it his all. 

"It'll be okay. We'll have extra room for... for whatever," Link reassures, a smile used to placate plastered across his features. 

"How long we been together, Link?" 

The idea of putting the tie together is abandoned, the two sides are left dangling away from the green collar of Rhett's shirt. Link takes a step back, jaw hard set and teeth grinding together nervously, knowing that this line of questioning can go nowhere but south. 

"Few years," he mutters and wrings his hands at his waist. 

"Yeah, a few years, and damn, man. I love you more every day."

"I love you t-" Link interjects, but is cut off with a wave of Rhett's hand. 

"Don't interrupt me... We started as teenagers. Locked in a dorm, hot and heavy. And it was fun. It was real fun, Link. But we aren't teenagers anymore. I'm twenty two. And you will be, too, next month." 

Link nods, because he's apparently not allowed to talk. But if he were allowed, he'd have a lot to say. A lot to back himself up on. Because he knows where this is going; it's a familiar topic of conversation. Though, admittedly, he didn't think it would come up today. 

"How long, Link? How much time do I have to give you?" 

"I don't kn-"

"I'm tired. I'm so tired of this. I understood, and I think I've been more than generous with my allowance for your... whatever this is. Your fear, I guess. But I'm sick of havin' you jump away from me when someone comes in the room. Havin' you hide me in plain sight. Actin' like I'm... like you're... are you ashamed of me?" 

"What? No! No, of course not, Rhett. How could you even think that?" 

He can't be serious. He just can't. Stupid questions don't deserve answers, and Rhett's not going to give one. 

"So when I walk off that stage with my degree, and my mom wants to take a hundred pictures, you'll take one with me? You'll let me kiss you and stand proud with my boyfriend? You'll let me tell my parents, and god and everyone else in sight that I'm with him. I'm with Link, and there's no one else I'd rather be with, for the rest of my life. You'll let me tell 'em? Will you, Link? Huh?" 

He didn't mean for his voice to raise, for his face to turn red, for the veins in his neck and forehead to strain. He meant to tell Link, for the millionth time, that he was ready to be outed. That he wanted to walk down the street with Link on his arm and be done with it, but the more he thought about it, the madder he became. And now here he stands with a racing heart and clammy hands and tears ripping at his cheeks. 

"I can't... god dammit, Link, I can't do this anymore," he breathes, all sense of anger drained from his voice, replaced with raw and ragged emotion. 

"We won't have to be this way forever," Link moves closer to him and wraps his arms around his waist. He settles against his chest, hating the way it heaves with deep but stuttered breaths. He doesn't want him to be sad, to feel this way; he loves him. 

"But how long, Link? How long? I know you're sick to death of me asking, but I'm sick of waiting and... I think..." 

Rhett's hands, so big and strong, wrap around Link's biceps, give a little push, forging Link to take a step back and look him in the eye. 

"I think I'm done," he finishes. 

Link flashes a sign of the words registering, a frown over taking his lips before they quirk back up in a smile, but not one filled with mirth, but rather one that's a question. It's a sign of processing without understanding. 

"Done? With what, baby?" He asks so small, so sweetly, like he hasn't the slightest idea of what Rhett could be referring to. 

"With this. With us having to hide... with..." he chokes out, and the fresh stream of tears that cascade down and drip off of his chin and leave behind angry red splotches that are just as bad as if Link had reared back and hit him make Link feel nauseous. 

"What are you saying, Rhett?" Link asks, his own voice quickly catching up to the hoarseness that Rhett's displayed.

How is he supposed to say it? How can he come out with it, just like that, just... just end it like Link doesn't mean anything? Because he does! He means everything. If only he meant as much to Link. 

"Just say it!" The anger belongs to Link now, the same red face and strained voice that Rhett had just moments before. Each of his limbs tingle with wait, the anticipation of knowing, just absolutely knowing, what Rhett's gonna say. 

"Well?" 

"I don't think you should come today," Rhett mumbles. "And I'll probably stay with my parents for a little while. I need... I need to think about this."

He takes a step back, more so stumbles, and regards Rhett with eyes that look like x-rays, full of scrutiny and peering into Rhett's insides. 

"Don't do this to us," he pleads, soft and quiet and raspy. 

"Link, there's a million things I'd be willing to do for you. I'd give you the world if I could. But I will not take the blame for this. You did this to us."

Even if he’d have given him time before grabbing his things and slamming the door behind him, there’s nothing that Link could say. Because he was right.


	20. Chapter 20

Link sits on the couch of their living room, fingers twisting in his lap as their shared bedroom is packed up. Well, half of their shared bedroom, if you could even call it that. Truth be told, it looks more like a dorm room than a space shared between lovers. Two small beds pressed against opposite walls. A dresser filling the space in between. In Link’s defense, that’s exactly how Tim and Gregg’s room looks as well. But in Rhett’s defense, they aren’t a couple. 

The sound of tape stretching across box flaps rips through Link’s soul, each closed up container is another nail in Link’s proverbial coffin. He hasn’t said much to Rhett, not since he got back and tried to smooth it over, and Rhett made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t in the mood for talking. He was in the mood for moving, whether that be house to house or forward in their relationship. After that, Link went to the couch and hasn’t moved since. 

It’s not easy to sit there, alright? Watching; his eyes moving like a pendulum as Rhett walks back and forth from their, or rather- Link’s bedroom, and to the front door. Back and forth and back and forth. Full hands as he walks one way, empty handed as he comes back in. 

And Link can see it in his eyes, even if he won’t look at him. Can see that with each pass they get redder and redder, even as Link’s vision gets blurrier and blurrier. 

He can hear it; the ragged breaths that Rhett takes now and then, like the act of breathing is physically painful. Link knows that feeling well. It’s ingrained in him, too. 

He can feel it; the heaviness that falls around them even as the room gets lighter. It’s hot and stagnant and stale and putrid. It’s tainting the air around them and if it doesn’t clear out soon Link might just let it swallow him whole. Maybe. It would probably be for the best. 

He can taste it, too. The bitter bile that rises up his throat and coats the base of his tongue before he can swallow it down. Rhett’s in all of his senses, or rather, the loss of him is. 

He’d probably be able to smell it if his nose wasn’t so stuffy. What does pain smell like? He’s not sure, but as soon as he’s able to breathe again, he’s sure he’ll find out. 

“Think that’s the last of it,” Rhett says, and Link finally realizes that he’s standing right in front of him with his hands on his hips. Tall and glistening with a sheen of sweat. 

For a long while Link can’t think of a thing to say. Okay? See you later? Please, for the love of god don’t go? None of it seems to work in that moment, so instead he settles on nothing at all. He just looks. Lost in love and self hatred. 

“I guess I’ll head out then,” her mumbles with a deflated shrug and turns to the door. 

“Wait!”

He’s on his feet as fast as humanly possible, making quick work of the space between them. He knows that he shouldn’t touch him, that if he does it’ll just make it harder when he goes. But there’s that same pull that’s always been there, and he can’t make himself stop. He jumps and hopes that he’ll be caught, but then, Rhett always catches him and this won’t be any different. 

He wraps his legs around his thighs, and buries his face into Rhett’s neck, settling in as he feels strong hands under his thighs, and hot breath on his own neck. 

“Please don’t go,” he whispers hoarsely, surprised that his voice works at all. 

“You haven’t given me a reason to stay, honey,” he gets in return and fuck! Why in the fuck can’t he just... just fucking man up? He knows he should. Knows that if he had any fucking balls at all, this wouldn’t even be an issue. 

“I love you. Can’t that be enough? Please?” 

“Link,” he sighs, and lets Link side down his legs, but keeps his hands settled on his hips, a space carved out just for him. “It was enough before. It’s just not now. I can’t go through life pretending to be something I’m not. It just... it’s bad for me. Don’t you get that? You make me sad. You make me really, really sad.” 

Neither of them are sure who’s sobs belong to who, a cacophony of despair surrounding them. Sniffles and cries and whispered pleas are all that there is. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I make you sad. I never... I never meant for it to be like this,” Link cries into Rhett’s shoulder, sure that he’ll leave behind a lasting wet mark on the fabric of the t shirt he’d changed into. “And I’m sorry I missed your graduation. I wanted to be there. I swear I did.” 

“I know. It’s okay. Maybe when it’s your turn we’ll be back to being friends and I’ll sit front row and I’ll cheer louder than anyone else,” Rhett says back, the wear and tear of the day getting to him. His hands slide up and down Link’s back, his own tingling with discomfort, but he doesn’t let it show. He’ll stand here all night if he has to. If it’ll give Link any comfort at all. 

“God, Rhett. Don’t say that. I don’t deserve it. Not a bit of it.” 

“Sure you do. I get that your scared, Link. I really do. It’s a big deal to... to tell people that you’re not exactly who they think you are. One day maybe you’ll be ready. And maybe I’ll still be around and waitin’ for you. But for now, I think we just both need to take some time and figure out who we are.” 

“I don’t think I can do that without you, though,” Link tells him honestly. He’s raw and broken and really, who is he if he isn’t half of a whole? 

“You’ll figure it out. We both will. And we’ll be better for it. Stronger. And then one day maybe we’ll be able to get it right.” 

Why does he have to be so perfect? Everything he says, everything he does... it’s always just what Link needs... and he can’t bring himself to do one thing back. He doesn’t deserve him. 

“You mean me. I’ll be able to get it right.” 

“Neither of us are without our flaws.” 

Link finally lets him go, drops his hands to his sides and takes a step back, needing to look at him more than anything. Taking in every line and curve of his face, committing it to memory in case he... well, what if he never sees him again? 

“Can you stay? Please? Just one more night? Just let me... lemme show you how much I love you. Please,” he practically fucking begs. He’ll get down on his knees if he has to. He’ll walk through glass or fire or anything... just for one more night. 

“No, baby. I should go. My uh, my mom’ll be gettin’ worried,” Rhett says with a hand on the back of his neck and eyes trained on the ground. 

“Will I see you soon?”

“Sure, Link. You’ll see me soon. Just maybe... just give me a little time, okay? It’s... this is really fuckin’ hard for me, too.” 

Link nods, because what else can he do? He nods his understanding and steps back into Rhett’s arms, raising to his tip toes and kisses him softly, hoping his can pack up all of his love and want and hope and pass them over with one quick gesture. Rhett kisses back and Link can feel his tears splash along his cheeks before he pulls back without another word and shuts the door quietly behind him. 

There’s something that happens when you see a space that was once so filled with love, filled with memories of two people becoming one, empty and void, that just makes you want to sleep. And Link does, in a room with two beds, but one cleared of its sheets.


	21. Chapter 21

Seeing him is... wow, well, it's, you know, unexpected? To say the least. Apparently 'We'll see each other soon,' had meant two way different things to them, as it's been a month and a half of Rhett dodging Link's calls and Link feeling like he was disintegrating into ash without the glue that was his best friend to hold him together. 

He almost didn't see him, in the dairy section of the grocery store. He was bent over as Link went for the half gallon of vitamin d to accompany his near continual source of cereal. But when he stood up... there was no way in hell it could have been anyone else. 

Link stands back, watching Rhett stretch quickly and scoot his cart out of the way. He smiles at a woman as she excuses herself around him, and gives her a polite nod. So cordial, always the gentleman. 

His heart beats in his chest as if he'd run a marathon, and maybe if it keeps up he'll be lucky enough to have a heart attack and die on the spot. It'd be better, probably, than standing here like a complete idiot. 

He wants to stop and talk, to ask Rhett how he's doing. To make sure he's eating well and getting enough sleep. To remind Rhett that it was almost time to change the oil in his car. To tell him that he loves and misses him and would sacrifice his soul if it meant that he'd come home. You know, the little every day things that you say to let someone know you care. 

But he can't say any of that, because Rhett's been avoiding him like the plague. He wouldn't take his calls. Had his mom say he wasn't home when Link had shown up to his house, even when there sat the same old piece of shit beater he'd been driving for years. 

It's clear he doesn't wanna see Link, and Link's none too keen on forcing him in to anything he doesn't want; he's already done that enough, hasn't he? So he tucks his tail, ducks his head and swoops into the next isle, hoping that if he stays there long enough Rhett'll find what he came for and leave, none the wiser to Link's having seen him. 

He smiles awkwardly at a man that passes him with a furrowed brow, staring at Link like he's some sort of creep for tucking himself against the ice cream freezer. It's summer, it's hot. Fuck him. 

He counts to twenty because he really wants to be sure that Rhett's gone before he peeks around the corner. Twenty seconds, plus the small amount of time he took to panic, he should be fine. He'll grab his milk and be on his way. So, he takes a deep breath, looks up at the dingy over head lights and turns the corner, right into someone else's cart. 

"Oh! Sorry, I... Link?" 

Link crumples against the freezer door that he'd previously stood next to, a pain shooting into his hip were the metal made it self at home. No. God no. This isn't happening. Not now. Fuck! 

"Hey...," he drags the words out as if it had ten more y's at the end. "...Rhett. How's it hangin'?" 

He leans his elbow against the cool glass and tucks his chin into his palm. He's going for relaxed but... who the hell is relaxed in the grocery store? Especially someone who was just nearly maimed by a shopping cart. He's a tool. A helpless fucking tool. 

"Oh... kay, I guess. You?" 

Link's eyes are watering, but he's got a smile on anyway. And he can proudly say that most of the moisture in his lashes is thanks to the pain, physical that is, and only partly due to seeing Rhett. 

"I'm cool," he says with a nod and... oh god did he just finger gun? Please, Link. Please stop. 

"Cool, man. That's real... yeah that's cool. You, um, you doin' anything?" Rhett asks, and maybe Link's not the only idiot standing here. 

"Oh, you know. Hangin' out." 

"In the grocery store?" 

"Ah, well, no. Actually I came for milk. Just got side tracked when I saw the ice cream," he says, and finally stands up so that he at least looks similar to a grown man. 

"Oh. Yeah, it's pretty hot out. Ice cream... ice cream is good," Rhett stutters with a shrug. He smiles kindly, but there's nothing that resembles happiness in his eyes. 

"Ice cream is good," Link echoes with a nod. When the fuck did this get so impossibly awkward? He used to be able to carry on a forty minute conversation about the French fries he had for lunch, and now he can't think of something to say after not seeing him for arguably the longest he's gone in his life? This has to be some cruel fucking joke. 

"So, uh, was just gonna ask if maybe you'd, um, like to grab dinner or something? I think we have a bit of catching up to do," Rhett says and clears his throat, like he's too nervous to even really consider that Link would take him up on it. 

"Dinner? Yeah. Yeah! I mean... that sounds real good, Rhett. Can I pick you up?"

"Pick me up?" Rhett scoffs. "Yeah, and take me back to your house? Away from prying eyes?" 

He bites his lip. It's clear to Link that maybe he didn't mean to have an outburst, but he deserved it so he doesn't comment. He just shakes his head. 

"No. Wherever you want. What sounds good? Steak? Pasta? Whatever you want, Rhett. Anything. Name it and it's yours." 

He's falling back into old habits, in a way. He sounds pathetic, though this time he's offering what Rhett had been asking for, and maybe, god, fucking maybe he'll take him up on it. Maybe the night can end back at Link's place or in the back of his truck, or hell, in the middle of the highway for everyone to see. He'll do it if it means Rhett will take him back.

"You're serious?" 

"I'm serious, Rhett. I wanna go where you wanna go. And see who you wanna see. Just... just can we?" 

Rhett takes a few steps back and rubs his fingers across his thin beard, and Link's not sure if that's a good thing or not, at least not until Rhett's nodding his concession. Link's heart soars, like maybe things'll go back to normal now, and he'll be able to sleep. He'll be able to eat and breathe and live. 

"Just, this doesn't change anything, okay? We're goin' as friends. This ain't gonna end up with me in your bed."

"I... wh- oh, yeah, sure. Of course. I didn't... I didn't think it meant anything..." 

Well, that's a bald face lie, now isn't it? He thought and hoped and let himself get excited, only for Rhett to say one little thing and burn it to the ground. But, uh, if it means that he gets to spend some time, then, then it's worth it. 

"Alright, man. Don't worry about pickin' me up. Just meet me at Mickie D's at six." 

McDonald's? Seriously. What the hell?

"I meant it... we can go wherever you want. I'll pay..." Link offers with a smile. It's little and broken, but it's a smile. 

"Yeah. That's what I want. I'll pay for myself, thanks. I'll see you later, Link." 

"Bye baby," Link says back, and kicks himself when Rhett freezes for a beat before walking stiffly away.

It's a shitty meal, but it doesn't mean that Link's not going to put in some real effort on his appearance. He's not oblivious to the fact that he's good looking. And he's less oblivious to the fact that Rhett finds him attractive. He knows he's got it, and he might just be a bit of a dick for exploiting it, but that's just too damn bad. 

He takes a shower and scrubs head to toe twice. Musses up his shaggy hair with mousse. Puts on his tightest shirt and his jeans that have the least amount of threading at the bottom. Finishes off his look with brushing his teeth and tongue and gums. Should something happen, not that he's counting on it since Rhett already said no, but if it does he'll be ready and willing. 

He gets there at five thirty, having left far earlier than necessary. Maybe if he shows that he's putting in a real effort, then it'll be appreciated and one dinner will lead to two, to three, to a movie and back in the sheets. Not that he only cares about that, no of course not. But it would be a lie to say that he doesn't miss it.

He passes the time by drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, singing along quietly to the radio. He people watches. Seeing bouncy little kids with their happy parents go in and out. He thinks over the menu, like he could order anything other than a Big Mac. He tries to find pictures in the clouds. But mostly he just thinks about Rhett. Thinks about how handsome he is and how warm his skin feels late at night bundled under the blankets. The way his smile barely shows his teeth, but it lights up his whole face anyway. And the way he laughs with his head thrown back and a hand on his chest. He thinks about the way his eyes get gloomy when he's sad, and he realizes that he's seen that darkness too many times for comfort. He'll do better. In whatever capacity Rhett lets him. He will, he promises to no one. He won't ever- 

"Hey, man," Rhett says, leaning into Link's open window. "Hungry?" 

"Yeah," Link startles, having been too lost in thought to hear his approaching footsteps. He's hungry, alright. Not really for food, though. 

"Whatcha think you're gonna get?" Link asks, craning his neck to look up at Rhett. 

"Give you three guesses, but you're only gonna need one." 

They order the same thing, down to the sizing and drink, and Link's the first to set his tray down. He slides into the small booth, pressing himself against the wall. It's an offering. Here, we can sit on the same side, please, sit next to me. But Rhett either doesn't notice or doesn't want to play ball, because he sits on the opposite side and doesn't waste any time in grabbing a handful of fries and shoveling them down. 

Link swallows as he watches, admittedly hurt that his invitation was declined. But what did he expect, really? How many times had he turned Rhett down in the past? Too many to count on both hands and feet, that's for sure. 

"So..." he asks, trying to think of anything to get the conversation going. "How you been?" 

"Good, brother. Good. Started workin'. Got my place. Little sparse on the furnishings but, you know. It's good. I like it." 

Link smiled and nods. He's happy that Rhett's happy. He is. How could he not be? He takes a bite and chews it methodically, choosing not to dwell on the fact that Rhett wasn't missing him at all. 

"You?" 

"Oh, I'm... I'm good. Got my last semester of classes registered and ready to go. Should have a job lined up, too. Guess I'll be lookin' for my own apartment soon, too. Maybe we'll live close to each other." 

Rhett nods back but doesn't really answer, opting instead to slurp his coke loudly. If it were anyone else it would have set Link's nerves on edge, but as is, it's fine. He'll over look it. 

"So, your own place, huh?" Link circles back around. "What's that like?" 

"Quiet." 

"Ah, yeah. I can see that. Is it... too quiet?" 

Rhett shrugs and finishes off his burger in one last big bite, chewing like a chipmunk to get it all down. "Sometimes."

"Yeah. I can see that, too. Maybe I could... maybe I could stop by sometime. You know, if you wanted me to. I'd love to see it..." 

"Well, there's, uh, somethin' I needed to tell you about that. The reason why I wanted to meet with you for a little bit..." 

Link gulps down the bite he'd held in his mouth half chewed, and barely holds back the cough that threatens to break through. He wipes his mouth and waits patiently with buzzing nerves and sweaty palms. This is it. This is when Rhett tells him he's met someone else. Someone that makes him so much happier than Link could ever dream of doing. This is when his heart shatters for good and he doesn't ever recover. 

"I'm leavin'," Rhett finally spills. "Goin' to California. There's... there's a job out there waitin' for me. And I think I need to get away. Think it'll be good for me. No reason to stay, really." 

Link's not sure how long his mouth stays gaped open, like a fish out of water, but it's a long while. Too long for him too look anything but pathetic. When he realizes this, he snaps it shut with a click of his teeth and takes a deep breath. 

"Really? There's nothin' here for you? No reason at all to stay? You can't think of a single one? Like maybe the one sittin' right in front of you?"

"Look, man," Rhett sighs and pushes his empty tray away from him. "I dunno what you want me to say. I'm tryin' to be honest with you. We aren't together." 

"So that makes me nothing?" Link's voice raises and a few people look his way, but fuck them, he doesn't care. 

"Keep your voice down," Rhett snaps, eyes on the others around them. 

"Why, Rhett? Why should I? You wanted publicity. Well, here it is!" 

He tosses his own tray, half full, without a second thought and stomps out to his truck, slamming the door behind him. This was a terrible, terrible idea. And he'd have been better off if he'd told Rhett to go fuck himself when he saw him earlier. Because essentially, hadn't Rhett just told him the same thing? 

"Leave me alone, Rhett," he chokes out, this time having seen his approach. 

"You wanna come back to my place? There's some shit we gotta discuss, obviously." 

Um. No? No is an accurate answer here. So he shakes his head and turns the key in the ignition, refusing to look over for even just a minute. 

“You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me. No! I’m not goin’ anywhere with you,” Link scoffs, because honestly. Get it together. 

"Please, Link?" Rhett asks a little more quietly this time, and something about the tone begs for Link. It pleads with him to follow, and if he's ever been able to tell Rhett no... well, it isn't happening now. 

Link bites at his cheek as he thinks it over. He wants to go, but he doesn’t, too. He hates that Rhett’s always been so easily able to pull out the dumb in him, always been able to make him do things he doesn’t want to. He’s magic when it comes to Link, pulling out him out of his hat whenever he wants him. 

"I'll follow you."

It's not a far drive; less than ten minutes, but it's enough to make Link rethink his decision to go. Nothing good can come of this. This is good bye and nothing else, he's certain. And even worse, it's a good bye on bad terms, which can cause nothing but grief. 

It's not the best apartment he's ever seen, but it's a far cry from the worst. It's walls are a sterile white, almost clinical, with nothing hanging on them to make it feel like a home. But it smells like him, wholly like him and it makes it a little more like home. 

"Only been here a few weeks. Didn't even get to unpack before I found out I was leavin' again," Rhett explains. "Gonna get chewed up for breakin' the lease, but it's fine." 

He gestures toward his couch, or rather, futon, and offers Link a drink that's quickly declined. He sits next to him, and even with the few feet of space between them, Link swears that he can feel the warmth radiating off of him. 

"Cant believe you're leavin'," Link finally manages, and by the grace of god, there's very little shake to his voice. 

"I need a change." 

"Can't believe you think you've got nothin' to stay for, either." 

"Link." 

Linklinklink. That's all he ever says, and without any real context. Just, ugh, Link. Or oh, Link. And dammit, he deserves more than that.

"Rhett," he challenges back. 

"Look-"

"No! You know what, you look!" Link barks, a sudden burst of rage sparked in his chest. He's standing up and pacing before he can stop himself, arms waving wildly and ice in his eyes.  "You just... you're leaving? And you think that you can just go like that? Like I won't be fucking devastated? Who do you think you are, Rhett? And you have the nerve to act like I'm being absurd by being hurt by it? You don't know me at all, do you?"

"Enough!" Rhett snaps back, quick to jump to his feet as well. "I know. I get it. It's a change for both of us. The whole... this whole year has been a change... and it’s not...” his voice breaks a little, but he sets his jaw and clenches his fist, the resolve drawn over his features; statuesque. “It’s not been good changes... I need a win, Link. I need somethin’ to go good for me for once. Don’t you get it?” 

He wants to. He wants to see Rhett’s point of view. Wants to be happy for him that he’s making something of himself. But he’s not, not really. Because he’s leaving and he won’t get the chance to make it better between them. 

“Maybe I could be the good thing for you,” he tries. “If you’d let me. I’ll be better. I will, Rhett. I swear.” 

Link doesn’t have the resolve that Rhett does. He’s never been as strong, physically or emotionally, and it’s always been a point of contention, but right now he doesn’t really care. Let him see him fall apart. If that’s what he wants, that’s what he’s gonna get. 

“I know you think that, honey,” Rhett smiles softly. Sadly. 

“No... I know it.” 

Rhett steps forward and puts a hand on Link’s shoulder, solid and heavy and warm. It matches the way he looks at him, intense and brooding. 

“I’m sure you do. But I can’t take a chance on that anymore. I told you I was done bein’ hurt.” 

“I’m sorry, Rhett. I’m so sorry.”

Link sniffles and takes a step forward, he doesn’t care if Rhett decides to take a step back, but he doesn’t. He lets Link walk into him. Lets him wrap his arms around him. Doesn’t stop him when he rears up on his toes to kiss him. He even kisses back, not tentatively, either. But with full force. Lets himself be climbed. Lets Link grip at his shoulders and the back of his neck. Grips Link back just as hard. 

And Link can’t breathe. Can’t think. Can only do and move and groan. His body craves this like it craves air and water. 

“God, I want you,” he murmurs against Rhett’s lips, hands leaving his hair for the button on his shorts. 

He’s stopped when long fingers wrap around his wrist, stopping his movements and making him freeze. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I told you we weren’t doing this, man,” Rhett sighs and takes a step back, leaving Link cold and alone. 

“But... I... I didn’t... I love you, Rhett,” he says, like it should be obvious, because it is, right? 

Rhett buries his face in his palms, scrubbing away his feelings like they mean nothing. When he drops them to his side, his eyes are left reddened and already swollen, and Link can’t help but think they’ve gotta look just like his. 

“Yeah, Link. I know you do. And I love you, too. But it’s just too little too late. It ain’t enough anymore. Me lovin’ you, you lovin’ me. At some point we gotta grow up and realize this isn’t workin’. And I know you say you’re gonna change, that’ll you’ll be better. But you never have before and I’m tired of waitin’. So. I love you, and I probably always will... but I think you should go. Please.” 

He drives home and feels nothing but numb.


	22. Chapter 22

The years have been kind to him, Link thinks, as he smirks at himself in the mirror. Mid twenties, and finally he's done with school. Took an extra couple'a years, but he's not gonna beat himself up about that, absolutely not. He switched his major. He pursued what he wanted, and now look at him. Tall and broad shouldered, inky black hair and eyes that could reach out and grab you if they wanted to. And now he'll have a degree to match at the end of the day. Look out world, and all of that. 

He stares at his reflection and gets his hands to cooperate, by some miracle, even if it's backwards. He impressed at the dexterity of his fingers, sure and precise. They never were before. 

And the hands, then arms that wrap around his waist ain't so bad either. S'not like he loves them, no, but they're something. They're a little anchor when he sometimes feels lost in the waves, but that's all and nothing more, and soon he's gonna have to tell her to beat it 'cause he sure as hell isn't sticking around this little podunk town. 

"You look really good, Link," her sultry voice whispers into his shoulder blades. "Sexy. You sure you've gotta leave already?" 

She's suggestive, but then again, she always is. There's not a whole lot more to this... whatever this is. And he wouldn't mind burying himself in her again, and maybe one more time for good luck, but that's not what today is for. Today is for getting his degree, packing his shit and heading west. 

"You know I gotta go, baby," he tells her as he finishes off the Windsor knot and rests his hands atop hers at his waistline. 

"You sure you don't want me to come?" She, as she has the last few times they've had this conversation, sounds a little disappointed like she already knows the answer, as she should. He's told her a dozen times that he just wants to get in, get out, and get home. 

"Thanks for offerin', but there won't be much to see. Plus, my mama's gonna be cryin' and it'll just be all kinds of awkward. You don't wanna meet her like that," he smiles and turns in her arms, leaning down and kissing her once, twice, and once more that lingers.

"You're going to have to introduce us at some point, you know," she tuts at him, long fingernails tracing down his black button up. 

He grins and pecks her one more time, just to placate, and then he's got his cap and gown in his hand and he's headed for his truck. He'll call her later to tell her that he's not coming back. Honestly, he's not sure why she's gotten so attached. They've only got a few months in, and they're not really the talking type of couple. 

Does it make him a piece of shit? Absolutely. 

Does he care? Absolutely not.

He's not heartless. He's not. It's just hard to care about things that... you don't really care about. It's as simple as that.

It's like this. You get broken, you wanna break back, okay? It's not healthy, and he knows that, but damn, is it fun. 

Twenty five hundred miles away, an alarm screeches in the early morning, and long fingers fumble blindly to turn it off. There's a loud groan, a shuffle of blankets and a swat on Rhett's backside. 

"Get up, baby. That's your alarm," a deep, groggy voice rumbles close to his ear. 

Rhett smiles through the haze of sleep and rolls over, arms already wrapping around his sweet boyfriend, and he falls willingly to his chest. It's a nice, heavy warmth on top of him, a familiar feeling that's been there for well over a year now, one that he's gotten used to and one he's hoping lasts a good while longer. 

"As much as I'm loving this," he hears, "you better hop in the shower. Whatcha want for breakfast? Pancakes? Sausage?" 

"You're too good to me," Rhett tells him because it's true. He's a good guy. Nice. Handsome. Bends over backwards for any and everyone. Best of all, he's really, really proud of Rhett. Took him to meet his parents after just a month or so together. It was mind blowing. 

"Fine. Cereal it is, then. You can pour your own bowl," Zack chuckles and pulls away with a wink.

Rhett's shower doesn't take long logistically, but the relaxing heat of it keeps him in there longer than necessary. Face turned toward the steam, fingers letting the water drip down them. Bliss. Happiness. Conten- well, not contentedness, not exactly. But something close to it. There's a little something missing, but it's only little and it doesn't really matter. 

Especially not when he shuts off the water and is greeted by the smell of bacon, hot and greasy. He smiles to himself, his boyfriend knows him well. 

"Bacon and eggs, beau," Zack smiles widely and gestures to his plate. 

There's... there's things that Rhett should say. Thank you for making me breakfast. Thank you for being so sweet to me. Thank you for being here; for being you. I'm so happy we're together...

But he doesn't say any of that, because his brain is a little scrambled. A little frozen. And his stomach is flipping back and forth like it might never settle down again. Did he... did he just call him bo? He can't remember a time that he'd told Zack what Link called him... but... was he making fun of him? 

"What'd you call me?" 

"I dunno... what did I call y-"

"Bo. You called me bo," Rhett snaps with hard set eyes and fingers digging into the fleshy palms of his hands. 

"Beau? Okay... so? Like... like boyfriend? Sorry, didn't know it was an issue..." he mumbles dejectedly, head down and bottom lip tugged between his teeth. 

"Spell it." 

"Spell it?" 

"Spell it." 

Zack takes a step back and creases a brow, arching it high with confusion. What an odd thing for him to get hung up on. But Rhett's always been at least a little odd, though admittedly, he's not usually this... intense. 

"B-e-a-u?" 

Rhett lets out the hot stream of air that had been burning in his chest, it's loud through his nose and it's obvious that he's deflating. His fingers ease off, but leave crescents in his skin. But damn, if he doesn't feel stupid. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Thanks for breakfast, babe. This is great." 

He does his best to fake a convincing smile. Tries not to let the hole in his heart show through his chest. Because of course he knows what came over him. Knows he's still not the same. Knows that there's not just something little missing. There's something big and real and damning missing; Link. 

A day and a half later, Link drums his fingers idly on the fold down tray hovering over his lap. It's nice that he'd nabbed a window seat; the views are just stunning enough to keep him from being nervous about being in the air. The drizzle that beads against the window is soothing, and soon he finds his eyes drooping and his head lulling to the side.  The distant and low rumble of thunder does him in, and before he knows what hit him, he's out cold. 

Rhett smiles when he walks into the living room. Zack's curled up in a lounge chair near the window, book in his lap and cup of hot tea in his hand. He looks up and grins back, brown eyes looking even darker in the dim lighting filtering in from outside. 

"Missed you today," he whispers when Rhett leans down to kiss him, and just as Rhett's about to tell him that he missed him, too, a flash of lightning brightens the room. 

Zack peers through the glass, noticing the tiny drops of water pelting against it. 

"Looks like a storms about to move in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Enterthetadpole for being my sounding board!


	23. Chapter 23

It's been a long time. A long, overly long, Link thinks, time of him sitting in the screaming green waiting room of Randler Productions. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if the coffee hadn't been halfway to stale and if the magazines had anything from this decade to offer. But neither of those things are so, and so Link sits with his hands impatiently in his lap and his eyes trained toward the stained up drop ceiling above him. 

People mill around here and there, talking amongst themselves. Pretty girls. Pretty guys. They're all so much better looking than they were back home, and if Link didn't know any better, he'd think that he was starting to feel a little self conscious. He curls in on himself a little more, and instead of looking at the people, he looks at the posters on the wall. 

You can't quite call this production company a B-movie maker. It's more like a D-movie maker. It's all horrible acting and girls with big tits in the staring roles. It's gorey horror with no real substance, but it's Hollywood. And it's Link's first gig in Hollywood. And while the pay is abysmal by industry standards, it's enough that he can afford a little, and I mean little, apartment in a shady part of town, as long as he uses up his savings and doesn't really ever eat. 

But he's here. And it's what he signed up for. And even though he has a crick in his neck and his back is yelling at him from sleeping on that Murphy Bed that may or may not have had a family of roaches living in it, he can't help but feel content. He got out. He's living his dream. Even if he's starting out at the bottom.

"Charles?" He hears, and his eyes find a woman, well put together and fierce, tapping on a clip board and waiting patiently. 

"Yeah, hi, hello," he scrambles and shoots to his feet, hand out stretched and ready to make a good first impression. "And please, call me Link." 

"We don't have much time for pleasantries," she tells him, and turns to lead him back into the door from which she came. "But I'm Stevie. You've got a lot to learn today and not a lot of time to do it. Sorry about that. You know how it goes... deadlines..." 

She leads him through a maze of hallways, sure footed and sure in her words. She's no nonsense, he can tell, especially when he realizes she's talking more to herself than she is to him. And that's okay. She's got a fast walk. She's probably got a lot on her plate. 

"Your job is going to be very similar to mine, from what I understand. You'll be working directly under me. We do a little bit of everything. Audio, visual, lighting, set change and script adjustments. Of course, you'll be closely monitored at first," she keeps on mumbling, legs moving a mile a minute. "And if we're being honest here, Link, your job is mostly gonna be grunt work at first. Getting coffees, lunches, running errands. Make sense?" 

"Yep. Yes, sure it does," he tells her excitedly, but the entire time she's talking, he's wondering how long he needs to wait before he asks her out for a drink. She’s as good looking as anyone else in this town, trim and sweet faced with hair down to her ass and a gleam in her eye. Maybe next week he’ll tell her so. Give himself a little bit of time to work his charm. Above all, he's humble. 

"Okay. Great. I'll introduce you around, and then we'll find you something to get started on, cool?" She asks without giving him anytime to answer. 

"This," she tells him as she rounds into the first room they come across, "is the writers room." 

She gestures vaguely at the small space, the walls lines with over sized computers, some with a body in front of them. The walls are a light blue, and still the posters of movies past grace the drywall. The group turns, seemingly irritated at the intrusion. 

"This is Alex, Ellie, and Emily," she points to each one, and Link gives them each a nod in return. "We have more that are in and out every now and then. Guys," she addresses them, "This is Link. You need anything, he's your gofer."

There’s little more than waves he gets back. They’re busy. He can respect that. He doesn’t need to be coddled and befriended right away. He moved away from the south- this was to be expected, he supposes. 

They’re quick to leave the room, the tour continuing, or rather, the show must go on, Link chuckles to himself. 

The next room, painted similarly to the last one, albeit much larger and with more expensive looking equipment is the production room, she tells him, and Link’s heart soars. This is what he came for. This is where he wants to be. 

He spins in place, trying his best to remember every little detail because dammit, he will be a producer. He didn’t come to LA, land of sweat and overpriced housing to be a fucking coffee getter. He came to make something of himself. Came to get his name in the credits. This room will belong to him. He’ll make sure of it. 

“This is Chase, our head producer,” she nods towards a seated man, or rather, the back of his head because he doesn’t turn around. 

It’s okay, Link thinks. He doesn’t need to meet his competition right now; it’ll probably be so much sweeter if he meets him while he’s taking his job. 

“Nice to meet you,” he calls anyway, because he is nothing if not a true player. 

He’s introduced to a few more people in a few more rooms, but none of them are really important to Link. He doesn’t really need them- he’ll figure his own way out. He’ll be running this place before he knows it. Out of the Murphy Bed and into a fucking California King- because that’s what he’s aiming to be. And he knows he’ll get there. He’s gonna be the talk of the town. He’s gonna be rich and famous and so, so much more than anyone else from back home. 

And he’s so lost in this thought, this fucking fantasy, that he’s stopped listening to the tour. He’s in his head, as he often is, puffing his chest and pride like only he can, when they step into a large sound stage. The interior of a house, it seems, and he follows Stevie when she says, “I know he’s around here somewhere...” 

His eyes are feasting on the beautiful design. For all intents and purposes, he’s in a house. Not some stage in some dingy warehouse, but an honest to god home. It’s familiar in a way; comfortable and relaxing- and it has him longing for his own home, back with his mama, though he can’t quite put his finger on why. 

Maybe it’s the layout. Similar to his back home, with the living room leading to the dining room attached to the kitchen. Maybe it’s the way the walls are colored a dulled canary yellow, the same as his mom’s living room. Or maybe... no. 

The first bedroom they come across is more like his than he’s comfortable with. Blue comforter. Windows facing the same way his did. A soccer trophy on the wooden dresser. It’s too weird, and Link thinks he might be on the verge of collapse when he hears it- 

“Ah. Here he is! This is our set designer, Rhett. Rhett, can I introduce you to-”

But she doesn’t get to finish her sentence, because there’s a clatter of the hammer in Rhett’s hand falling to the floor. There’s a gasp coming from Link, just behind her, and finally, there’s Rhett’s bellowing voice. Deeper with age and more commanding than Link remembers. Strong and powerful and... shit, intimidating?

“What in the actual fuck.” It’s not a question. It’s a statement. And it’s got Link’s heart racing.


	24. Chapter 24

Stevie looks to her left, to the man she's only just met moments ago. He wasn't all that impressive with the green of the waiting room painting his skin in a sickly shade of pea soup, but he's even less so now. Even from a few feet away she can hear his ragged breathing. She can tell his heart is racing by the bulging vein in his neck. He looks... scared, maybe? His eyes are a watery shade of "oh fuck," and already he's breaking out in the shimmer of a nervous sweat. 

She shifts on her feet. Back and forth, head whipping side to side. On her right, she sees her long time coworker. She'd even go so far as to say long time friend. She sees him, with his long legs and full beard, his coiffed hair and red plaid button up. He's familiar. She knows him. 

But she doesn't know the look in his eye. She doesn't recognize the way his eyebrows knit together, the way his lips turn down into the deepest frown she's ever seen. She doesn't recognize the way his fingers curl and uncurl or the posture that says he's not sure if he's gonna fight or run for the fucking hills. No, this isn't a man that she knows. Because the man that she knows is happy and resilient. This man, this stranger, is not happy. He's on the verge of collapse, maybe, on the verge of something big. 

She doesn't know if she's supposed to interject. If maybe she should pull Rhett aside and figure out just what the fuck is going on here. If she should take her friend and force a few shots down his throat to steady his nerves. If maybe she should call his boyfriend and have him picked up for the day. The way he looks now... it's anything but healthy. It's downright scary. 

"Hey, Rhett..." she mumbles, but it doesn't matter because Rhett's speaking again, and he's not paying a damn bit of attention to her. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He barks, his voice commanding and demanding. His chest is puffed out like he's putting on a show, like he'll back this guy down into a corner and laugh at his cowardice. There's nothing but hatred dripping from his words, and if she didn't know any better, she'd say they came from someone that's pure evil. 

"I..." Link stammers, and wow, if the dichotomy between these two isn't fucking palpable. Where Rhett is solid and rigid and powerful, Link is slowly morphing into a timid little mouse. He's closing up like he's going to implode. 

"Link," Stevie tries, needing to separate these two, if for no other reason than avoiding a company lawsuit, but he isn't listening. He's holding eye contact like his life's depending on it. 

"I'm waiting," Rhett says, with his eye brows lifting damn near to his hairline and his arms stretching out to his sides. 

"I... work here..." 

Rhett throws his head back in a laugh. A real, genuine laugh, and for a moment Stevie thinks maybe he's gone fucking crazy. He’s well and truly lost it. She's even more convinced when he wipes at the tears forming at his eyes before he clutches at his chest. 

"You've gotta be kiddin' me! This is such a fuckin' joke. Thanks, universe, for really, really fuckin' me over this time!" He bellows at the ceiling. He gives a few more breathless chuckles before he regains his composure and draws up to his full height. 

"Stevie, you're gonna have to give us a few minutes here," he tells her, but he keeps his eyes trained on Link. Like if he looks away for even a nano second he'll attack or disappear. She bites at her lip, worrying it between her teeth rhythmically as she thinks. 

"I don't think I can do th-"

"Stevie!" He snaps, and both she and Link jump at the tone. "I said give us a god damn minute!" And then, softer, as if he's come to his senses, "Please. We're okay. Just- just, please." 

She looks to Link to make sure that he is indeed okay, but she gets nothing out of him. His gaze as fallen to the cracked concrete beneath his feet and his hands have tied behind his back. 

"Okay. Okay, I'll let you guys work... whatever this is out... but Rhett..." she pleads with her eyes, and he nods. He gets it. This doesn't look good for anyone, especially not himself. 

"I'll be right outside," she promises the two of them, sparing one final glance over her shoulder before she eases back out. 

They're quiet for a good long time. A few strangled moment of silence that lingers on and on until Link can't fucking stand it anymore. He clears his throat and drums on his thighs, and it's such a Link thing to do. Just for a minute Rhett can pretend that they're teenagers and happy and in love again. But then he remembers that they weren't all that happy, and they're certainly not in love anymore- if they ever even were. 

"The set... you made it my house..." Link says quietly. Like he's trying to preserve some dignity. Like if he gets loud he's gonna lose it, and really, maybe he will. There’s a little tug at his lip, a little hint of a smile. 

"Yeah. The character who lives here gets murdered in the opening sequence. Beheaded," he tells him, voice void of any emotion. 

"Ah," Link nods, setting his jaw, because fuck, that god damn hurts. "Thought we left it off on better terms than that."

"Yeah. Well you always were on the dense side. Dumbest smart guy I know." 

Link laughs at that, or fuck, maybe it's just a little giggle, but for a minute Rhett giggles back. He doesn't mean for it to happen, but it sends the wrong message, and soon Link is grinning like a fool and stepping a little closer. 

"I can't believe you're here. Had no idea. I... fuck, Rhett. I missed you somethin' fierce." 

If it were anyone else, Link would be tomato red with embarrassment at saying something so... so romance novel cliche. Something so stupid that only someone in a Lifetime movie would say it. But it's Rhett- his Rhett- and when has he ever not been able to say what he's been thinking around his Rhett?

Rhett lets the words wash over him like a dip in the ocean on a scorching hot day. Like the words are oxygen and it's its first breath in a century. 

But only for a moment. Because hell no. He’s older and better than this. He will not be taken in by this boy. Not here. Not now. Not ever again. Link doesn’t have that power. 

"You can't be here," he says, instead of something else. Something like, "I missed you, too," or, "let's get out of here," or, "wanna fuck you so bad in that copycat version of your room." 

"Can't be here?" Link questions incredulously. "I work here, Rhett. Moved across the country for this gig. I ain't leavin' brother."

"I'm not askin'. I'm tellin'."

Link sighs, heavy and wet and throaty before he drags his hands down his face and settles them on his own neck. He stares back at Rhett, taking in the angular way his face has aged. The way his shoulders have broadened and his waistline was filled out. He looks... Jesus, he looks fucking good, and that makes it even harder to keep his head straight. 

"Listen, this is my dang meal ticket, man. I don't have another source of income. I don't know anyone else to give me a fuckin' job. I'm not leavin', Rhett. We can stay clear of each other. I won't... god, I won't bother you or nothin'. And I'm sorry that we're in this sticky situation. But I literally can't leave. I don't have any options here."

Rhett's always done this thing. This thing where his bottom lip juts out when he's frustrated. Now isn't any exception. And it's coupled with crossed arms and a tapping toe and Link knows he means business. 

"Look, bo-" Link says softly, like he's ready to make a compromise, but it has the opposite outcome when Rhett's eyes reignite. 

"Don't fucking call me that. Don't you fucking dare, Neal," he hisses, and Link nods his defeat and puts his hands up to show his retreat. But Link's always been a bit of a shit head. 

"Sorry. Would you prefer honey?" He asks, with his voice dripping with it. 

"Not funny, Link." 

"Okay. Darlin', then?" 

"Fuckin'. Quit it!" 

But his irritation only makes Link smile wider. It's always been this way. Link pushing when Rhett's pulling, they've always been at odds even when they're in sync. 

"Oh. I get it," he smirks. "You want me to call you baby instead. Isn't that right, baby?" His voice is like silk, deep and dark and twangy, a little taste of home, and he's just about to start laughing when he sees the bob of Rhett's throat. 

"Please stop, Link. Just... stop." 

Now he's the one that sounds defeated. Worn and raspy and tired. Far too past his own age, and the thought of it tears a little something inside Link. Something primal within him. Something that's been instilled in him for decades, and it hurts that Rhett's hurt. 

"Shit. I'm sorry Rhett. I... fuck. I dunno what to do here, man. I need this job. I really fuckin' need it. I'll be homeless..." 

Rhett swallows again and looks around wildly, like the answer will write itself on the walls. Like the angels above will call down themselves and give them another option. But nothing happens, save for Rhett's gaze finally landing back on Link. And god damn if this isn't the worst day he's had in... since the last time he saw Link. 

"I can't be near you," Rhett whispers, so quiet that Link barely hears him. "And apparently I just can't get away from you... just... just stay away from me, okay? If we come in contact... just be professional. Pretend you don't know me. Pretend. Pretend like we never met and we never..." Rhett's voice cracks, and damn, he thought he was over this. This crying and whining over someone that never truly wanted him the way he needed to be wanted. 

And. No! No, he is over it. He has a boyfriend. He has someone to go home to. Someone that's proud of him and loves him. And fucking. He takes him home to meet his parents! No, he's over Link. Has been for a long time. 

"Just stay the fuck away from me." And this time, his voice is so much stronger. His face is harder and he doesn't give Link any time to respond before he slips away past the replica of Link's home. And Link is left behind. Again.

There's a lot that Link wants to say. He wants to be snarky. He wants to piss Rhett off more. He wants to be kind and comforting. He wants to tell him to wait, come back, beg him to talk to him. He wants to say he's thought about him every day since he's left. He wants to hug him and see if he still holds back just as tightly. But he doesn't say or do any of that. 

Instead he tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans and wanders towards the door Stevie had let herself out of, and hopes she's still waiting there. Or maybe not. Maybe he hopes he can find a bit of solitude and sulk... and fuck. He doesn't know what he wants or needs. There's too much to even fully know himself. 

"Everything okay?" She asks as soon as he's within her sight, and he nods, gives her a little smile, but he's lying. But then again, he's always been a good liar.


	25. Chapter 25

"So," Stevie says, pink lips pressed gently to a steaming mug of coffee. Her eyes are shining particularly brightly this morning, and Rhett can't help but sneer. 

His own eyes must be anything but bright, as he'd spent the night tossing and turning. Fixating on the pain in his back and the way his shorts twisted awkwardly against his skin. He had things on his mind, alright? Nothing, nothing too important, but. Things. 

"So," he says back, though his voice is far harsher than hers, but she has the good graces not to let it bother her. 

"How're things?" She asks sweetly, like she's not just dying to get in on the whole 'what the fuck was that; are they fighting or fucking?,' situation from the day before. 

"Fine," he mumbles, curt and with a hint of finality, but she's not playing. Not this game. Not when she has a studio to keep standing. 

"So... Link," She starts, and sets the coffee on the hideous mustard yellow linoleum countertop behind her. 

"No. We're not talking about him. I'm doin' my best to pretend he's back on the other side of the country," he snaps. He doesn't mean to be so abrupt with her. He likes her and he always has. She's a good kid and a damn hard worker, but this just isn't any of her business. It's not anyone's business but his, and maybe Link's, but Link doesn't get a vote nor a say here. 

"Ah, so he's from your childhood. I see," she presses on anyway, because she has a right to know! If it's going to cause a disturbance, she needs to be in the loop so that she can preplan her damage control. 

"No. Well, yes. But no. Okay? Just drop it.” He's pleading now, with his big dopey eyes glossed over and his little lips pulled tightly. 

It's not exactly, well it's not fun to see him like this. And she... well, she cares about him. A lot. It's not just about the business. It's about Rhett as a person, a friend. She wants him to be okay. And maybe, maybe if he just opens a up a little- it'll help. She's not exactly a therapist, but she's a damn good listener. 

"Do you still love him?" She asks quietly, soft and assuring. Like she won't judge him for it. Like even though she's met Zack a dozen times, more even, that if Rhett still has feelings for this guy, she'll understand. 

"I didn't say we were ever even together," he deflects, but there's defeat in the voice, heavy and searing. 

"You didn't have to, Rhett. It's obvious. People don't... well, they don't act that way toward people they haven't seen naked," she chuckles, but it isn't unkind. It's just... is what it is. 

"He was... my first," Rhett admits with shriveled shoulders. "My first boyfriend. Or. I don't know what we were. Maybe not boyfriends. But," he chokes, but he will not cry. Not over Link. Not anymore. "But I loved him. I loved him so much. Y'know, that first love kinda love. Puppy love. And puppy is such the right word, cause I would'a followed him anywhere. Done anything to make him happy," he says and smiles sadly. "But... no, I don't love him anymore. And I won't again, because he doesn't deserve it."

"Oh, Rhett," she rumbles, and hugs him even though he didn't ask for it. He gives her a pat, then two on her back before stepping out of her embrace. 

"Don't go gettin' all sappy. I'm fine, and it ain't a good look on you. 'Sides, I'm happy. I've got Zack. And this job. I've got friends. It just... sucks that he's here. But it is what it is, and ain't no use in cryin' over spilled milk anyway," he shrugs, and maybe if he keeps telling himself that, he'll actually come to believe it.

"So you think you can keep it together around him then? Since you're over him?" She challenges, a wicked gleam gracing her features. It's a dare, really, the way she says it. Because she's kind and compassionate, but she's also manipulative and sneaky when she needs to be. 

"Ugh," Rhett scoffs, all sense of sadness leaving his voice, allowing only for a cocky bravado to stay behind. "Of course. He doesn't mean anything to me," he says surely. 

"Good. Because he's your assistant for the day."

Rhett stops. Just stops. No breathing. No moving. His pulse has probably given up, also, because if Link is his assistant... that means the two of them. Just the two of them. Working on a replica of Link's bedroom. A replica of the room that the two of them had spent hours, days, months even, locked up tight together. Hell, he can't even think the last time he'd spent in that room with his platonic friend. Instead there's only memories of hot sweat and panting breaths and Link with his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed and his lips kiss bruised. And he... well, it's not really Link's room, but he's just supposed to spend time in that room with him and pretend like he hasn't seen Link naked in the practically the same fucking setting? He's supposed to stand there and pretend that he hadn't professed his love over and over with those same (for all intents and purposes) four walls surrounding them. Or pushed Link down into the same blue comforter? Or been pressed down into it himself? 

Damn him. Damn himself for having such an eye for detail. He'd just... he'd done it to be vindictive, and look where that's getting him. He could have just... not had the inspiration and it would be marginally better. But he just had to kill off the owner of the house in this fucking room. Way to go, self. Way to go. 

"Stevie," he scratches out, a heavy gulp threatening to swallow his tongue. "No. I can't- I'm not gonna do that." 

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't schedule it like this. I tried to get it switched, I really did. That's the only place he's needed right now, though. This isn't a punishment for you, Rhett. At least not intentionally." 

To her credit, she does look contrite. She's got the good graces to water up her eyes and turn her lips into a thin line, but still it isn't enough. 

"You're really gonna do this to me?"  

"I really am sorry, Rhett. But it's out of our hands. Just try to make the best of it. Make him do the heavy lifting," she tries to smile, and while he's unconvinced that the day could be anything but catastrophic, he gives her a sad smile back.

~

"So..." Link mumbles and rocks on his feet. His hands are nestled see in his pockets, and really, he's never looked smaller. It brings a smirk to Rhett's face, Link looking so nervous. Good. Because if he thinks he's going to have an easy day- he's got another thing coming. "Heard I'm workin' with you today." 

"I heard the same. S'a shame, hmm?" Rhett answers and pretends to be a little too distracted by the baseboard he's installing. He's nothing if not thorough, and next will be the crown molding. 

"I... don't think so," Link mumbles, and hates that he, ever confident in himself, melts into a little puddle just because he's talking to his ex. He's good at being a big man, tough and sure of himself. But he's never been big next to Rhett. 

"I think it could be good. Y'know. For us to catch up," he qualifies. 

"I don't wanna catch up with you, Link," Rhett says truthfully and stands up to his full height. "I didn't ask for you to be on this team. I don't want you here at all." 

Link's right cheek hollows out at the words, a tell tale sign that he's chewing on it. He's uncomfortable. And Rhett is thrilled. 

"Okay. Alright. Well..." he looks around with a sigh. "What can I start on... boss?"

Boss. Now that's something Rhett can get used to. The little tingle of power plays at his finger tips and and tongue as it pokes out to lick at his lips while he looks around. Surely there's something at least a little demoralizing he can set aside for Link to accomplish. 

"I could use a tea. You should probably go make it for me. And maybe a sandwich or something? I haven't eaten yet today." 

Link stands still for a moment, trying to hide the glare in his eyes. But Rhett knows them as well as he knows his own- almost as if he's staring into a mirror. He knows the anger lurking just behind his irises. 

"What kind of tea and... sandwich?" He bites at the words, and Rhett beams. He soaks up the control as if he's the worlds largest fucking sponge and just... oh, it's fantastic. 

"Hmm. I'm thinking something calming. Maybe something with lavender in it? I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out. And as far as the sandwich goes, I want roast beef, Swiss cheese... you should probably take a note here, Link. Anyway..." 

He rattles off a complicated order, absolutely sure that Link will have to leave to go get the necessities. There's no way in hell the studio keeps fucking lavender on hand. No way in hell. 

And as Link walks off with sagged shoulders and a clenched fist, Rhett yells, "don't hate seein' you go quite as much as I used to!"

Without the distraction, it’s amazing how much work a focused man can get done. Baseboards are settled. Crown molding is measured and cut, and all in all, his work on this particular set is coming to a close. It’s nice. It’s... a little too on the nose, a little too like home. But, you know... it’s what he was going for...

He runs his fingers against the faked dry wall, thinking that the color matches pretty well from what he can recall. Of course, it’s hard to be certain when there isn’t real sunlight to float in through the fake windows. 

The carpeting is a decent match too. Though Link’s hasn’t been quite so clean. Years of his and Rhett’s adventures make spilled patterns across the fabric back home. Here, it’s a pristine white, and he chuckles when he thinks of how much Link would have loved to keep his own this clean. 

He’s sitting on the bed, fingers scissoring in the soft cotton of the bed spread when Link comes back. He still looks flustered, though... his eyes, they go a little doe-y, Rhett surmises, when he sees him in him “room.” And Rhett would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel that same little wave of nostalgia hit him, too. 

“Brought your food, b-Rhett,” he says in a voice that’s far too soft for Rhett’s ears, and gingerly hands over a little paper bag and a capped cup of tea. He does the same thing he had earlier, rocking back and forth on his feet like he really isn’t sure what to go before he turns around and starts to head back out. 

“Wait,” Rhett rasps, and for some reason his voice is coming out all wrong. Like it’s strained. Like he’s been crying for the last few years. And really, hasn’t he? “You can stay. If you want. Can have half of this?” He offers, and crinkles the paper in his hands. 

“You’re sure?” 

“You’re... actually really skinny, now that I look at’cha,” Rhett huffs with a look that screams displeased. “Just sit down and eat. I wanna get this room done. Tired of bein’ in it.” 

Link chooses not to say that he could have just made it any other room and it wouldn’t have been an issue. And Rhett chooses not to notice that while the room is fake, the man next to him most certainly is not. 

And neither is the hollow feeling he gets in his stomach when he looks at him.


End file.
